AIBU to not want to see cancelled dates again (OLD)?

29 replies

onold · 22/10/2023 10:36

I met Mr A on one of those dating apps. He's in his forties. I'm in my late thirties. We've been on two dates. We agreed a third date, to cycle around to grab coffee. The date was his idea, not mine. A day to the date, he cancelled claiming he had itchy throat. I sent him my best wishes. Upon looking on his profile on the day of the date, his location shows as in another country which I know he frequents.
I think he cancelled our date because he decided to do a European weekend away. But why lie about something so trivial?
AIBU to not want to see Mr A again?

I met Mr B on same dating app. We're both in our late thirties. He was quick to ask me on a first date. I agreed, but negotiated for a later date in the week as I'm busy. Well, the D-day comes and three hours to the time agreed, Mr B cancelled on me on the basis that there's a work socials he needs to attend, but also moaning about how he hated going to such things. I simply responded saying enjoy yourself.
He's since then left a message asking for a reschedule, but I have not responded.
I did feel that a late cancellation signalled no regard for my time.
AIBU to not give Mr B another shot?

What would you do in both cases?
Thanks.

OP posts:

theduchessofspork · 22/10/2023 16:40

Ella31 · 22/10/2023 11:04

I think it depends my now husband cancelled our first date due to an emergency and I remember thinking "christ another one of these guys" however within minutes of me replying, he had suggested another date, day and time so I knew he was interested. I think that makes the difference, as others have said if they are keen they will show it.

Yes this.

Neither of these two are that interested

theduchessofspork · 22/10/2023 16:43

GrumpyPanda · 22/10/2023 12:13

I would still consider B. Work socials are often necessary/useful occasions even for people who don't like them, so I can easily see something coming up short notice that would have made it a good idea to attend.

Re A, up to you. I probably wouldn't be able to resist making a little dig about his whereabouts!

I can’t think of any important work social that would come up at the last minute.

Kittensat36 · 22/10/2023 22:23

onold · 22/10/2023 12:12

My gut feeling tells me Mr B went on a 'work socials' he'd thought was a better option and only crawled back when it was not all it cracked up to be.

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That's what I was trying to get at. You're so right to bin them.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 22/10/2023 22:53

ISeeARedDoorAndIWantToBreakIn · 22/10/2023 11:16

If Mr A contacted me again, I’d ask him “Did you have a nice time in Country X?” and let him squirm.

I wouldn’t say anything, I’d just let them wonder!

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