To ask why people think so little of care home staff?

[AMAcarer]

NC for this one

I'm a Senior Care Assistant in a Nursing home, I also previously worked in domiciliary care and support work. I'm extremely experienced, kind and compassionate, I know I excel in my role and I mentor my team to high standards BUT I'm at breaking point.

I could write paragraph after paragraph about how we are treated often by residents' family members, and how their expectations just simply don't match up to reality, and they never ever will unless by some miracle my 40 bed unit has at least 2-1 staffing ratios! So many of my colleagues are in tears during their shifts, being told their best isn't good enough (and many other nasty jibes) by family members or friends of residents.

Now, I know many have bad experiences with Care and Nursing homes, they don't always get it right. People are living longer including those with severe disabilities and impairments, than we didn't see reach these ages in the past. We are so short staffed, and cannot attract new staff due to the poor pay for the demanding role we do.

If Care staff are so utterly useless then why are we trusted with some of the most vulnerable people to look after? Why can residents' loved ones not see the bigger picture we face in the home? Why do they not trust what we communicate to them in terms of what their loved one needs? Why are we not deemed as being skilled workers or valued the same as others in health and social care?

What can be done to make us valued, and respected and our role recognised?

I know many people DO understand and we have many kind visitors to the home, but the overwhelming majority just seem to berate us at any given opportunity. We can't go on like this,

Thank you for your replies and helpful hints, OP.

Our home doesn't offer a labelling service, unfortunately. I was a bit annoyed that no one would help me apply for Attendance Allowance (as the home obviously know all about what help she needs, moreso than me) but they would not help me.

I thought they would, as on other care homes' websites some say they will apply for and assist family with this, so thought this was the done thing! However, I still managed it successfully and was awarded the higher level for her thankfully.

I do take biscuits and chocolates for the staff when I can, next time and every subsequent time I will make sure I do bring some. I never want to risk bringing chocs etc for my aunt in case they caused choking or something to my aunt or another resident :(

I worked in home care and absolutely loved my clients and the job but some of the families were absolutely vile.

relatively few people actually choose to go into care work in the active sense because they love caring. For some care workers it’s possibly the only job opportunity available to them

That. My mum is in an extra care flat with domiciliary care provided by an on site care company.

Only one of the carers I've met in all the years she's been there, has shown any warmth to her in my presence, or any inclination to talk to me. They come in looking bored and fed up, and move around her flat sullenly. They clearly don't like their work, and do the bare minimum.

I do think that domiciliary care is a problem. Carers in a care home belong to a community with their residents. Their interaction with them isn't just about getting a task done in the few minutes allowed for it. They can sit and chat with them, or pass the time of day when they walk past.

My mum's carers come in, shove some bread in the toaster, put the kettle on, dump the plate and the mug on mum's tray and then leave, barely exchanging a word, and without a smile
My MIL got to have a proper breakfast at a table with other residents and a carer who facilitated feeding and chatted with her.

Yes I think it is guilt. Also frustration at the NHS being far too efficient at keeping people who are not really well enough to keep living comfortable live.

there ar so many things that can pop you off through your life but we are cured, rescued and revived so often that we just keep going on, and on until we can barely function.

it is a bit of a sorry state really.

I think most staff do a really good job and deserve more recognition .

My MIL was physically abused by a carer in her nursing home, her medical condition made her difficult and the carer took it out on her. It was investigated by the authorities but all that could be done was to sack the member of staff. Getting evidence from elderly residents, some with dementia, in pursuit of a prosecution was deemed to be impossible. I will never go into a home myself, residents are totally at the mercy of the staff.

My husband was in long term care for dementia for 2 years. I always made sure to greet the staff and talk with them, not about him. They were doing the care for him that I was no longer able to do. They may not have been perfect but I would never be able to do their work. When my husband died I sent them a card and told them how much I appreciated all they had done. They sent me a card and some of them said they would miss me. I’m sorry so many relatives treat the staff badly. I know it’s true. I saw it myself.

A central register for care staff might help, with wages in line with NHS staff who are much better paid for the same work.

To pay staff appropriately, local authorities need to be charged proper rates for care packages (the same amount fee paying individuals pay).

my experience working with the families of disabled people is very positive. I do find the work difficult at times, we have violent service users and there’s a real risk of being badly hurt shift.

