what have i done wrong ???

[sazb]

hi there everyone,ive suffered depression for many yeARS now,but reasently felt better,untill a so called friend decided to cut me of completly,we were friends for over 3years and she emailed me,(which i thought was discusting as we were surposed to be best buddies) saying she couldnt make tomorow at all.il explain; went docs few weeks ago they refered my to hospital. and had a hospital appiontmant come through, and i invited her to dinner the day of apointmant as she says she would kindley come with me for moral surport,then as i said had this email saying all this,but was very confused so emailed her etc and said so.she say i dont give a shit about your feelings im feeling shit and basiclly dont want to know.its made me feel bad as a person,as i really dont know what ive done,and really as made me feel of no worth,i feel so angry and hurt,does it mean im a bad person.i really just dont know.im crying all the time,my partners so angry that she could do this,as its made me phisicly ill(sorry about spelling)just could do with you letting me know what you think.

Oh no!! Thats an awful thing to say to you.
Did it come totally out of the blue? Whatever could have made her say such terrible things to you? You are not a bad person so dont think that.I would steer clear of 'friends' like that -- seriously who needs enemies?
((Hugs))

thanks my love.well yeh it was a total shock as i only spoke to her two hours previous to this and everything was fine.or so i thought.thanks so much,i think im best to stay clear.xx

wow that seems totally unreal then. DO you think you caught her at a bad time? I mean it just seems totally out of the blue to suddenly come out with such stuff. Do you think the email might have gone to the wrong person? I am trying to think of 'excuses'.

no as she replied to me several times i tryed to say look im here for you etc etc,but still got the same responce baciclly f off.

Message withdrawn

in that case, take a deep breath and step away.
You dont need friends like that. You have ME and all the friends here on MN

How awfull!!

Agree with squimlet, you really dont need friends like that, maybe you should just stay well clear for a few days and then maybe you could email her asking if youve done anything to upset her, although it doesnt seem like you have

Your not a bad person

dont take her actions as a reflection on you as a person

she maybe is feeling depressed herself also maybe feeling worn down all you can do is tell her your there for her if she needs you and leave it at that

but seriously in the mean time think if you want someone that unreliable and nasty in your life

but by no means are you a bad person she obviously has issues at the moment that she may choose to share but if she doesnt dont let her actions set you back

ive had so called best friends just drop me like this and it took me a little while to try and understand but all i come up with was i'm too good for them as i would respect someone better than doing hat

and that sort of negativity i can do without in my life

so i hope you manage to feel better and realise it has nothing to do with you as a person but she is the one with a problem

big hugs to you at least we have mumsnet lots of friends id rather have no friends than fake friends xx

thanks squimlet that does mean alots
meggleache yes but over a year ago.and she said that there was nothing wrong and she was fine just busy,so accepted that .but she never told me to basiclly f off,as she dont give a sh~t.i did think i thought about others ,and have always tryed to be a good friend,but maybe not good enough tidytink i really genuinlly dont know what ive done.if i did it would be more understanable.i think maybe ive been to much of a walk over, just want to say a big thanks for your kind responces it really does mean alot

Did she actually use the words 'fuck off'?

bubblagirl i think i was writing as you were.im so slow on pc, you know what you are right,xxxx

seriously I have been there with this. I had a whole group of friends drop me like a stone just becuase....I never found out why and quite frankly I dont give a monkeys.

I had my then boyf of 4 years write me a 'dear john' letter telling me that he hadnt loved me for our last year togeather blah blah blah two weeks before we moved intogeather. Know what I did? I decided that I was not going to beg, cry or fester, I stood up, took a step back and walked away - no fuss . IMO if a man wants me then great but there is no way on gods earth I will go begging to someone to take me back - call me selfish..lol

dont try and figure out what you have done wrong as it is her that has done wrong

i remember i had best friend and we were inseperable and then she just stopped talking to me i would phone text as i couldnt except why she done this when i stopped feeling sad i felt angry

and then decided that i didnt need someone in my life that could treat me like that must admit never really opened up to anyone the same since but still i know it wasnt me some peole dont respect others the way we do

and i dont need someone like that even if they have reason totreat you like that i would rather a friend talk to me than take it out on me and if that is how they will act i dont it

just concentrate on yourself and remember you are the good person here and you dont need her whatever her reasons if you feel there valid if she does respond then i'd think carefully before allowing her back in your life

remembr some of us are too nice its not such a bad thing but wasted on certain people hope you feel better soon x

beaniesteve,the words were i dont give a fuck about how you feel and carnt deel with you now??? but i dont know where it came from.if you know what i mean:0

well.... maybe, just maybe she flipped because she has some problems of her own? Were you contacting her a lot, seeking help, etc.

perhaps she's stressed about something, perhaps she thinks you rely on her too much?

squimlet you poor thing so your living proof .you get on with it and come out all ok.thanks my lovely.bubblagirl omg you have hit the nail on the head so to spek.thanks hun.you all great.where are you all from? xx

i'm from brentwood in essex

beanie no not at all if anything id be having the kids for her when she needed me to.and only phoned and text when she did to me if you know what i mean.if anything i was there for her when she phoned and there was a problem especally wth the kids.xx

bubblagirl im from banbury oxfordshire.i tell you what yopu have got your head screwed on.

always been surpotive of her thats why i carnt understand,if shes needed me to have all the kids etc ive been there,i surpose thats why i carnt understand.

i'm one of them peole i have a friend who i classed as a best friend we still talk was inseperable when she wanted something or had nothing better to do now has been weeks since i saw her properly months since our ds have played together

i just class her as a friend and dont go out my way for her anymore

choose your friends carefully and stay strong have to go will catch up with you tomorrow but stop torturing yourself over her stupidity if you didnt see much of her anyway and felt used your bettter shot of her find some real friends who will appreciate you

take care night night xx

thanks bubblegirl.you so talk sence,and thanks all of you for such lovely messages.im of now to.as have to get up earlie wth my lovely little 3year old boy charlie.nght nht speak tomorow glad theres some lovely genuine poeple out there.xxxxxx

Been there too sazb, it's rotten. My best friend since school was supposed to be my bridesmaid. Went round on the Friday for a takeaway pizza and a chat about dresses. She gave me a pressie and a card with silly poems in it saying how much she was looking forward to it and how we were such great friends...

Got a phone call on my mobile on my way home from work on the Monday. She didn't want to be my bridesmaid, she didn't want to be my friend any more. She didn't like the way I spoke to her and made fun of her. We both had the same sense of humour btw and the way I spoke to her (in jest) was exactly the way she always spoke to me and always had done. I have no idea to this day what I did wrong. Have only seen her once in Tescos since and it was terribly awkward.

Came to the conclusion that some people are just weird and we should let them get on with it. They are no great loss. Please don't let it affect you, I'm sure you did nothing to deserve that. Forget her.

sarahjct thanks,it looks like im not the only one whos been through this,thanks,ive now came to the conclusion,shes not worth bothering about,so will not even bother anymore,just be same on the kids as my dds and her lo used to be great friends,he keeps asking when he going to see him.i just said hes poorly at tha moment as really dont know what else to say as hes only 3. xx

i meant to say shame not same