To wonder why some posts are dived on

[chessica]

Fairly straightforward post and I have been dived on. Same happened to me a couple of weeks ago (different usernames to this … I change often). I’ve seen it happen countless times to other people usually those who are clearly anxious over something and then they get mocked about it or other derisive comments.

Why do people do it? Do you think it’s just a boredom thing? Or people think they can, since they’re anon? It seems worse on here and on chat and a lot more constructive and supportive on some of the other boards. I’m not going to trot out the ‘be kind’ as obviously it doesn’t apply to all situations, but why go out your way to be mean?

I think Chat has pretty much the same vibe as AIBU now and the other sections get very little traffic.

Agree

‘Well people won’t be able to answer without an eg of the thread’

oh, we’ve all seen it! And maybe even done it… hers mentality, a couple of people go in hard then others start piling on.
it’s often the most innocuous posts IMHO not controversial topics at all!

I’ve used MN on and off for around 12 years now and witnessed this a lot, it’s just pack mentality I think. I’ve posted on here a few times and received genuinely very helpful advice so it isn’t all bad but it must be horrendous when everyone turns on you. No wonder OPs disappear from threads.

Right now I'm thinking about posters with ASD getting pelters for something NT posters don't understand. Fucking shitehawks.

I’ve posted a few threads which have been bitchy and have stated what I get to/family etc get up to. DB and my boyfriend are both in film and tv. DM used to be in advertising when younger and auntie was a successful 70s model. I swear there’s jealousy at times because some sad little bitches here have boring 9-5 jobs with DC.

As DB and boyfriend know, film and TV isn’t glamourous at all, DB is currently trying to get out of it as it’s long hours and working from home. Auntie currently living in Paris partly to escape psycho ex husband.

sad little bitches

Nice.

One person starts it... all the rest of the pack pile on to back them up

Tattle has been around a long time... You need to go on there to understand .... One poster takes the mick and links a thread then they all pile in on the unfortunate thread creator.

Tattle is an interesting place. I've been lurking there a while. I haven't heard of most of the people they're discussing but the tone is largely the same all over. If you're the outside object of the thread, they're absolutely vicious. But within themselves and to each other, they're lovely. Even when they disagree with each other, they do it in a civil way. Flame wars and posts are rare.

It's almost a kind of reverse MN.

It’s annoying when people don’t read beyond the ops initial post and still keep piling on, well after the op has agreed they were being unreasonable.
Mumsnet is full of sanctimonious priggs that are just waiting to put someone right for the slightest misdemeanour ( in their eyes).

Well, to be honest that’s what I call them. What would you prefer?

Some people evidently just enjoy having a safe, anonymous, nasty little go at someone else.
You get some on just about every forum. I often think they’re probably the types who wouldn’t dream of saying such things to anyone in RL. Pathetic, really.

Actually, agree with you about Tattle. Yes, they can pile on and abuse people sometimes but if there is unfair abuse relating to eg weight then other Tattlers will more often than not, not stand for that.

A lot of Tattlers do seem to be lovely within themselves, I’m just a lurker there, but did used to post for a short time a while ago.

Watch Olivia attaward Vs trolls.
I say my opinion and go haven't got time to be arguing with internet warriors over my opinion

I'd never heard of Tattle but it sounds absolutely awful. Why the fuck would people come together to slag off someone they don't know? (If I'm getting that right?) That just sound pathetic in the extreme.

On the OPs point, I agree it can be weird which threads fall victim to a pack attack. I've posted once or twice where I've been fairly light-hearted and uncontroversial and recieved some seriously vicious responses. Once where I used the word 'naice' slightly tongue in cheek and no one responded to my actual query, just slagged me off for being a terrible snob 🙄

Tattle is weird all they do is talk about other women vaginas and how they imagine it smells. Bunch of weirdos on there

This. Yes, absolutely some people are jumped on, but there is also a not insubstantial minority who are clearly completely unaccustomed to having someone robustly (but civilly) disagree with them, and experience it as an unwarranted attack.

Often the first reply will say something horrible, and then others just flock down the same path like sheep. You see it often if someone is worried about their husband going missing on a night out, and they will get called controlling, even though surely anyone would be worried if they hadn't heard from a family member who hadn't returned long after they intended to.

But another aspect is that trolls are rife on MN, and yet it is 'troll-hunting' that is frowned on. So many people will troll the suspected troll right back, because they cannot outright say "This is a troll, stop trolling".

I'd recommend people reporting if they see the same names doing this to others. It's often the same people, and they're just mindless bullies with too much time on their hands.

Yes @ChristmasFluff The first horrible reply can set the tone. They ignore the OP and derail the thread with their own agenda.

I reported someone last week who does that a lot. It deters people from posting threads, and the OP will usually disappear, having been upset.

It’s generally (though not always) better in Relationships, which is good at least. My worst ever was in Mental Health, where I hoped people would be kind. Reader, they were not. I had the thread deleted eventually. I was super worried about memory loss (which turned out to be genuinely attached to a neurological problem).

I was piled on because of something I had forgotten to do, which had potentially serious consequences, but which fortunately hadn’t ultimately caused any harm. If I’d forgotten something unimportant, I wouldn’t have been so worried, so it wasn’t that I didn’t understand the seriousness, but there were quite a number of posters who bullied me over what I had almost done, as if this was something I could have helped, had I just tried harder.

I still post looking for help periodically, but usually regret it. It’s pretty sad really, given how good the information that is shared can sometimes be. I wish that Mumsnet would clamp down a bit harder sometimes, certainly outside of AIBU and especially in places like Mental Health. Shutting down my thread with zero consequences for the cruel posters who took away my hoped-for source of help was a very negative result.

Jealousy, bitterness, using an internet forum as a way to express resentment they would never say in real life.

The more negatively vocal posters on this forum are likely to be the meekest and quiet in real life.

The more angry the poster, the more I pity them to be honest. If the only activity they find to do is being nasty online, they must be beyond bored and frankly have no life.

It is sad when they pile on against someone who is genuinely struggling, asking for help, and really doesn't need abuse.

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

I find once a thread gets beyond a couple of pages people don't read previous answers, they just add their two pennyworth. Often this rehashes something you have as OP already responded to. I had a thread recently where the last 4 or 5 pages were mostly the same 3 or 4 obsessed people posting 13 or 14 times each, getting more and more irate that I had stopped responding to their points, which to be fair were the same points earlier posters had made on page 2 or 3 and which I had then responded to.