To think anti-depressants are no use?

[stilllill]

I was abused as a child and struggling to get over it. I always feel worse in winter due to issues with vitamins also. New doctor asked about my mood and I’ve told him I’ve had a low mood for as long as I can remember due to always living in an abusive environment.

He referred me to trauma counselling (obviously I’ll be waiting a few years for that) and said that I need to bear in mind some people do not have the capacity to be happy, and I am likely to be one of those people. That is a terrifying thought to me. My whole life I’ve been waiting for things to look and to feel better and now even the doctor’s saying that’s not gonna happen.

He suggested I go on anti-depressants, but surely that would mean I’d have to take them my whole life? And it won’t make me feel good, will it, just stop the bad? So pointless really?

So sorry for all that you've been through. I also had an abusive and traumatic childhood that has left me with lifelong issues and permanent low mood / anhedonia -or- reactivated PTSD.

I've tried lots of different types of medication and for me, personally, none of them helped. With the exception of sleeping medication which I take daily. I just came off one antidepressant after a few years, realising it wasn't improving my mood whatsoever and was possibly making me slightly less alert.

I've been off it a few months now and there's been no difference in mood whatsoever. My memory has slightly improved and my eyesight has slightly improved and I feel less sluggish in the mornings. No idea what any of that implies.

My personal stance after all these years is there's nothing a person can 'take' that removes the pain of trauma and that we have to constantly battle to try and do things to combat it, find new things, force self to go for walks for example, eat healthily, whilst also being gentle when we can't function. The biggest improvement ever happened for me was becoming totally sober and never ever drink alcohol.

yes things do make me laugh and smile! I am quite giggly honestly, and I do feel alright in those moments but I often feel even worse than before right after, which is strange.

I'm so glad to hear that. It also shows that you are capable of feeling happiness and frivolity. Maybe you feel low after laughing if your body isn't hanging on to the serotonin produced? An SSRI might help with that. I felt numb for a couple of months when I started sertraline (which was actually a relief from feeling anxiety and depression), then slowly I got my sense of humour right back. It's the nicest thing in the world to be able to laugh uncontrollably again. Only happens once or twice a year but it's LUSH!

Utter trash! Complete poppy cock! Honestly what the heck! Get a different doctor for a start. There’s so many cool psychologists/therapists online to look at. Have a look into acceptance and commitment therapy. Take the tablets if you need some headspace as it does give you a small window in which you can work with a therapist. Spend time with supportive, loving people. Moods are transient. Life is fleeting. No one is ever fully happy, humans will always suffer but absolutely no one can tell you that you will never be happy. Even that doctor will only ever be here once so will never know your life and how you will get passed this difficult stage but you will. Get the treatment you need.

Read up on codependency/enmeshment. What you are describing is a well understood effect of trauma.

The doctor is talking rubbish, good trauma therapy is life changing.

There are a lot of different types and no they won't erase your trauma but if you find the right one it could ease symptoms of depression while you wait for therapy.
You could trust try them, but be prepared to try a few before writing them off. I only respond well to 2 less common ones so it took trial and error.

Some of us are not ashamed of taking them for life and are bloody grateful for them thank you very much.

I honestly believe antidepressants stopped me from killing my self. I’m still on them 4 years later but I’m happy. It’s just life is hard and they help me cope.

100% agree.

I was given them following a stillbirth but I felt absolutely horrible on them and rather stupidly went cold turkey after a few months. It was as if all of my feelings and emotions were just dulled. They didn't help me at all, the only thing that helped was confronting my grief head on and dealing with it. And that took me a long time. I'm also very aware that diet, sleep and exercise all have a massive effect on my mental wellbeing.

My Dad died earlier this year and this time I started seeing someone straight away via the hospice he was in. I'm still sad, and feel that my mood is low but it isn't anything that a tablet can remove for me. It'll get better in time, and that gets me through the dark days. I've walked 5 miles today as well because that helps me enormously just to be outside and in the light.

I equally appreciate that we all cope in different ways and I'm not saying that they're wrong for anyone, they just were wrong for me.

You can come off anti-depressants as long as you are symptom-free for 6 months. They do work wonders for people and, in your case, may be a good short-term solution while you are awaiting therapy.
But even if you do have to take them for the rest of your life, this is also OK if it helps to improve your quality of life. Many other conditions require regular medication and mental health is no different.

Different people respond to medication in different ways.

For some people anti-depressants are a life-saver.

For others they make it 1000% times worse.

You'll never know which one you are until you try them.

My DH wouldn’t be here now without them.

They were life changing for me, helped me live a fuller life without depression, increased my resilience and helped me work through some issues in some ways. I’ve lowered and raised my dosage according to need. I like to use the minimum dosage I can to feel alright

They can and so work but ... they are a chemical you are putting into your body that has side effects try different therapy first if you can

In contrast to some others in this thread, my first thought when I read your original post was 'oh wow, a GP who actually gets it' (as stark as it would have been to hear). It seems to be quite different to have grown up in a traumatic environment than to have had a relatively stable background but be dealing with traumatic incidents. Like, I've had CBT and I do appreciate the principles – but also it's a relief to read that people with similar early experiences have different brains, and it's not just me making "thinking errors".

It's great that other posts made you realise you can just try antidepressants! Good luck with it, it would be so great if they help you.

Like what? No everyone has side effects and often they are used alongside therapy.

This ‘chemical’ being put into your body is just bollocks. Everything you eat is a fucking chemical at its base level.

@Offcom The comment shocked me because I instantly thought that if this is the ‘happiest’ I’ll ever feel, that makes me feel pretty bad about the future But I’m glad it helped you out a bit :)

Oh, completely! I mean, it DEFINITELY could've been worded better. . .

Agree
Silly thing to say.
Of course you can be happy.
I've not been on AD but I had 2 close friends who have.
They didn't seem to help , but I have heard of people being on them very short term, so just to get over the hump, so to speak.
The right therapy would certainly help.