AIBU to not want to see cancelled dates again (OLD)?

[onold]

I met Mr A on one of those dating apps. He's in his forties. I'm in my late thirties. We've been on two dates. We agreed a third date, to cycle around to grab coffee. The date was his idea, not mine. A day to the date, he cancelled claiming he had itchy throat. I sent him my best wishes. Upon looking on his profile on the day of the date, his location shows as in another country which I know he frequents.
I think he cancelled our date because he decided to do a European weekend away. But why lie about something so trivial?
AIBU to not want to see Mr A again?

I met Mr B on same dating app. We're both in our late thirties. He was quick to ask me on a first date. I agreed, but negotiated for a later date in the week as I'm busy. Well, the D-day comes and three hours to the time agreed, Mr B cancelled on me on the basis that there's a work socials he needs to attend, but also moaning about how he hated going to such things. I simply responded saying enjoy yourself.
He's since then left a message asking for a reschedule, but I have not responded.
I did feel that a late cancellation signalled no regard for my time.
AIBU to not give Mr B another shot?

What would you do in both cases?
Thanks.

I think when men are keen on you they will move heaven and earth to see you. There is no game playing or second guessing.
I would bin them both.

YANBU - if they cancel it suggests lack of effort. Not a great way to start a relationship.
Mr A could have explained he’d made other plans.
Mr B should have given more than 3 hours notice.
both have shown a lack of consideration for you so why give them another chance?

I think it depends my now husband cancelled our first date due to an emergency and I remember thinking "christ another one of these guys" however within minutes of me replying, he had suggested another date, day and time so I knew he was interested. I think that makes the difference, as others have said if they are keen they will show it.

If Mr A contacted me again, I’d ask him “Did you have a nice time in Country X?” and let him squirm.

Leave both on Read. The early days are when you see the very best of someone, and if this is their best I'd hate to see the worst.

I think it depends how many other options you have.
Mr A - I'd be annoyed that he's lied but I'd probably see him again, even if only to see him squirm when I asked how he's enjoyed his trip
Mr B - as someone who worked in a role in my 20s & early 30s where I was regularly cancelling dates due to unexpected work commitments, I would just put this down to one of those things and re-arrange.

Don't engage. Block and delete.

Agree.

It's up to you. You don't owe anyone a date.

I'd write them both off I'm afraid.

Exactly this - I met DP at a party and we wanted to see each other again so we made a date for a couple of weeks in advance as he had a busy period coming up.

The following morning he rang me to bring it forward, he'd cancelled his existing plans in order to take me out instead.

Still together 40 years later.

We all have diary clashes. I recently suggested to a friend that we go out on a day when I had a ticket for a comedian that I was desperate to see. The minute I realised that it wasn't doable, I texted him to apologise, suggest another time and apologise again.

Colds are a bit different, they turn up unexpectedly (got one brewing now) and you go from 60mph to 5 overnight.

HOWEVER Man A lied. He could have said that he forgot it was that week he had plane tickets for, in plenty of time. Then was too stupid to turn his location off. He'd have been forgiven the truth, but that lie gets him binned.

Man B, methinks the gentleman doth protest too much. Firstly, the work social should have been in his diary already and see above for my thoughts there. The moaning about having to go sounds like he's trying to convince you that he would rather be with you, but his very life hinges on him going to this thing. In actual fact, you have been dropped for an impromptu piss up.
The bin's over there....

Yeah, that would have got him a second chance with me too.

Bye Felicia.

They're my only 2 options.
I don't mind letting them go as I've always made excuses for people whilst dating only to kick myself for not taking the early red flags seriously.

My gut feeling tells me Mr B went on a 'work socials' he'd thought was a better option and only crawled back when it was not all it cracked up to be.

Thanks to everyone for responding.
I'll let them go.

I would still consider B. Work socials are often necessary/useful occasions even for people who don't like them, so I can easily see something coming up short notice that would have made it a good idea to attend.

Re A, up to you. I probably wouldn't be able to resist making a little dig about his whereabouts!

It's not a "red flag". It's just something you might not like and that's fair enough.

Lying is certainly a red flag. He said he was ill but he was actually unavailable because he wasn't in the country.

@happylittlesloth I think lying and not respecting my time are red flags.

100% this.

I don't think there's any such thing as being unreasonable when it comes to reasons for choosing not to see a date again. The reason doesn't have to be a red flag. It could be the most trivial thing in the world. It doesn't matter. You owe no date the benefit of the doubt.

Thank you for the reassurance.
I'll bear this in mind. Im usually not the one to let dates down; I'm only now developing the ability based on how crappy my potential online matches have been presenting recently.

Yup, they're not going to get better from here.