A lot of carers, (where I live, I the North East at least) are literally forced to take the job, user threat of benefits sanctions. There simply are no other jobs - one supermarket vacancy can get 1000 applications (And is always given to a friend or relative of someone who already works there)
Bars and restaurants want students or immigrants to work zero hours "off the books"
Care work is about the only sector with vacamcies.
The job centre force people to take the job, and then staff are totally unsuitable - resentful, often very poorly educated (to the point of functional illiteracy), even disgusted by the work. It's very poorly paid, shift patterns are ridiculous, e.g. Work 24 hour shift, but only get paid for 15 hours because "sleeping in" but absolutely cannot leave the premises, can be constantly disturbed, but no pay. (Legally fine btw!!!)
It's not easy, it requires people who do see it as a vocation, but until pay and conditions match the actual work and training requirements, it won't happen.
It's soul destroying to be unable to do everything that needs doing because there just aren't enough staff, or hours in the day.

I was a support worker for 13 years until July working within a small LD home.
I loved it and the home/my colleagues are amazing but the families were so difficult we literally couldn't do right for wrong.
I suffered from burn out, chronically short staffed, no weekends off working long 14 hour days. I loved it but my family and personal life were suffering. I now still work in a healthcare type job but mon to Friday 9-5 much better pay.

I miss it very much but I couldn't continue. The system is on its knees and I believe we are not respected as a profession- seen as non skilled workers and looked down upon in society

The wages are not there- my employer was fantastic and paid as much as they could and still pay the highest wage for support workers in my area but it isn't a good wage.
I was so passionate about my job and was fortunate to work with like minded people. I've never worked in a big elderly home so I can't relate to you OP- there is more funding sadly in a LD setting.

I am considering returning on a bank basis as I miss it so much but my job now is so fulfilling and challenging but in a different way. I get to help shape someone's care and advocate for them.

My quality of life is great now- I see my children, I have a social life.
The negatives are I miss those I supported- it's like a period of grieving tbh. I still visit and keep in touch (they have capacity and decided they still wanted me to visit) however I'm careful to not visit more then monthly to allow their new staff to get that relationship with them. I am a part of their lives just in a different way now. They choose this.
Having done this for years I am always told you shouldn't get attached however I disagree, for me on a human level I care enormously and I always have got attached. Unfortunately that makes it hard when someone has passed away or I leave

It's a management problem, it's not you. My DH has been in care homes on and off for about 8 months. The staff are not informed about direct needs, which are essential ones.

I swear the people that run these places just accept clients because it pays.

All of the staff at my husband's current care home are lovely but nobody has told them what he actually needs. I don't blame them at all. Like I said, it's the manager's fault.

I'm sorry you have been made to feel so shit. On behalf of my husband and I - thank you

That’s really kind of you to think of staff. As you say money is not allowed to be accepted, but what about a donation to the activity fund? Funding a fish and chip night? Hiring an ice cream van? Doing up an outdoor area with a theme (seem a fab one recently that was a beach theme, sand, water, ceramic fish, ceramic birds etc for service user interaction and also an area done out as an old pub, complete with draft beer etc), having a singer come in? Money towards interactive screens? Many ways the money can be enjoyed by everyone, and provide happy memories and conversation. Ask the care home staff if there is anything they are saving for?

I had a wonderful experience of care staff looking after my dm. Thanks to them she had an extra two years of happy life: she was admitted to the care home from hospital, very unwell and not expected to live.
The staff literally nurses her back to life (it was a care home so no actual qualified nurses but wonderful carers).
They treated her like family (same for all their residents). In the last days of her life they cried with us, cuddled her when she was agitated and called for district nurses as soon as she needed more pain relief.
I honestly don't think they could have done anymore and I'm always thankful to the care staff.
I do realise it very much depends on the home and the manager but my experience was good.

When the elderly can no longer be looked after at home it’s often because the offspring don’t want the burden. They need to work but perhaps they could have the elderly person at their home and get carers to come in, most siblings are still fit enough to change incontinence pads, why should the carers be able to deal with violent behaviour but offspring can’t.
Elderly have falls -well they can have falls on the home ,they wander,change the locks.
it’s bad they criticise carers doing what they pretend they can’t.
My DM went into a home when she could no longer get about.
I could have turned my life upside down and cared for her , would have been physically very difficult and confined me to the house which I wasn’t prepared to do.
DMIL went into a home -there were 5 siblings -she could have spent time with them turn about but some were single men so it was not considered.
Carees deserve medals imv.

