Do you assume diabetics with horrible complications are to blame?

[BlueberryIsMyFavourite]

I'm just curious about this. And as this is an anonymous forum I thought people would answer truthfully, whereas in person I think people at least sometimes want to be more gentle.

I have type 1 diabetes for a long time now, 28 years, since childhood. I have always been incredibly sensitive to insulin and for a long time in old fashioned terms would have been called "brittle" but doctors don't tend to use that term anymore.

I have very good diabetes management now thanks to new technology. However, plenty of damage was done early on.

There just seems to be a general sense that people think diabetes is quite simple to control, and if you are struggling it's because you aren't doing something right.

Whereas, there are so, so many factors that can cause blood sugar to rise or drop apart from food - as an example, brushing my teeth can cause me to start dropping quickly, which then needs some glucose or juice to treat and stabilise it, and try brushing teeth again later. Because of course, diabetes also can destroy oral health, so good oral hygiene is very important. This is obviously a small, mundane example.

It is relentless and there are no days off.

Do you just assume diabetics with complications are essentially irresponsible?

@almostbulimictype2 I'm so sorry to hear this. I am T1 diabetic but I hold absolutely no judgement for T2s.
I totally agree with you, binge earing etc is an eating disorder as much as anorexia is. Have you considered something like Ozempic? X

No definitely not, I can’t imagine how relentless it must be to live with and have to manage day in and day out forever.

50% vote? Well as a T1, since near birth, no fault obviously, that is truly depressing.

No. I know people who have done everything by the book and have still lost toes etc.
But then I also know people who do not take their diabetes seriously at all. I know someone who is pre-diabetic and refused to go on the course that was recommended. He has said he will wait until he is Type 2, and get more help.

Isn't it just? 😪 I've been T1 since I was 3 and my little girl is also T1.
It shows how much misinformation is still about

This covers it eloquently- there is so much ignorance about Diabetes, both types, that judging someone’s medical condition is neither just or helpful. There but for the grace of God etc…

I must admit, through sheer ignorance until this thread I assumed it was reasonably straightforward to manage T1D. I'd never heard of 'brittle' type.

Thankfully this thread has educated me.

The thing is all the people on here being judgemental about type 2 diabetes and how its peoples own fault if they get complications are exactly why someone who is prediabetic thinks they don't need to do anything about it until they are actually type 2

Because if type 2 diabetes is easily reversed with a bit of a diet change and some exercise why worry about it until you have to?

If more people were willing to acknowledge that it is a complex condition with a myriad of causes and complications and spent less time talking about how its peoples own fault for being fat then maybe people would be more willing to take it seriously.

"I assumed it was reasonably straightforward to manage T1D. "

You have no idea. It's a shit disease. Invasive. You have to think about it 20-60+ times a day. Yes you aren't in constant pain. Yes, it's not terminal. It's not cancer. But it's a crap condition. Would you like to walk a mile in my shoes. Fancy 50 years of it? Nope. Thought not.

Realistically, most of us Type 1s are brittle - especially women with hormonal cycles. It's just diabetes tbh, it's what it does.

You can do the same routine day in day out, and take into account shifts like your period or it being a hot day or stress from work - and still things go wrong.

And people act like it's your fault, that you just need to work harder.

I don't think anybody is ignorant for not knowing about a disease they have no personal experience of, but I do think it would be better if everyone would stop jumping to the conclusion that the diabetics are Doing It Wrong somehow.

I was on Rybelsus from May until August . Lost two stone and my sugars stabilised . But due to supply issues my local pharmacies have run out!

But due to supply issues my local pharmacies have run out!

This is terrifying for people depending on these drugs to maintain decent numbers. Do you know when you will be able to get your meds again @AlmostBulimicType2 ? I'm so sorry.

Thanks. Diabetes nurse is saying about a year! 😫

Some people don’t look after themselves, for various reasons (health literacy, other life events taking precedence, etc). Some people look after themselves incredibly carefully and are still unlucky with complications.

There are probably more people in group 1 than in group 2, but if you have had T1DM for thirty years, you’ll rack up some complications regardless of how tightly you control it.

This- illnesses are complex things, humans are complex creatures with complex behaviours, it’s stupid to assume anything about someone else’s health- be that diabetes, cancer, asthma or AIDS.

I have an illness/disability which invites judgement from all and sundry- as well as the obvious ignorance leading to incorrect assumptions I think a big reason people judge is because it’s comforting to them-

they see ill and disabled people, it frightens them because on some level they know that these things could happen to anyone, and so they have to try and create a narrative in their heads where - those people over there aren’t like ME, they do xyz and that’s why they are ill, I’m much better than them because I never do xyz so it will never happen to me’

People often get really agro or accuse me of lying when I explain the reality of my disability- they really really don’t like the fact I’m an average Joe who had the same sort of lifestyle as them (and frequently actually much healthier)- they don’t want to accept that it could happen to them.

