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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

(Lighthearted...but not for the mugs 😢)

34 replies

PrawnBhunaandaFlirtini · 16/10/2023 06:48

Aibu to stop making a cup of tea for my husband in the mornings?

I get up earlier than he does (me 6am, him 7.20am). I get showered and dressed, then I make us both tea at about 6.30am. He then doesn't drink it as he stays asleep till 7.20am by which time the tea is cold, so he microwaves it. I didn't know this till recently when catastrophe struck 😉 and he broke a mug by microwaving it.

Aibu to stop this madness for the sake of the mugs?

For clarity, he also makes me tea especially on weekends. The mug in question was a reasonably new, allegedly microwave safe mug fro John Lewis

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 16/10/2023 06:50

Stop making him tea when he isn't awake.

Catsmere · 16/10/2023 06:51

I wouldn't bother pouring his tea, just set it up and reheat the kettle later. Tea that's been nuked after getting cold never tastes good to me, and I'm an unpicky drinker of teabags!

scrantonelectriccity · 16/10/2023 06:51

Why are you making him tea nearly an hour before he wakes up every day? It takes a minute to make can't he do it himself?

SaracensMavericks · 16/10/2023 06:52

Tbh the mug should have been fine (we often put mugs in the microwave and I've never known one to break). But no need for you to make a cup of tea for him every morning- it's not exactly a big deal for him to make one himself.

Bearcub101 · 16/10/2023 06:52

If he doesn’t wake until 7:20am
why are you making him tea at 6:30am? Madness!

Original poster
PrawnBhunaandaFlirtini · 16/10/2023 06:53

It's a nice gesture and he likes me making him the tea even though he then drinks it reheated 🤢. Should have said he still wants me to make the tea if I have time and inclination. This is not tea being forced upon a poor sleepy man

@Catsmere, yes! This is what I'm going to do

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 16/10/2023 06:56

It would be a nicer gesture if you made the tea at 7:10.

Original poster
PrawnBhunaandaFlirtini · 16/10/2023 06:57

I'm already half way to work by 7.10

OP posts:
happylittlesloth · 16/10/2023 06:57

Nah he can make his own tea!

FoleyHuck · 16/10/2023 06:58

DH makes me morning coffee daily, and if he's going to work early or I'm not working so it'll be a while before I'm awake to drink it, he puts it in a flask and leaves the flask and a mug beside the bed.

Up your game OP WinkWink

itsallnewnow · 16/10/2023 06:58

We have a really good thermos flask that stays hot for hours! Leave one of those next to his bed?

CurlewKate · 16/10/2023 06:58

I'd keep making the tea. Dp and I do this. If one of us doesn't for some reason, the proper response is a plaintive emoji filled text wailing about "No tea!!" "But you never drink it!" "That's not the POINT! I like having it!!"

Labradoodlie · 16/10/2023 06:59

Another vote for saying you need a whole new tea making schedule. What you’re doing now is crazy!

GarlicGrace · 16/10/2023 07:15

I voted YABU because it's bonkers to give someone tea an hour before they need to wake up. Now I've seen that not only your DH, but other people's too, actually want cups of tea they don't drink - and some people leave a thermos for their sleeping partners! YAAB (you are all bonkers) ☕

Pinkglittery · 16/10/2023 07:29

Can you make it in a travel cup? Dp has one that keeps it hot for ages.

anunlikelyseahorse · 16/10/2023 07:39

Can you get an insulated teapot? We have a coffee pot that keeps it worm for a couple of hours, made at 7am still warm when I'm back from school run just gone 9.

Mmhmmn · 16/10/2023 07:42

Get him a thermos mug with lid and put his tea in that so it’s still hot when he wakes up.

YouLetDougalDoAFuneral · 16/10/2023 07:43

I'd also get a travel mug. I know people are saying stop but my DH makes me a cup of tea every morning and it honestly makes me feel so loved, it's stupid but it does!

UndercoverCop · 16/10/2023 07:45

Contigo westloop or luxe , it'll still burn his mouth by the time he wakes up. If you're happy to continue making it

DustyLee123 · 16/10/2023 07:47

Buy a microwaveable mug ?

dontgobaconmyheart · 16/10/2023 08:00

I can't grasp the logic of preparing a fresh hot drink for a person who is asleep and not getting up for an hour or so. Who would even prefer a reheated tea to a fresh one when it takes a minute to make and involves no real effort.

Can't you just leave a mug on the side with the tea/sugar in, if anything needs to be left at all.

Catza · 16/10/2023 09:09

Get an Emsa cup. It keeps the tea hot for about 8 hours. I think it is lovely that you make him a cup of tea and I wouldn't stop. My ex made me a cup of tea every morning and it is a lovely memory, even though I similarly had to warm it up if I managed to sleep through him leaving for work.

Original poster
PrawnBhunaandaFlirtini · 16/10/2023 09:14

Thanks for all the comments!

I did the teabag in The mug beside the kettle and a biscuit beside it this morning, but I think he missed the actual tea. He does wake up to say thank you but then goes back to sleep.

It doesn't really make sense as I hate reheated tea too, but itus nice having someone bring you tea in the morning!

OP posts:
Funkyslippers · 16/10/2023 09:19

I do exactly the same for my OH every morning. He reheats it later. I'd rather have a freshly made cuppa personally

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 16/10/2023 09:22

I make my DH a coffee in the morning whilst he’s awake and he still drinks it cold. 🙄 I agree with the thermos suggestion.

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