Binned off for beer!

[Frazzledandfried]

DP has always been a bit of a party animal, can never leave until the end of the night, most of the times we go out I drive and he gets pissed.
Often out way later than agreed, never sorts a lift out (we live rurally so taxi/public transport not an option). In the earlier days of our relationship he failed to come home several times, or would ring me at 3 or 4 in the morning asking me to go and get him. We have 2 DC aged 2 and 4 now and admittedly it hasn't been so frequent but he still loves a beer and will often ring while he's out saying he won't be home when he said he would be and then not getting home til the early hours. We've been out this morning getting the DCs hair cut, and arranged that his parents would come over tonight for takeaway. He asked if I minded dropping him off at the rugby club for a few and he will come home when we go and pick up the takeaway. No problem, see you in a few hours.
He's just rung me and said one of his rugby mates wants to stay and watch the world Cup rugby game which doesn't start til 8 so did I mind of he stays out instead. I reminded him we have plans with HIS parents and he said yeah, they won't mind if I'm not there. I'm pissed off and told him yet again he has binned us off for beer.
AIBU to feel let down and pissed off? Every time he goes out this happens. I wouldnt be so bothered but he was away Sunday and Monday night with work and worked late the rest of the week (genuinely work and no suspicion of any infidelity) and we've hardly seen him.

I was never like this because as mums we just aren't but I never knew the end of a night out abs never wanted to go home. I gave up alcohol for good a year ago and feel great now.

Totally agree with this. He knew full well the rugby was on tonight. He's done this on purpose.

My exh was like this. An alcoholic, everyone's friend. His answer was always going down the bar. Once I did drop the kids off with him at the bar, and go out myself,.

I was told I had humiliated him. So fuck that, I left soon after.

Don't let his addiction ruin your family. Even your kids can see he prefers beer to being a dad.

ITS NOT OK, LISTEN TO THESE ANSWERS.

Show him this thread. If he reads it and still thinks his behaviour is acceptable, then you have a big decision to make.

Did you tell his parents?
I would have a serious word with them about this and how unhappy it's making you.
If my sons wife said that to me I would have a very very serious word with him

'Even your kids can see he prefers a beer than being a dad' this is very important op.

As I read your thread I was thinking my ex was like this when I was pregnant and if we were still together he would probably be like that now. However as we are apart, when he does see our son he really makes an effort to shower him with adoration (easy to do when you have 6/7 dyas and nights a week free to party etc) so my child might be spared from feeling this way. Just a thought and one that you should
Share with your DH

I'd phone his parents and make it absolutely clear that their dickhead son has chosen beer over seeing them. Tell them not to take it personally on your part but his behaviour is becoming a problem and you're tired of enabling it.
Then stop enabling it. Stop giving him lifts to the rugby club or wherever. He is an alcoholic.

I hope you're okay @Frazzledandfried

I would also second the advice to chat it over with his parents as you have a good relationship with them. You need to call this out with him and make your boundaries clear. My dp very much changed his attitude about leaving the pub to come home early, when he had to face coming home to no-one. Now he appreciates that the so called "mates" who would knock him for being "under the thumb" didn't actually have happy relationships themselves - duh! I hope your dh develops some fore-sight, but he needs a big wake up call. Sadly it may get worse before it gets better.

He needs to grow up. The time to do that was 5 years ago when your first child was born.