To think anti-depressants are no use?

[stilllill]

I was abused as a child and struggling to get over it. I always feel worse in winter due to issues with vitamins also. New doctor asked about my mood and I’ve told him I’ve had a low mood for as long as I can remember due to always living in an abusive environment.

He referred me to trauma counselling (obviously I’ll be waiting a few years for that) and said that I need to bear in mind some people do not have the capacity to be happy, and I am likely to be one of those people. That is a terrifying thought to me. My whole life I’ve been waiting for things to look and to feel better and now even the doctor’s saying that’s not gonna happen.

He suggested I go on anti-depressants, but surely that would mean I’d have to take them my whole life? And it won’t make me feel good, will it, just stop the bad? So pointless really?

I went through an incredibly difficult time around 15 years ago and was prescribed anti-depressants. They worked for me - I took them for 6 months and they helped me to get back on an even keel. I know you say that you have been depressed for a very long time, but maybe they would help you to help yourself to drag you out of the pit of despair you are in? I am only assuming you feel like that as it is how I felt. Surely it is worth a try? Otherwise you will never know.

You don't necessarily have to take them forever, they can help you achieve a better state of mind for dealing with your problems. I understand people's reticence but I personally found them very helpful

I am on antidepressants, probably for life. They manage my OCD symptoms well, so I’m ok with that.

Some people do not have the capacity to be happy? That sounds a lot like me but WTF is that professional of a doctor to actually be saying that? Is it true? I'm sorry, I have no advice-I'm wondering the same thing about antidepressants. I'm sorry about the awful experiences you've had, I hope you find something that works.

They are great but can be addictive, depending on the type. They've helped me but I've been on them for too many years and have had problems withdrawing, even gradual withdrawal.

I can't believe a doctor told you that you don't have the capacity to be happy. What absolute nonsense.

A doctor who has presumably seen you a handful of times for short appointments and does not actually know you very well has no place whatsoever saying that.

Please don't listen to him OP, he is not a good doctor.

The antidepressants are worth a try whilst you're waiting for therapy and you don't have to stay on them for life just because you start them. Give them a go and see how you feel - bear in mind there will probably be some side effects for the first few weeks that you might have to push through. Stick with it. You can always come off them if they're not helping but if you never try you'll never know.

Please don't write AD's off without trying them. yes, they may not work for you but I've been on 20mg Citalopram for over 10 years - I too didn't think I needed them but decided to try them for 3 months. They weren't a magic wand, things didn't miraculously improve overnight but gradually over a few weeks, the dark cloud that I was living in began to lift. I was able to work things through in my head again, and make those small changes in my life that helped me back onto an even keel. I've been off and on the same dose several times (never had any withdrawal symptoms) but have been on them constantly since April 2020 due to several massive changes in my life. I increased the dose to 30mg earlier this year to cope with the death of my partner last year as well as taking Vit D.

Anti depressants can be useful though it can sometimes take a couple of tries of different ones before you find the one that works for you.
Does it matter if you have to take them your whole life if they help?
How is it pointless if they " stop the bad"?
Are you still living in an abusive environment and, if so, can you do anything about that?

Your doctor, presumably a GP, had absolutely no right or basis to say that. What a cruel, and frankly wrong, thing to say.

Antidepressants don't help everyone. They do help some people but they aren't a cure all. It's your choice whether you try them or not, and there a are many different types.

I had been depressed most of my adult life up until 38 due to an abusive relationship which destroyed me. I was a shell of a person going through the motions and barely functioning without the confidence to walk away. My ex husband left and things got worse as I had been so used to living in this barely functioning life and everything I knew (as awful as it was) was ripped away. I spent a couple of years on citalopram, had counselling and my life changed inconceivably. I'm a totally different person now and very happy.

My new partner had serious childhood trauma he was dealing with and antidepressants and counselling have helped him rebuild his life too.

They don't work for everyone but in my experience they are definitely worth a try as they were enough to get us through to the counselling and to be receptive to that.

I’ve taken them for 25 years. My lif is horrible without them. I’m 59, I’m absolutely in them until the grim reaper arrives.

Does anything make you laugh? Or do you never laugh?

Inclined to agree- depending what it is someone is unhappy or depressed about. Tablets can’t bring someone back and they can’t erase memories. We’re all different and react to things in different ways. Some people can move on, they compartmentalise more easily, they’re stronger emotionally? I don’t know…
I’ve a friend who is unhappy and takes tablets, but she will never get back what she lost. She says the tablets numb the feelings somewhat and make her life bearable. She won’t have counselling. She has work and pets and says that gives her a sense of being needed and that she’s ok with that. Whether she will ever be truly happy again I don’t know.

I would try what you can OP, counselling etc. Something may well click into place for you, won’t know if you don’t try.

Yes, I'm the same. Just know I'm on them for rest of my life. No biggy but I can't withdraw without side effects. That's after slow withdrawal, under GP guidance. The hyperventilating is awful, when I'm not on them.

