To ask why people think so little of care home staff?

[AMAcarer]

NC for this one

I'm a Senior Care Assistant in a Nursing home, I also previously worked in domiciliary care and support work. I'm extremely experienced, kind and compassionate, I know I excel in my role and I mentor my team to high standards BUT I'm at breaking point.

I could write paragraph after paragraph about how we are treated often by residents' family members, and how their expectations just simply don't match up to reality, and they never ever will unless by some miracle my 40 bed unit has at least 2-1 staffing ratios! So many of my colleagues are in tears during their shifts, being told their best isn't good enough (and many other nasty jibes) by family members or friends of residents.

Now, I know many have bad experiences with Care and Nursing homes, they don't always get it right. People are living longer including those with severe disabilities and impairments, than we didn't see reach these ages in the past. We are so short staffed, and cannot attract new staff due to the poor pay for the demanding role we do.

If Care staff are so utterly useless then why are we trusted with some of the most vulnerable people to look after? Why can residents' loved ones not see the bigger picture we face in the home? Why do they not trust what we communicate to them in terms of what their loved one needs? Why are we not deemed as being skilled workers or valued the same as others in health and social care?

What can be done to make us valued, and respected and our role recognised?

I know many people DO understand and we have many kind visitors to the home, but the overwhelming majority just seem to berate us at any given opportunity. We can't go on like this,

p.s The vast majority of people I work with, give it 100% to the people they look after, and of course whilst we are not immune from not getting it right, seeing people put their heart and soul into their job with such little appreciation is pushing the good staff away, creating even larger problems for all

The first day my mum was in a care home she deteriorated rapidly and was vomiting badly. I rang the call bell and both times the carer said we can't do anything switched the bell off and walked away.

It wasn't until the night nurse turned up that I demanded she do something and she called an out of hours GP. Mum was admitted to hospital within 3 days due to severe dehydration due to their neglect.

Sorry but the "care" I've seen leaves a lot to be desired. They were sitting around in the corridor whilst my mum was like that.

I'm a care worker in the community, I'm good at my job and my clients are really pleased when I call, but had plenty of visiting family members look me up and down. I'm sure they think it looks bad on them that it's us doing the care and not them. I don't think that all but one client did say her daughter gets sniffy when she comments on things we've done for her, so maybe it's partly this?

The carers in the homes which looked after my father and my mother in law (both with dementia) were wonderful. I still think of them with great affection, years after they both died. They brought such comfort and dignity to their lives and I will be forever grateful.

@ShellySarah I'm sorry that was your exprience but care staff aren't medical professionals and limited in how to treat something like this HOWEVER it should have been reported immediately to the nurse in charge of the unit. If they ignored the issue and did not report it then they fully deserved to be reported and started on a disciplinary procedure.

The vast majority of care workers are not neglectful.

If Care staff are so utterly useless then why are we trusted with some of the most vulnerable people to look after?

For many there is no choice.

I certainly can't care for an elderly relative with dementia who is at risk alone, I have already given my life to become a carer for DH and one of my DC. I have nothing left to give.

My experience of staff in care homes is limited and I would say many are fantastic but unfortunately for every good one there does seem to be one that's lacking.

With both Mum and Dad I was ALWAYS delighted with the care they received and gave excellent reviews.

It's a challenging career (I couldn't do it) and I have so much respect for all care workers

I think care home staff are amazing! What you do is incredible. Thank you.

@fisherhatesgravel I think you are right and there is an element of guilt at work. I do note upset when I see someone trying to give a resident a snack they no longer or enjoy, or bring them something they can't use, and we have to gently explain. It's hard to take on that you may no longer know your loved one as well as the care worker. Especially with dementia cases. It changes a person so so much.

Many people are just horrible. So a lot of residents will have horrible family members. Just like working in retail - lots of the public are just horrible.

I don't blame you for feeling this way.

It is really hard to see my mum in a nursing home in every possible way.

I do think that liaising and relationship building with families is a neglected area in care. We have no idea what to expect when a family member goes into care, even when we've done it before. There is too much requirement on managers to sell placements and not enough emphasis on honest communication and expectation management from the start.

I agree 100% that none of us really knows how to navigate the increasing numbers in extreme old age. I currently have my mother, my mother in law and my godmother in nursing care. It's a kind if endless nightmare. If I'm honest I think the sooner they all die the better. Which is why I don't work in care.

The carers at my MILs care home were wonderful. Just lovely caring people who paid attention to every detail and treated her with warmth and love.

My mum's carers are dire. Just dire. We're at our wits end. Appalling safeguarding issues in her care have been reported by other visiting agencies, but the carers just lie and get away with it. And no, we can't move her as she's run out of money and the council are paying.

I am so so sorry you are not respected in the way you should be. My mum is in a care home, at end of life, with advanced dementia.
I am humbled daily by the astonishing attention the carers pay to my Mum. They are so loving and kind and respectful and funny and energetic. And they look after me too while I mope around being sad, feeling helpless!
I have been in absolute awe of them all, and am so so grateful.
I do try to thank them every day, and remember their names, but if you have any idea how I can thank them, and what they would appreciate, please let me know. When Mum dies, I would love to give them some of her money (it's not much!) but I'm pretty sure that's not allowed.
The care staff I have come across have been utterly amazing.
Truly, you are astonishing, what you deal with and what you do.
And you should all be paid a lot more! It's crazy.

I admire you for your role and have a lot of respect. My great aunt is in a care home with dementia.

The fees are over £1000 per week. Every month there seems to be new staff. My aunt is often wearing clothes that are not hers (we always make sure they are labelled with her name on everything). I've lost count of the times she's got new hearing aids and they've gone missing within the home, so she isn't wearing them when we visit, that mixed with dementia makes communication almost impossible.

