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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be absolutely fuming at my son

58 replies

Healthkick · 16/10/2023 19:54

His friend stayed last night. I couldn’t find my toothbrush today. Turns out it was in his bathroom - he allowed his friend to use it. I feel a disgusted but so angry. Not sure if he should be grounded or just the friend never stays ever again. He’s 12.

OP posts:
rainbowunicorn · 16/10/2023 20:05

You are really overreacting. You are going to find the teenage years very hard if this is how you react to something fairly minor.
Get your son to pay for a new toothbrush and calmly explain again why we dont share toothbrushes.

Icopewhenihope · 16/10/2023 20:08

Huge overreaction! Unnecessary grounding.

itsgettingweird · 16/10/2023 20:10

Healthkick · 16/10/2023 19:57

Yes it is. But it’s more than that. It’s really really upset me. They had to come into my bedroom, then my bathroom to take it. Disgusting g.

Yes it's discusting.

But they are 12! I very much doubt they thought it through beyond needing a toothbrush.

In fact - I'm impressed they even thought to brush their teeth!

SiousieSoo · 16/10/2023 20:10

MrsBungle · 16/10/2023 19:58

What a massive overreaction! Just get a new tooth brush. They’re 12.

Absolutely. @Healthkick this is a very very strange attitude. Children of 12 do not think of consequences in the same way as adults. This was not an intentional act to upset you. You really need to calm down. A minor transgression is disgusting, making you feel sick? Really over the top.

Steev · 16/10/2023 20:10

Don't be daft. Just get a new one

BettyBunMaker · 16/10/2023 20:37

I'm sure the 12 yo friend must be more traumatised than you!

DaftQuestionForToday · 16/10/2023 20:59

Yuck!!!

im surprised two 12 year olds thought that was a good plan.

id just be glad they hadn't put it back!!

as pretty much everyone has said though, just talk to him. Your room/ensuite is out of bounds always/with friends over & explain how gross it is to 'share' toothbrushes & put a pack of new ones in his bathroom.

end of, no need for punishment or whatever.

wintertimeisbest · 16/10/2023 21:00

This is a joke its a bloody tooth brush.
I have spare ones i can send you one .
Getting him to buy you a new toothbrush get a grip its a toothbrush.
Grounding him over a toothbrush YABU.
Get one from tesco for for 80p.

FofB · 16/10/2023 21:02

Yep, as another poster said- 12 year old brains aren't anywhere near fully developed yet. Thinking ahead as to what the consequences might be? Probably not. Mum's got a toothbrush and it's about 20 steps away? Yes!

You need to have a talk with him about your space but only when you have calmed down.

19lottie82 · 16/10/2023 21:02

You are overreacting a LOT.

Just explain to your son that sharing toothbrushes isn’t hygienic. Buy another. And unclench.

Fionaville · 16/10/2023 21:02

I would be repulsed, but even I think this is hilarious! It's definitely something I'd look back on and laugh. After buying another toothbrush obviously. Don't be too hard on him, he's just a kid.

Mydogmybestfriend · 16/10/2023 21:04

Wtf this is beyond disgusting 🤣

wintertimeisbest · 16/10/2023 21:15

Some parents i just dont get.
Sound like he has an entitled mom.
Disgusting/fuming he must be grounded over what being 12.
For the sounds of it your be having a funeral for a toothbrush next.
FFS you need to grow up more than your son does.

TheOccupier · 16/10/2023 21:16

Ugh. Why didn't the visitor use your DS' toothbrush? Seems odd to have gone looking for yours.

NotesApp · 16/10/2023 21:18

For the sounds of it your be having a funeral for a toothbrush next.

I can’t stop laughing at this.

iLovee · 16/10/2023 21:19

I'm confused, did you use the toothbrush after you found it? If not surely just buy a new Toothbrush/toothbrush head and move on?

saltinesandcoffeecups · 16/10/2023 21:20

Well at least you knew someone else had used it 😁 better than the day I was living a house with some dubious characters and found my toothbrush in it’s normal spot but wet! yes it went straight to the trash.

Get a new one, have the talk about respecting both privacy and belongings and buy a new one and some spares for guests.

This is one of those things you just need to convince yourself it was the one and only time it’s happened and nothing will convince you otherwise.

Valerianandfoxglovesoup · 16/10/2023 21:22

He's a 12 year old boy. They are pretty disgusting generally, it's not as if he has been deliberately naughty or hurt someone. I'm aghast that this would make a parent angry, maybe a yuck comment or a mild.piss take but fuming? Punishment? Quick handy tip for you: don't ever go into his bedroom unannounced for the next 5 years or so. You may have to put him up for adoption 😀

InSpainTheRain · 16/10/2023 21:25

Massive over reaction. They are 12! Brace yourself for the teenage years!!

Valerianandfoxglovesoup · 16/10/2023 21:26

Totally forget what I said, I thought he used DS toothbrush. He used yours? Put him up for adoption immediately. You will also need to burn the toothbrush and possibly your entire house, there is no precedent set for something this gross. I am so sorry, this is the most repulsive thing ever. A teenage boy used your toothbrush? That is truly something that makes me feel nauseas 😵

toadasoda · 16/10/2023 21:27

Did you use it afterwards before you realised? Otherwise i can't see why it's so gross.

I'm sorry you feel this way but it's good you came on here for a sense check. Just tell him not to do it again. Honestly I wouldn't bat an eyelid about this but I know certain hygiene related things don't bother me as much as other people.

Createausername1970 · 16/10/2023 21:28

rainbowunicorn · 16/10/2023 20:05

You are really overreacting. You are going to find the teenage years very hard if this is how you react to something fairly minor.
Get your son to pay for a new toothbrush and calmly explain again why we dont share toothbrushes.

Edited

This.

Hold on to your hat, you are in for a hair-raising few years 🤣🤣

Hankunamatata · 16/10/2023 21:33

I'd find that quite funny and actually be impressed his friend wanted to brush teeth - mine are toothbrush dodgers.
Just buy a new toothbrush or head if electric.
Iv started keeping spare toothbrushes in cupboard for sleep overs and pjs and pants as teens are super forgetful

Hankunamatata · 16/10/2023 21:33

Chuck it in some sterilising fluid?

TeaGinandFags · 16/10/2023 21:53

12 year old boys are the walking breathing definition of gross.

Then puberty hits and they spend years in a thick green cloud. Don't even get me started on their trainers ...

Threaten DS with unimaginable violence if he does this again and make him fear for his games console. It won't have an effect but you will feel better.

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