Because some are not suited, hence the need stories of cruelty.
because there can be a culture of neglect they is impossible to change - see also some nursing wards like the current stroke wards
because there is sch a shortage of care staff
because socially it is looked down on as unskilled, not that it is
beca there is often very little checks on what is actually done in domiciliary care
Because fees are so high for what is actually provided

It's not treated like a well respected profession. It pays peanuts and therefore sadly will recruit some people who are not for to 'care.'

It's appalling that we entrust the care of some of the most vulnerable in society to people on minimum wage.

Good carers like yourself, should be treated as the professionals you are, with pay and an opportunity to get qualifications to prove this.

The same is also true for nursery staf, child minders, teaching assistants etc. Crap wages for doing a vital role

Sometimes unfortunately that attitude is actually used on care staff by management.
I was a support worker when I was younger for adults with learning disability. One of our residents got quite breathless and I didn't like the colour of her. I shared my concerns with our level 3 and she said she was fine. This was early evening. I left at 9, and went again to say I was concerned, and it was only late night did they actually call an ambulance for the lady. I was 18 at the time and the woman in charge didn't appear to think that someone who looked after the lady every day would know there was something wrong with her. Thankfully she was OK, but it really opened my eyes, and I ultimately left the industry.

I work in a care home. Carer for 4 years and now have taken on a different role. It's extremely hard work. Huge amounts of money to stay there there yet not enough staff, not because they can't get them but because of money. All the staff are amazing. I've noticed we are getting more and more complex cases, more people with severe mental health needs especially.

However some family members really look down on us. Nothing is right even though everyone goes above and beyond.

Carers are paid so little, and yet so much is expected of them. My husband's basic care needs are met in his home. However, very few carers have the time to sit and talk with him, or to find out his interests and engage with him. Hence, he spends hours in his room, doing nothing.

The carers are paid little over the minimum wage and work long shifts. They have 18 people with learning disabilities, chronic mental illness and a high proportion with complex physical needs. My husband 's need for social interaction are not prioritised.

Until the role of carers is properly acknowledged by the government, and pay in the health and social care sector truly reflects the work that is done, we will have a care service that is, for many, perhaps something of a last resort for the worker and the client.

My husband's home is private. The group that owns it has bought a number of large and expensive houses to run as homes. They receive more than £1,000 a week per patient for the cost of care, from the local authority. The carers are paid just over the minimum wage. I get angry with the company, not with the carers. I am angry that my husband does not receive the quality of care he needs, and guilty because I cannot provide it. Perhaps I am not always a happy smiling relative.

Why didn’t the GP have her admitted to hospital straight away? If you were there with her, why didn’t you take her yourself???

Care homes are mostly privately run now, with a mix of self funding and state funded residents. They have to be because the self funders subsidise the state funded residents. Self funders pay around £1500 per week, the LA pay around £500. The care staff are paid very badly, but there must be so many other costs involved in just paying all the bills.

I loved working in care, but only for the clients and hope to go back into it (I can't at the moment because I can't work nights and my agency insisted on at least two a week, so I didn't get any hours) unfortunately a lot of families are dealing with carers that are burnt out. My agency would hound me on holidays, scheduled non availability, and I even received a call about covering someone when I was at a funeral for a previous long term client. Unfortunately the senior staff, the schedulers and managers seem to treat staff as robots, the families pick up on the that and the role is socially viewed as lower than mice.

Oh my goodness, my Mum is in a Dementia unit in a residential home and her carers are absolutely wonderful - I couldn't wish for kinder, more tolerant caring people to be looking after my Mum. I make sure I tell them this too.

I’ve found a lot of carers to be great, some to be average and a significant minority poor (I used to work in the industry). There care homes that are generally poor - and people have heard about those and cab be suspicious when their relatives are so vulnerable. Plus the fact, as you say, most people want loved relatives to have a level of personal attention that just isn’t realistic.

I think the PP that said we aren’t good at managing family expectations is right. I would talk to the nursing and management staff about this, and what could he done to provide info when a paitient joins and info about progressive conditions like dementia .
Things like the fact that the person no longer likes X, but seem to be enjoying Y need to be communicated like you would in a nursery. It shouldn’t be that difficult to do a very quick monthly report.

I’d talk to your management about a new system for all this, as part of telling the rellies about this, they could remind them that the care team works hard and any concerns should be brought to the nursing staff.