I know care staff work hard. I don't always feel my elderly relative is looked after as well as she could be, but don't know what the answer is. I think care staff should be paid more. My Aunt's life savings and sale of her house are going into care home fees but I don't feel she is getting "value for money" or that the bulk of these fees are going into care staff salaries either. Social care definitely does need to be reformed but it keeps being pushed back on the agenda.

I appreciate that, and understand that there is no choice and it's why we really need people to trust and believe that we can care for their loved ones.

Of course there is poor staffing in every profession, and it is getting harder and harder to recruit and keep good staff and large part of that sadly is the working conditions.

You've made an important point about how there is a lack of communication around what actually happens when someone goes into care, and each home is so different. Management often sell the moon on a stick, and promise things we cannot deliver. I have family members daily complain their parent must get a daily shower or they were told they can have a shower whenever they like, on demand, but with 40 residents to care for that simply isn't possible or even reasonable. Management aren't the ones trying to meet everyones need on a daily basis, working the floor has become alien to them.

The numbers of those in their 90s still living with extreme disabilities is actually quite shocking, especially those having life-prolonging treatments rather than having their symptoms managed and allowed to pass peacefully. Quality of life for many is non-existant.

I'm glad you've had a positive experience and sorry you've had a negative one.

There is people in the sector who shouldn't be there, or who aren't giving the role the effort it deserves. Often I find management are scared to lose the staffing as it isn't easy to replace them, but equally aren't fully ensuring they are applying their training or doing compliance checks.

I left working in care 12 months ago having worked in social care all through COVID and beyond (with no payrise for 3 years) and I can honestly say that the company I worked for asset stripped until the home was on its knees and most staff burned out.
In my experience working in social care is the same as any other healthcare environment. There are staff who do the minimum, staff who are adequate and others who stand out for their care and devotion.
Most care homes are businesses with owners who are wanting profits, and imho until this changes and staff are paid a decent amount, money is invested in the fabric of the building, equipment and staff training improves good staff will always burn out and leave.

Thank you for your kind words, and I'm sorry you are having to go through this with your mum. Staff are here for family too, and we try and be available and even if we can't chat, we always try and make sure a cup of tea and a tissue is near by!

Monetary gifts generally arent allowed but consumables such as tea/coffee for the staff room is always appreciated as are things like pens, little note pads etc
We've had things like a large fruit basket, a couple of tray bakes etc that have all went down well! Please do not spend a lot and know that even just a card is very much apprecaited! Thank you!

@Geilenk we’d love a dominoes pizza delivery! Or maybe a couple for different shifts. Management at my home sometimes order one for staff as a thank you.
@AMAcarer why can’t your 40 residents get a shower daily? Is staffing especially low there? We have 52 residents to 8 HCAs and manage showers/ baths for anyone wanting them. Is this not normal staffing levels (I’ve never worked in another home so curious)?

Retaining staff is incredibly difficult, and has been for a long time. Few people truly understand just how difficult the role is and the full extent of what we actually do. The pay and general veiw of the care sector doesn't make for an attractive job.

The care home should offer a labeling service, two homes I have worked in insist all new items go to reception and a detailed receipt is given to say they have been handed over, they are then collected by laundry staff. Items that are left in rooms tend to get lost/mislabed so please do ask if the home can offer something like this! Sometimes we do try and match unlabled clothes to residents but don't always get it right!

Hearing Aids and False Teeth go missing ALOT. Sometimes it is lack of attention on the carers part, such as not checking pockets or down sides of chairs and sometimes the residents will remove and hide or even break them themselves. This is very common with dementia residents who can be confused by the hearing aids or hate the feeling of false teeth. I would chat with the home about this and see if they can explain why the hearing aids are going missing. We use glasses neck loops for hearing aids for residents who sometimes take them out, if its safe to use the neck loop it means they still have them on their person and we can assist to pop them in when needed!

@4catsaremylife I agree the care home business being profit driven is not helping the situation at all. We need a National Care Sector.

One of the problems in our area is that all of the council owned homes have gone, as the councils didn't want to run them anymore. The social workers recommended a few homes, but they were all council run and on contacting them when looking for a care home for my Great Aunt, they said they were all closing and not taking any new residents.

So now they are obviously all private. I'm not saying council run were better than private or the other way around, but obviously profit must be a big factor in privately owned homes.

We of course do showers and baths daily, everyone gets a strip wash if they want one, but to shower/bath everyone just isn't possible. Many of our residents need 2 for transfers or would require 2 in the shower room or when they are in the bath for safety reasons. 40 baths and showers around meals, medication, activities and other care such as toileting just isn't possible.

We have 6 or 7 care staff and 2 nurses.

I think there’s a public perception - and I’ll be honest, I imagine it’s true to some extent - that, unlike a lot of vocational jobs, relatively few people actually choose to go into care work in the active sense because they love caring. For some care workers it’s possibly the only job opportunity available to them - hence why so many care workers are immigrants, have poor spoken English, have few qualifications etc. Which I suppose doesn’t help carework’s image, if the perception is that even the people who do it wouldn’t do it if they had more options. Which ultimately leads to disrespect and poor treatment, with family members assuming carers are stupid or that they’re doing a half-assed job.

I worked with an older people’s sheltered housing association for several years and met dozens of home carers. Many were great and had real passion for their work not just providing care but advocating for their clients. But many were there because it was a job and they didn’t have that many alternatives and did the bare minimum - if that. It was hit and miss and a constant source of worry and frustration for relatives.