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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a Solicitor shouldn't be allowed to do this?

59 replies

Moonlightbythesea · 21/10/2023 06:18

I can't go into all the ins and outs as I don't want to out myself potentially.

I'm involved in Court proceedings regarding unpaid child maintenance. Ex has a Solicitor acting for him, I can't afford to have one represent me, although hopefully I will be ok by myself.
As part of my case I've received paperwork, copied from the Court to both parties, and I'm truly aghast at how his Solicitor has slated me in a couple of her letters.

She has made a few points about me not being very 'stable mentally', words to that affect anyway. She doesn't know me, and besides. I guess she's just writing what my ex tells her to.
Can a Solicitor do this?
I thought Solicitors had to abide by a code of conduct, or as it's Court proceedings, is there such a thing as litigation privilege where Solicitors can get away with writing all manner of derogatory words and they can't be classed as defamatory?

OP posts:
Oopsididitagaintomorrow · 21/10/2023 08:56

Hi @Moonlightbythesea - a solicitor will write what they are asked to, within reason. Write a well worded letter refuting what has been said, be calm and precise and stick to facts.

As to Solicitors who lie, the SRA will investigate. A solicitor who used to work in my firm lied, the opposing solicitor complained to the SRA, solicitor was investigated, found to have lied, and struck off.

Original poster
Moonlightbythesea · 21/10/2023 09:01

junebirthdaygirl · 21/10/2023 08:29

Judges are not fools. They will be dealing with this bullshit every day and will see through it immediately. All these dad's who don't cough up are the same: there is nothing new under the sun.
Just go in with your head up and don't engage in anything but facts...no slating your ex so you hold your dignity. The more nonsense he writes the more he is exposing himself as a loser. Just take the high road. Solicitors are not always fair.
Remember in the next session in court that same Solicitor will be defending a woman who never got a penny and will be slating the guy. They just say whatever the client demands.
The judge will know.

I've kept factual in my own evidence paperwork, with no personal attacks and I'll carry on that way.

OP posts:
Original poster
Moonlightbythesea · 21/10/2023 09:11

Oopsididitagaintomorrow · 21/10/2023 08:56

Hi @Moonlightbythesea - a solicitor will write what they are asked to, within reason. Write a well worded letter refuting what has been said, be calm and precise and stick to facts.

As to Solicitors who lie, the SRA will investigate. A solicitor who used to work in my firm lied, the opposing solicitor complained to the SRA, solicitor was investigated, found to have lied, and struck off.

Part of me feels like I should complain, but then I would worry about possible repercussions, and I might not get anywhere with my complaint anyway

OP posts:
Imreallytiredandanxioustoday · 21/10/2023 09:22

BrandNewPigBag · 21/10/2023 08:06

Solicitor will be instructed by your ex. Whether she's good or not/handled it correctly is another matter but that will have come from your ex.

A judge likely won't just accept it, either. My ILs are divorcing. MIL and her solicitor have labelled FIL as the worst thing since Dr Crippen and her as a poor wee mouse. I think they expected to be believed and just awarded £££. The judge has asked her for evidence of quite a few claims about herself and her situation and has commented on a couple of things that seem unusual about the whole situation. FIL is a kind, shy, gentle man and he's willing to give her a very generous settlement to his own detriment- she's ignored all offers and attempts to settle and is pushing for something so tilted towards her that it's actually ruinous to FIL. The judge seemingly isn't convinced and is really unpicking it.

Oh that's awful. People baffle me sometimes with their selfishness

StopRainingOrElse · 21/10/2023 12:26

If this is a CMS tribunal you certainly don't need a solicitor to represent you. I don't think most of them even make it to a hearing which is probably online anyway. The judge will look at the evidence you both submit beforehand and make a ruling.

As long as you have told the truth on your CMS claim with regards to shared care and are behaving reasonably with access etc then I don't think the judge will pay any attention to this mental instability claim. It's just mud slinging.

Original poster
Moonlightbythesea · 22/10/2023 07:52

The Judge asked the other party to produce a lot of financial documents, and especially his bank statements from all of his accounts.
He has four different accounts that I know of, and I'd given the judge the details of the accounts.

However, the Solicitor has only sent off paperwork for three of those accounts, but said in her letter that she's sent all four off. Although I don't think she has as I'm sure I would've received it.

Our hearing is in three weeks, and I guess I should ask the Court to make sure I have all the paperwork, but that would mean them having to contact the Solicitor for the missing paperwork, which would add extra delay to me getting copies.

Should I ask the other parties Solicitor myself for copies or not bother as I might just be ignored anyway?

OP posts:
StopRainingOrElse · 22/10/2023 15:42

You could ask the solicitor. Worst they do is ignore you.

IDriveMySupernova · 22/10/2023 15:56

My ex’s solicitor wrote a letter in which I was told I lied about being raped (by another man). It happened several years before I even met my ex. So yes, they can and do. The judge is unlikely to be interested unless it’s backed up by compelling evidence.

Original poster
Moonlightbythesea · 24/10/2023 07:35

IDriveMySupernova · 22/10/2023 15:56

My ex’s solicitor wrote a letter in which I was told I lied about being raped (by another man). It happened several years before I even met my ex. So yes, they can and do. The judge is unlikely to be interested unless it’s backed up by compelling evidence.

That must've been awful for you, how they can get away with writing such things is shocking.

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