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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a lot of posters have a really naive idea about what children’s social workers are for?

52 replies

Summermeadowflowers · 23/10/2023 06:38

This is not aimed at any one thread, but I have noticed a trend (particularly when someone is struggling parenting a child with additional needs) that posters are urged to contact SS for ‘support.’ I do think a lot of posters think that a mere phone call away is a lovely, understanding social worker who will act as a personal friend and source of support and provide you and your family with respite care and ongoing support.

I have also noticed SS as a ‘threat’ to posters struggling with their children, that if the school notice or the nursery notice any struggles then SS will get ‘involved.’ Both these views are just impossibly naive.

It isn’t just that services are so stretched that even families where removal is a distinct possibility don’t get support, it’s also that SS involvement isn’t a good thing. It would have to be disclosed when applying for places eg at educational settings, or have them informed for a trip to A and E for instance.

And we do have free autonomy on how we parent. Someone may do something you might personally think is wrong or unwise but that doesn’t mean SS can or should be involved on that basis.

As much as serious concerns should be passed onto them, I really think some posters believe they offer support which they generally don’t, and swoop in threatening to take children on the basis of quite non serious things like PND, shouting at children, etc.

OP posts:
Azandme · 23/10/2023 06:40

Is this a professional opinion?

AfterWeights · 23/10/2023 06:42

Some of what you say is sort of true, but social worker involvement can also be the gateway to accessing other support services.

Kalodi · 23/10/2023 06:42

Tbh that's not been my personal experience of SS. They did come round and gave us a 1 to 1 parenting course, weekly for 6 weeks, and an ear to listen to when we were struggling with getting DS1 to school and learning how we can adapt our family and the school to better suit his needs as someone with autism.

Thisismynewusernamedoyoulikeit · 23/10/2023 06:47

You're not being unreasonable, you are wrong.

"Social services input is not a good thing" - it is if you have a child born with profound and multiple disabilities who needs specialist equipment and respite careers. It can be in many other circumstances too.

JessicaBrassica · 23/10/2023 06:47

We have wellbeing workers who support our children with complex needs. They attend appointments with families, liaise with professionals, advocate for young people etc. They are within social services.

Hopingforno2in2023 · 23/10/2023 06:53

act as a personal friend and source of support and provide you and your family with respite care and ongoing support.

My mum works for an organisation which works with social services and this is exactly what she does.

Doingmybest12 · 23/10/2023 06:57

There are specific services which are early help or for children in need ,eg with disabilities. They are gatekeepers to particular pots of money or services. They have statutory duties which they perform. I think you are making people worry about stigma of involvement and the perpetuation of this means people avoid engaging where they should.

Jellycatspyjamas · 23/10/2023 07:17

Social work is governed by legislation, which is say there’s needs to be a legal basis for their involvement with a family. This can be due to a child having a disability, where there are legal provisions to provide support and guidance, or through child welfare and protection provisions which must be led by social work. There are also many services offered by social work assistants, family support workers and third sector agencies that are accessed via social work services.

it’s also that SS involvement isn’t a good thing.

It can be a very good thing. It may mean that families get the help they need to parent their child, that children can access education or therapeutic supports they need, that children are protected from harm, that families receive money and practical help.

I do think some posters don’t understand the role of social work and there are many misconceptions about what we do - you’ve perpetuated a few in your OP.

LodiDodi · 23/10/2023 07:30

This will vary depending widely on where you live tbh. If you're in a well do to place with fewer social issues they may well 'swoop in' for apparently minor problems and have more time and services to offer if you self tefer. If you're in an area where they're less funded/ more stretched with issues then it will be less likely, won't it?

Cupcakegirl13 · 23/10/2023 07:35

All I can say OP is you are clearly not a children’s social worker !!

Willyoujustbequiet · 23/10/2023 07:36

I have kids with complex needs. Was a single parent with no support.

I've never had any contact with SS for my dc. Never heard anything from them.

Wonkasworld · 23/10/2023 07:38

So from what angle are you coming with your superior view?

Mumofsend · 23/10/2023 07:39

In our area even children in fairly horrendous situations don't meet the bar for involvement and families with complex needs children don't meet the threshold for support.

You certainly don't get support just because you call and ask for some. You might get referred to early help but there is a real issue with early help deeming a family above what they can offer but still don't meet the SS services so you get nothing at all.

Yerroblemom1923 · 23/10/2023 07:41

@Hopingforno2in2023 do you mind if I ask which organisation your mum works for? It sounds like something I'd like to do.