What your Dr said was absolutely unprofessional... You could make a complaint.

I do wonder though if you felt very hopeless in the conversation with your gp and were expressing things with great hopelessness, and your dr got caught up in this feeling too. Your hopelessness about anti depressants might reflect that.

It is hard to resist the hopelessness that trauma can leave you with, it's good that you're reaching out for help to do that, connecting with people is so important in recovering from trauma.

A/D's don't work for everyone but they enable a lot of positive change for a lot of people too. It is a bit of a gamble, but change always is.

Good luck.

I take them for anger management more than anything. Used to get terrible moods with pmt but worse than being grumpy, there's a name for it but forget what. Anyway, they keep me even and for me, that IS happy. I'm not high as a kite and probably won't ever be but I'm content which is a very nice feeling.

Look for a local charity specialising in abuse counselling, especially if it was sexual abuse. This is typically faster than the NHS although there will often still be a waiting list. For example try searching for "sexual abuse centre <town>"

I think the doctor was very ignorant and unfair to tell you that some people don't have the capacity to be happy. I don't think this is true. But trauma especially repeated or deep-seated trauma due to childhood abuse can be extremely complex and take time to process and recover from.

The ADs are worth trying. They won't undo the trauma, that's something you'll still have to work on separately, but they might give you some peace day to day and help you cope.

I'm really sorry for what happened to you in your past.

I wonder whether what the doctor was trying, in a badly phrased way, to say, is around research that some people are naturally say a 7/10 on a happiness scale, and some people are naturally a 4/10. It isn't that you don't have the capacity for it, just that you might naturally tend to be at a particular point on the scale.

As someone who used to be about a 4 and is now typically about a 7, it was kind of true, and also I made changes and am generally much happier with my life now, so it's not immovable.

Anti-depressants don't typically "make you feel happy", but they can relieve the suffering sufficiently for you to make lifestyle changes and/or have the capacity to process the trauma in therapy, and those things can make you feel happy.

How long you need/want to be on them is very person-specific, and also there are many different ones, which each work for different people, so there might need to be some trial and error. There not a solution for everyone, but many people find them helpful, so I wouldn't write them off before even trying.

Making sure your SHED (sleep, hydration, exercise, diet) are all healthy is a good basis for beginning to shift mood, plus getting out in nature.

Obviously it's not a substitute for therapy, but if you can't afford to go private, then there are charities which provide free counselling, so that might be worth researching. EMDR is typically said to be helpful in processing trauma.

If you aren't on ADs, some supplements can also help, such as 5HTP, which is a serotonin precursor.
I'm not going to say much about it, because it's good to do your own research and make up your own mind, but do be aware that taking it with ADs or serotonin boosting drugs can cause issues.

Hope it goes well for you, whatever you decide.

They worked amazingly well for both me and DH. I feel they saved my life and I think they're wonderful things! However, I do not have a background of abuse so I don't know how they'd help someone in your situation. Why not try them and see? They might help you get through the winters, at least.

If I didn't take my antidepressants I'd be twice as bad as I am. I know this because I stopped taking them when they stopped working. Then covid happened and I went on a different one. They haven't cured my mental health but I no longer walk under a permanent black cloud and can do my shopping without having a panic attack and can make a decision without having to ask my son to get me out of my glitch.

I genuinely think antidepressants and ECT saved my life. I was so depressed I ended up admitted to hospital with a section and was in for 3 months. Before treatment I was suicidal, couldn’t think enough to have a conversation with my son, couldn’t concentrate to read a book / watch a 20 minute TV programme, couldn’t motivate myself to brush my hair or teeth. It was horrendous and I will be forever grateful to the mental health treatment that got me well enough to enjoy family life and go back to a demanding job - I don’t care if I end up needing to take them forever, it’s infinitely preferable to being ill like that again.

And it won’t make me feel good, will it, just stop the bad? So pointless really?

I don't understand this at all. If it stops "the bad" then it's not pointless.

Anti-depressants aren't meant to make you happy. They're meant to alleviate negativity. Stopping the bad allows space for you to find the good. They're not a means of making your life great, otherwise nobody would ever be able to stop taking them. Their purpose is to take the edge off the awfulness of life so that you have the clarity to see things as they really are and possibly find a way to find happiness.

Anti-depressants saved my life.

Antidepressants have been a godsend for me. I can’t withdraw from them and I accept I’ll be on them for life (unless a different treatment is discovered). But I’m fine with that. They enable me to function.

Thank you everyone for your responses, they’re quite encouraging. I don’t know why but it’s only reading these responses that have made it click in my head that I can just try them, and see.

@TheLaughOfRustyLee yes things do make me laugh and smile! I am quite giggly honestly, and I do feel alright in those moments but I often feel even worse than before right after, which is strange.

@Wingedharpy It’a a strange one because I’m in the environment where the abuse happened, with one of my abusers, but she’s changed massively since I was young. I find this very difficult but I find being away from her more difficult.