Sorry @nodogz i meant to quote someone else 🤦‍♀️

I saw a woman only around 20, pretty face, make up on. Wearing a nice dress. She was perhaps 20 stone maybe a little more. She had flipflops on. Her feet were in a terrible condition. They smelled bad. She will likely lose them in the future. I agree that if that if a 20 year old as described is literally letting part of their body decompose then they have more going on than just the diabetes that's causing it.

I went to school with a girl who was always a fat girl. Of course she turned into an even fatter woman as lots of people do who have struggled with weight from a young age. When the warning shot came and she lost a leg she didn't make any changes. She died and left 3 kids without a mother. She was under 30.

I'd judge just the same if she had starved herself to death. Or drank herself to death. Or taken an overdose of some narcotic, yes.

The fact is when most people say they want to stop but can't etc what they really mean is they don't believe anything will happen to them. Or believe in themselves and throw own ability to change things. They say, Once more, just one last time, I'll get clean/ start the diet/sober up, tomorrow.
I know how it works but the fact that people can and do regain control is testimony to the fact that saying 'what about all these things?' Is harmful and just reaffirms people's belief that they are helpless. They are at the whim of their disorder or addiction. That it's something bigger and greater than they are. And it feels good to excuse yourself, and your behaviour, I can't help it. It's all because of trauma' because my parents etc etc. At the end of the day while there are multiple contributing factors, most amount to little more than an excuse. People can change if they want to. People can regain autonomy of their body irregardless of condition. Thousands of others before them have. It's not some impossible task and shouldn't be positioned as one.

From a professional point of view, many people who are diagnosed with type 2 are not given adequate education on the condition, or are unable to fully understand the seriousness of complications.
So I don't think it is entirely always their fault.

I have a good friend (T2) who absolutely can’t get her head around what she needs to be doing/not doing and doesn’t understand what she’s told by the diabetic nurse. It’s further complicated by having IBS which limits her diet and means her symptoms flare up if she follows the diet she’s been advised to follow. She tries her best with her limited understanding of the ins and outs of everything. Its not always a case of do this and you will be fine. There are often unforeseen things that make it more difficult to manage it well

My Grandmother (she was 6ft and thin as a rail), sister (skinny all her life) and an aunt (tall and skinny) all fit and leading healthy lifestyles all developed Type 2 diabetes early in life so I knew I was at risk and mostly ate accordingly. My husband became diabetic 25 years ago so I have followed his diet all this time yet I was still diagnosed as Type 2 two years ago. So whilst some cases of this disease are self-inflicted it is not always the case.
Also, there is no "one size fits all" when it comes to diet and treatment. What spikes blood sugar in one person may not in another. It really can be difficult to control at times and complications can arise despite best efforts. That said there are certainly people who just carry on as normal in the face of such a devastating diagnosis and then wonder why they have dire complications.
PLEASE do not assume that all complications are the result of lack of self-discipline.

Type 2, a little, tbh. Type 1, not one bit. Completely different. There is so little in your control with type 1, incredibly difficult to manage.

But not everyone realises just how different type 1 and 2 are.

A friend with type 1 finally managed to enjoy a party without a trip to A&E afterwards (where she knew exactly what was needed and would usually direct the A&E staff to do) after she went onto a low carb diet.

Still really hard to manage it but that did make it a smidgen easier for her.

If it helps OP I don't think its diabetes specific.

I do get a lot of judgement from people about my asthma. I have it quite badly and it's brittle and so I have asthma attacks at work etc. I get told I need to get it under control, eat this, do that, go to the doctors (like I'm not already under the asthma nurse), exercise more etc usually by people who have never had asthma and know fuck all about it.

There are some people who genuinely think it you have a chronic condition or disability its because you are lazy and you need to be shamed into getting better - as we can see here on this thread

Oh and there's the small matter of the (several) people who have told me I would be able to drive if I just tried harder, knowing I'm partially sighted.

I think one of the problems is that we are told that T2 is caused by lifestyle and it is therefore easier to 'blame' those sufferers for causing their own problems. The issue there is that many T2 diabetic have not done anything to cause their condition. DH had to have his thyroid removed due to cancer. He was told beforehand that one of the side effects of this would be that he would develop T2 diabetes. And he did. He is fit, had always exercised, maintained a healthy weight , never smoked and rarely drank alcohol. Yet because he has T2 diabetes, people think they have the right to judge because they assume his lifestyle caused his condition.

@nodogz you are so spot on about people seeing poor health, especially around weight, as a moral failing. That’s so well put.