Hedonism · 23/10/2023 07:43

OP, what a hugely unhelpful post. Potentially dangerous, if it stops families from reaching out for help.

x2boys · 23/10/2023 07:43

Summermeadowflowers · 23/10/2023 06:38

This is not aimed at any one thread, but I have noticed a trend (particularly when someone is struggling parenting a child with additional needs) that posters are urged to contact SS for ‘support.’ I do think a lot of posters think that a mere phone call away is a lovely, understanding social worker who will act as a personal friend and source of support and provide you and your family with respite care and ongoing support.

I have also noticed SS as a ‘threat’ to posters struggling with their children, that if the school notice or the nursery notice any struggles then SS will get ‘involved.’ Both these views are just impossibly naive.

It isn’t just that services are so stretched that even families where removal is a distinct possibility don’t get support, it’s also that SS involvement isn’t a good thing. It would have to be disclosed when applying for places eg at educational settings, or have them informed for a trip to A and E for instance.

And we do have free autonomy on how we parent. Someone may do something you might personally think is wrong or unwise but that doesn’t mean SS can or should be involved on that basis.

As much as serious concerns should be passed onto them, I really think some posters believe they offer support which they generally don’t, and swoop in threatening to take children on the basis of quite non serious things like PND, shouting at children, etc.

You do realise that disabled children can slso.have a social.worker right?
No its not just as simple as phoning social services for support and getting lots of lovely respite ,but the children with disabilities social, workers do assessments to.try and get families respite etc.

GroanWoman · 23/10/2023 07:46

It is absolutely ridiculous to state that SS involvement is "not a good thing" and imply that it could be held against a young person in the future. To be involved with SS isn't a punishment and doesn't denote a crime or any wrongdoing; it is often a gateway to further essential help.

Plenty of people are no experts on what SS do (why would they be?) but it sounds like you're pretty clueless, too.

TolkiensFallow · 23/10/2023 07:50

You clearly aren’t a social worker and your knowledge of legal responsibilities of social workers in local Government is poor.

Doingmybest12 · 23/10/2023 07:50

Willyoujustbequiet · 23/10/2023 07:36

I have kids with complex needs. Was a single parent with no support.

I've never had any contact with SS for my dc. Never heard anything from them.

Unless there are safeguarding worries they won't actively seek you out. There needs to be a particular need and a referral needs to be made by you or a professional with your knowledge and agreement. If you meet the criteria for assessment depends on the situation and local arrangements. But if your child has a disability, they should be deemed a Child in Need, whether they have a service that meets the need is another thing.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 23/10/2023 07:55

My child is being assessed for an EHCP. I’m glad social services will be involved. I’m exhausted and trapped by her even though l love her more than my life. I don’t know what to do to make her have a normal life.

gotomomo · 23/10/2023 07:57

@Summermeadowflowers

What you say is simply untrue. For children with disabilities, a social worker is the gateway to respite hours, to charity programmes and they work in conjunction with sen schools. This is definitely the case, my dsd has transferred to adult care now but she had a social worker from shortly after diagnosis.

You are correct that they are in short supply, you won't qualify because you have a child who is a bit difficult, maybe a asd/adhd diagnosis but they would not even have met the criteria 25 years old level of disability, but for parents of children with high support needs they are a godsend - a no the social workers were not interfering or interested in the things you insinuate, dp says they were angels

Zonder · 23/10/2023 07:58

A lot of what OP says is right. I'm an advisory send teacher and SS will rarely get involved. In our area at least, what people are describing is a Family Worker. I don't know if that's a national term or just in our county. They are the ones that can get involved supporting a family with parenting or with accessing different services.

Geneticsbunny · 23/10/2023 07:59

If you have a child with a disability, you can't access any respite facilities without accessing social services.

So do you think we should all just make do without any support???

Jellycatspyjamas · 23/10/2023 08:01

I'm an advisory send teacher and SS will rarely get involved. In our area at least, what people are describing is a Family Worker.

In my area Family Workers/Family Support Workers are accessed via social work services, the actual work doesn’t need a qualified social worker.

Zonder · 23/10/2023 08:02

At least in our area it's definitely not SS who help access support for disabled children. The link below explains this. It's the local council's local offer that signposts.

I attend TAF meetings for a good number of our children and there is rarely a SW involved.

councilfordisabledchildren.org.uk/what-we-do-0/networks/information-advice-and-support-programme/how-find-and-access-support#:~:text=Visit%20your%20local%20authority%20website,across%20the%20relevant%20local%20area.