I think I'm being unreasonable, but I wanted some feedback.
So the current situation- lived in council house for nearly two years. Moved here from another area when DD was 2 as it was dire where we lived (drug dealer upstairs, loose dogs, fights outside the flat, neighbours making malicious reports to social services and council on me and most neighbours everytime they got a chance- mine was because my DD bumped her head and had an egg). Was glad to find this house to swap to, however it's starting to get really hard here.
I don't drive and am basically at the top of a hill and the bus route I'm on is the one most affected by the bus driver shortages. The other day it took me three hours to get home instead of 30 minutes from town, as the bus didn't show up after an hour and then had to cross town to the train station and wait 45 minutes for a 4 minute train journey and then had to walk up the very steep hill in the dark with a poorly DD in her buggy (had taken her to the walk in centre for antibiotics as it was a weekend). I'm going out less and less with DD now as it's so hard to get home when the buses are cancelled and they don't announce cancellations anywhere . I can pop out alone during school hours as I can walk back half the way and get a different bus half the way, but DD has suspected autism and doesn't walk far for very long (paediatrician says with autism pain or discomfort is more heightened so a slightly hard walk or ache is unbearable for her). DD is not quite 4.5 and petite and I have some physical difficulties since giving birth which make pushing a buggy uphill really agonising (fibromyalgia, hypermobility and seperated abs).
There's nothing in my area, at the top of the hill other than a small children's park, and a corner shop- ten minutes walk away. There's a butcher ten mins walk away but I'm veggie and talk of other shops being built at the end of next year, but nothing confirmed.
As a result, going anywhere is like a proper mission and I feel like our social life is declining. I don't take DD swimming or just to see friends in town or pop out any more, unless I know I've got enough for a taxi home as a back up. Mentally I feel like this all takes up so much space and I'm supposed to be job hunting for a job which fits into school time but I can't think straight and keep wondering 'but what if there's no bus to get back and pick DD up'. I waited about 45 mins for a bus to pick her up when I had to go into town the other day, but luckily I put her into after school club as I knew there would likely be problems. The buses are timetabled every 15 minutes. We can't be spontaneous or anything, ever. I've been stuck in the woods once with her in the rain when a bus didn't show up for an hour after we went to a nearby garden centre event. I paid 18 in a taxi to come out and get us and take us home. The event was only down the road but as it's countryside there was no pavement to safely walk back home on. The bus company didn't reply when I emailed asking for compensation. I'm not in a position to drive anytime soon, as I'd need a job and I'm getting depression from it.
So I've put an advert out for a house swap. I couldn't afford to privately rent anywhere off this hill, so I'm limited to choose from who I could swap with. So far, I've only had offers from towns 15 minutes drive away, but about 30 minutes by bus, including walking to the bus stop. However, there's been one which has really caught my eye. It's by the beach, opposite two affordable supermarkets, has a leisure centre literally next door, cafés, a soft play next door. The woman is very very keen to swap and sounds legitimate. She wants a garden and has a flat. I'm honestly not worried about losing my garden as it's extra work anyway for me atm and we would have the beach and a big park opposite. There's a lot more for us to do and I could walk around after school with DD and have places to go, things to do and people to talk to.
However it's the school situation which is killing me over the decision. DD started school six weeks ago and LOVES it. She loves her teachers and asks to go every day. Obviously I know she would be leaving her teachers anyway next sep to move to a new class but she's so attached to them already. She's really good at making friends and loves the routine. She's also on the SEN register and they so far seem to be supporting her. It would be a 40 minute commute to get her to her school from the new place and that's assuming the bus shows up on time. However I think they cancel day time buses more than the commuter ones. Obviously I know we couldn't maintain the commute for very long and would eventually have to move to the school near the swap flat (right next to it as well). The other thing is that a couple of girls are already picking on DD and the school haven't been able to nip it in the bud, so it would be good to get away from that situation. However, despite the 'mean girls' as she calls them, she loves everything else about school and they're supporting her needs to an extent. Maybe I could move, get a job in the supermarket opposite, and use my wages to learn to drive and then it would only be a 15 min commute to the school.
I really don't know what to do. The holidays are depressing as anything as I feel so stuck.