To cut ties

[Ninkynonkywoo]

Fairly long back story but will try to keep this short.

DP & I split up 7 years ago, we reconnected 5 years ago and I have 2 DC with him and 1 DC I had whilst we were separated

My youngest DC dad chose to not have any contact and what's nothing to do with him, my ex and his family have been amazing in treating youngest DC like he is one of their own.

However , there is an event taking place in December where MIL is having all the grand children but refuses to have youngest DC - this is a common occurrence and have pretty much been informed by another family this is how it will always be going forward so he will miss out on any trips away she does, sleepovers etc

Whilst I understand he is not related to them by blood, and he s always treated the same on birthdays etc, I don't know if I should stop DC calling them nanny etc because of this exclusion, I have no family myself so this is all DC knows and I don't want him to grow up to think this is normal but I don't know what to say as I am also grateful DC is not excluded on birthdays etc

Are you sure this is not a case of SIL shit stirring around the situation because she is in fact the one who disapproves? If its not the case i have to say all of my dc would be going or none of them would! If its a financial thing could you offer to pay for the youngest?

How can you force someone to treat a child that is not their grandchild like a grandchild though?

If the OP's DP wanted this child to be their child, they would have adopted them.

The fact of the split and the coming back with a baby is being kind of glossed over here, but it's likely to have caused significant hurt to the wider family. It's easier for the OP's DP to forgive and forget, but it isn't always easy for others in the family.

and if the OP and her Dp split tomorrow, the MIL would have no access to the OP's youngest, as her son wouldn't have to see that child, so she may be viewing it that way.

Op do you receive any maintenance from your ex?