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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to feel extreme embarrassment at my behaviour when drunk?

57 replies

Ohdearohdearohdeme · 15/10/2023 17:47

Woken up this morning with the dreaded beer fear at my behaviour when drunk

please tell me it gets better and the embarrassment goes away after a while. Thought I’d left these days behind

OP posts:
Zanatdy · 15/10/2023 18:21

I used to drink too much in my 20’s and 30’s, then a serious unrelated health condition put a stop to it. I have 1 or 2 now now and again. I can now see how bad my behaviour was when drunk, I never knew when to stop. The paranoia was awful

FridayImInLove1 · 15/10/2023 18:26

Honestly, I don't think that's too bad really. You will feel much better in a day or two. But it is worth considering whether ur better off without the booze altogether on these occasions. It can be such a downer afterwards, which we can do without as we get older!

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 15/10/2023 18:31

Don't be so hard on yourself as your mind will be overthinking and that with feeling drained and wrecked. Have a long hot shower or bath and eat something and relax on sofa with a blanket all cosy and watch something that always makes you laugh. If you haven't watched it yet watch Peep Show. One of my favourite as they have no filter and just love it. Think is my 3rd time to watch in few years as always cheers me up.

Good you said you will not drink for a bit, was there things on your mind before you went out or did you drink more than usual or something you do not usually drink. Just look after yourself and tell your daughter not to worry either. It probably plays out worse in your head if you are feeling bit hungover.
Be different if it was someone close in your life family member or friend and that would be call for an apology but it is exes so don't worry. Least you are self-aware and mature about it all and know it is not like you.

Nowherenew · 15/10/2023 18:41

Firstly, you need to apologise to the people you said those things to.

Secondly, I’d make a joke/apologise to the people you went out with.

Thirdly, you need to give yourself a break. What’s done is done and feeling guilty about it isn’t going to help.
Just don’t drink as much in the future.

Baffled1989 · 15/10/2023 18:46

I go from hero to zero so quickly these days. I’m a happy drunk but embarrassing at the same time. And should someone say something I can never hide my face!

squashi · 15/10/2023 18:49

Relate to this, and agree with others about trying to let it go. Have to say though, one of the reasons I gave up drinking was that awful low/anxious feeling it sometimes produced the next day.

Thedm · 15/10/2023 18:49

It’s one thing being a drunk teen or early twenty something, but being a drunk parent and going round saying “my girl has loads of boys after her, ha on you for finishing with her” really is just too far and ridiculous behaviour. Take this as a wake up call about your drinking because everyone in your daughter’s social circle will be looking at her and thinking how pathetic her mum is. Take this from someone who had a mum who drank too much when I was a teen.

Babochan88 · 15/10/2023 18:50

I used to get terrible hangxiety even if my behaviour wasn’t all that daft. Given up the booze now and feel great and have also realised I actually hate being drunk

hollyblueivy · 15/10/2023 19:03

Honestly that doesn't sound too bad at all and you're probably overthinking it with the natural hanxiety- done be too hard on yourself we have all been there

bonzaitree · 15/10/2023 19:05

Ive been there and it’s awful. I have a lot more control over my drinking now. It came be done.

Original poster
Ohdearohdearohdeme · 15/10/2023 19:06

I hope it’s not that bad and just gets forgotten or laughed about! I really did mean it in a jesting manner

OP posts:
NeelyOHara1 · 15/10/2023 19:08

But was it, in truth, a case of 'in vino veritas'...?

Libertass · 15/10/2023 19:14

If there was one thing I learned during my time in the hospitality industry, it’s that alcohol doesn’t agree with everyone, and that some people who are perfectly reasonable sober turn into complete arseholes when pissed.
If you are one of the people who alcohol disagrees with, OP, there really is only one way forward. Stop drinking, permanently.

NotTerfNorCis · 15/10/2023 19:21

It depends what you did? I get The Fear badly still, but it really depends on the circumstances.

Ladyj84 · 15/10/2023 19:53

Nothing worse than seeing a drunk tit in an adult

Hereiamguys123 · 15/10/2023 20:30

I don't drink at all now, in part due to the fear.

I also think that people who have a habit of saying mean things to people when they are drunk should stop drinking too. I had a friend who was as nice as pie until she got a few drinks into her and would turn on everyone. We talking about it, she apologied but kept doing it and so I had to back away from the friendship. Not talking about you, OP, just generally. Alcohol can be a very toxic force in a lot of peoples lives.

Original poster
Ohdearohdearohdeme · 15/10/2023 20:34

Thedm · Today 18:49

It’s one thing being a drunk teen or early twenty something, but being a drunk parent and going round saying “my girl has loads of boys after her, ha on you for finishing with her” really is just too far and ridiculous behaviour. Take this as a wake up call about your drinking because everyone in your daughter’s social circle will be looking at her and thinking how pathetic her mum is. Take this from someone who had a mum who drank too much when I was a teen.

this is my fear! I’ll never ever do it again

OP posts:
hotcandle · 15/10/2023 20:38

I'm going to be honest. The embarrassment might go away for you, but other people will remember.

I'm a firm believer in drunk minds reveal sober thoughts.

A neighbour made a show of themselves at a recent party at our house. It was terrible. She tried to sweep the comments under the rug and apologised profusely, but myself and other guests have ended the friendship since.

I've no time for adults who can't handle their drink anymore.

ThinWomansBrain · 15/10/2023 20:41

if you genuinely feel embarrassed about it, you wouldn't be posting about it here

Original poster
Ohdearohdearohdeme · 19/10/2023 09:00

hotcandle · 15/10/2023 20:38

I'm going to be honest. The embarrassment might go away for you, but other people will remember.

I'm a firm believer in drunk minds reveal sober thoughts.

A neighbour made a show of themselves at a recent party at our house. It was terrible. She tried to sweep the comments under the rug and apologised profusely, but myself and other guests have ended the friendship since.

I've no time for adults who can't handle their drink anymore.

trust me I still feel awful this won’t go away as I feel like iv effectively ruined things for her! Not sure how I will ever forgive myself for this. Never considered for a second that this would happen I still feel so ashamed

OP posts:
Original poster
Ohdearohdearohdeme · 19/10/2023 09:11

No I don’t think it was I really don’t know why I said it

OP posts:
teaandtoastwithmarmite · 19/10/2023 10:10

It will get better op so hang in there but honestly I have done and said some stupid and horrible things when drunk and I gave up alcohol for good almost a year ago now.

Original poster
Ohdearohdearohdeme · 19/10/2023 10:21

I have made the decision to as well as I’m so mortified I would do this

OP posts:
Original poster
Ohdearohdearohdeme · 19/10/2023 10:22

I just hope this doesn’t affect her too much in the grand scheme of things.

OP posts:
Milarky · 19/10/2023 10:27

Ah OP was just about to post about being "that" mum. Think we all had friends who had a pissed mum.

However I can see you're mortified so won't rub it in. Just learn from it and hope your daughter forgives you in time.