Exactly this. I could’ve written this months ago. Manager laying it on but when no one else was looking but always in a way that if I’d mentioned it I’ve have sounded crazy cos he’s a ‘nice guy’ . Anyway ended up fancying him. He started texting outside work (again if I’d have called him up on it it would have all looked innocent.) . Ended up googling whether his body language etc were sings of him liking me etc… all…. The …time
Anyway it’s got better. I started by telling myself that as it’s all a bit sneaky/ behind closed doors that he’s probably doing it to others, on the team. Which makes him a creep.
I basically realised that if he’s going to be unboundaried I need to sort the boundaries out. So basically started dealing with him on a needs must basis, being polite and professional, talking about work only. If he can’t be a manger that’s his problem. We don’t need to be friends or anything else. I’ve also started a little list of his slightly odd behaviours and when they happened so that if anything happens in future I can raise it.
Ive also focused on his negatives- he eats really loudly, is a massive a**e licker to his managers and is not very good at his job.
If I find myself thinking about him I think about what this posters said- that no good would come of is acting on it. The not seeing my children every day because my husband would leave me etc. and the fact that this guy, who blows hot and cold and either has currently, or has in the past, done this to other team members, is 100% not worth it.