Catering for a vegetarian?!

[Magenta3]

My brother's gf is a vegetarian. We're having everyone over next weekend for a get together. My family eats a lot of meat and I feel a bit unsure of what to cook her, and if I'm being honest I don't see why we should change our catering for one person.

I asked my brother to bring along some of their own food for her (he eats meat so will be fine, it's literally only for her) and he seemed annoyed at me. He obliged but I could tell he wasn't happy. When we've been to theirs she doesn't cook meat for us so it feels one sided. She jokes she'd probably poison us as she doesn't know how to cook meat but realistically she doesn't want to cook it, so why should we for her?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/lentil_and_chickpea_31510

This is my go to vegetarian curry recipe for a crowd and it's a big hit with both meat eaters & veggies. I skip the mango chutney and if I don't have spinach I use green beans, aubergines or whatever veg I have.

OP, I'm going to come at this the other way and say this is a fabulous opportunity to explore foods you've been missing out on. Indian food is a great example of a cuisine that's substantially vegetarian (and indeed vegan) naturally, so there's no weird substituting required to make an absolutely banging Indian meal that's suitable for a vegetarian while also being amazing for everyone else. I used to make a whole curry feast for my birthday every year and at most I'd maybe make one curry with optional prawns - the rest was all veggie options and it was always great. Madhur Jaffery has tons of really interesting vegetarian recipes which was usually my starting point.

Yep.

I haven’t read the whole thread and don’t intend to, just OP’s posts and am PMSL at her wondering how to make curry vegetarian. I mean, it is literally the national dish of one of the countries in the world with the largest populations of vegetarians, to the extent that Indians talk about “veg” and “non-veg” dishes rather than “meat” and “meat-free”- the default is vegetarian!

https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/bombay-potatoes

https://meerasodha.com/recipes/daily-dal/

Totally unreasonable

20 years ago it would have been difficult to get something ready made from the supermarket. Now though you can walk into most supermarkets and pick a few things off the shelf that are vegetarian, its not difficult.

Indian food has a lot of vegetarian dishes, so its even easier for you. You could pick up a ready made dash and Bombay potato dish if you don't want to cook lots of dishes

Jeeze this must be a troll post, curry is one of the easiest things you could do and make something veggie for her, same sauce just put a small amount aside and mix with mushrooms or potatoes instead of meat. If your worried you may not be able to boil a potato in curry sauce instead of chicken, you probably shouldn't be hosting dinner parties.

I'm veggie and I can remember back in the day being made to feel 'odd' if I was out to dinner. Nowadays though veggie is pretty main-stream. If you are scared of cooking vegetarian, buy a lovely vegetarian pie from M&S, present it nicely on a plate for her and serve it with the same vegetables as everyone else is having.

The idea of inviting someone round to your house as a guest and expecting them to bring their own food because you can't be bothered catering for them seems like the opposite of hospitable to me. It just seems so mean spirited. A big part of having someone to your house for a meal is to all enjoy sharing food together around the table.

I would either enjoy finding an appealing vegetarian meal we could all enjoy or, if you can't cope with a meat-free meal, plan something where people can eat different things without making a song and dance about it. Prepare several different dishes for people to help themselves from - think mezze or tapas kind of thing, or a barbecue with some meat but also veggie kebabs, halloumi and interesting salads.

You sound a delight!

Why is it up to her-the veggie- to cater for the meat eaters?

Op's brother could do that!

Could she not have some wafer thin ham?

well said. Days of overcooked lasagna or a meat dish without the meat just lots of boiled veg and potatoes.

please ignore all the posters telling you to add quorn to whatever curry sauce you're making to add meat to!
there is plenty of protein in things like lentils and chickpeas.

i'm a bit mystified about why you say you plan to serve "rice and poppadums and veg" with the meat curry - do you mean plain vegetables served without any flavour/spicing? that's very unusual.

why not try making at least 2 veg curries to accompany whatever you normally make? (and don't just make enough for the gf; i can guarantee that most of the rest of your guests will invariably want to eat them as well! (which actually means the entire meal could end up costing you substantially less as veg ingredients are much cheaper than meat - win win).

if you need some inspiration, i'd second another pp's suggestion of Madhur Jaffrey's recipes: eg https://thehappyfoodie.co.uk/articles/10-quick-and-easy-vegetarian-curry-recipes/

Asking a guest to bring their own food is incredibly rude unless they are on an extremely specialist diet (which vegetarian is not!)

You should cater for your guests, if you don't want to cater for her then tell her she is not invited.

You don't have to cater to her food choices but don't expect her to come round often if you make her feel unwelcome, and by extension your son. If he marries her/sets up home with her she'll remember how unwelcoming you were and that will colour your future relationship with your son and potentially grandkids...don't be a twat about it, you'll regret it

Yanbu

Can she have wafer thin ham Barbara?

Poor girl. Just get a packet of veggie sausages and serve them with the veg/salad you are giving everyone else. Your poor son, having to make his gf feel bad by bringing food. You sound very unpleasant.

Gosh, just tell her you don’t like her and can’t be bothered to make an effort and have done with it. At least that way she can avoid an awkward encounter wasting her time with mean, rude people.

You don’t really get the idea of hosting do you, which is supposed to be about creating a welcoming space so all can enjoy themselves. It’s only vegetarianism for gods sake, not like a 50 it’s long list of allergies and preferences.

I think catering for a vegan or someone with allergies can be extra work (I’d still do it as a one off though) but catering for vegetarians is pretty easy, especially if you’re making something like a curry.

FFS, just buy an M&S vegetarian curry, it's not difficult.

“Only on Mumsnet” 😆😆 This really is a special kind of stupid.

It takes a particularly thick or nasty (or both) person to assume someone morally against eating meat simply “can’t be arsed” to cater for meat eaters. If you’re going to someone’s home for dinner, surely it’s someone you actually like and care about? Why would you want them to cook something that it goes against their beliefs to cook - and that in all likelihood they won’t know how to cook? You’re really saying you’d be that desperate for meat in a meal that you’d take the risk of food poisoning, even if it you don’t give a shit about how much your host will hate cooking it?

It's disturbing that there are such selfish and ignorant people out there, with no regard for themselves even if not for others.

https://thehappyfoodie.co.uk/recipes/max-la-mannas-one-tray-green-curry/

Just read back the thread and tbh you come across as very rude OP! I feel sorry for your brother and his gf. You are really behind the times to be unable to cater for a vegetarian - it's not a complicated or unusual dietary need.

Can't you see how saying things like 'it's literally just for her' and 'I don't see why we should change our catering for one person' is really not going to make your guest feel welcome?

When we have guests in our house we cater for all of their dietary needs. I just can't imagine doing anything else.

She doesn't have to cook meat for you because meat is optional in your diet. You don't need it. Vegetarian is the default because that's what everyone can eat.