Page 15 | To think that a RECEPTION teacher shouldn't have said this ???

AutumnalPumpkin · 2023-10-14T10:16:29+00:00

My daughter goes to a catholic school (it was the only school available to us) we are not a religious family, but it does not bother me that she is being immersed in religion. After all, she will only make her own mind up later in life anyway. But this is relevant. They use god in almost every part of the day, and in all aspects of learning. As those who are not religious will know, we and a lot of others view god as "made up" or a myth, if you will. Now this brings me to where I have a problem - her reception teacher has picked up on some of the class talking about unicorns. A typical 4/5 year old thing... and has proceeded to tell them that Unicorns, fairies and dragons etc are all made up, and do not exist. This is absolute insanity to me!!? They are 4/5 and all have wonderful vivid imaginations. We regularly take my daughter to "the fairy forest" and she immerses herself into it and tries to find clues to where the fairies could be hiding, and loves to think that at nighttime all of the magical creatures come out to play. She's now come home saying that it's all untrue and they are made up. I'm actually really upset about this. How can you push the belief of god, and they go all out for Santa etc. but actively shut down the belief of magical creatures ??

Middleagedmeangirls · 14/10/2023 14:38

We are Catholics. Our D.C. went to Catholic schools. My godchildren now go to the same school. It's nonsense to say that denial of fantasy and magic is a Catholic tenet. They believed in fairies and Santa and unicorns as long as they wanted to.

That being said I don't think it's wrong for the teacher to have said what she did. Children can still enjoy the fun of fantasy and magical creations without believing they are cold hard facts.

AGovernmentOfLawsAndNotMen · 14/10/2023 14:39

Maireas · 14/10/2023 14:31

Interesting. I'm in my 60s, raised RC and never heard of that, but it could have been a local practice.

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Possibly.
Both my parents are Catholic lived in Ireland till their 30s and whilst they said it was talked about in school and church they never bothered to take the pledge.
Other relatives did.
Not the same school, church or even county though.

FrancisFriedFish · 14/10/2023 14:40

Yes, but God is made up too .

Original poster

AutumnalPumpkin · 14/10/2023 14:41

I have just questioned my daughter further and was told that there were 3 pictures on the board.
A typical fairy, a typical dragon and a typical unicorn picture.
That was there when they came in in the morning and it appears this was their "talk time" which they have to start discussions each morning.
After asking the children to speak about what they see, they were told they don't exist. I'm not sure whether this is better, neutral or worse.

OP posts:

Original poster

AutumnalPumpkin · 14/10/2023 14:41

FrancisFriedFish · 14/10/2023 14:40

Yes, but God is made up too .

My lips are sealed 🤐

OP posts:

Verbena17 · 14/10/2023 14:42

@AutumnalPumpkin

I’m with you - I think it’s cruel.
However, I certainly wouldn’t have been sending my child to a Catholic school - I just don’t believe there wasn’t another option. You can apply to other schools, even if they’re miles away. Your DC is only 4 and therefore does not have to be in school full time until the term after their 5th birthday and so I’d reapply and move her.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with letting young children believe in fairies, magic, unicorns etc. I also don’t believe that all catholic schools are like that. The teacher might not even be Catholic - a certain percentage of staff have to be. Your child’s teacher just perhaps isn’t letting kids use their imagination.

Middleagedmeangirls · 14/10/2023 14:43

@Testina

we are Catholics and quite a few of our family and friends are Pioneers, an Irish Catholic organisation that requires members to be 100% alcohol free. They take it very seriously.

LolaSmiles · 14/10/2023 14:43

Yes, but God is made up too
Everyone is free to believe what they want about God, but if they're going to object to faith and God being taught in a faith school then they probably need to find a different school.

I have just questioned my daughter further and was told that there were 3 pictures on the board.
A typical fairy, a typical dragon and a typical unicorn picture.
That was there when they came in in the morning and it appears this was their "talk time" which they have to start discussions each morning.
After asking the children to speak about what they see, they were told they don't exist. I'm not sure whether this is better, neutral or worse.
It sounds like a basic discussion task about mythical creatures.

AGovernmentOfLawsAndNotMen · 14/10/2023 14:45

Minnie68 · 14/10/2023 14:16

We will still do the tooth under pillow thing as a kind of cultural tradition but I will say “some people believe in fairies but most people don’t.”

I remember being told there was no such thing as Father Christmas and learning about death. Both are memorable as they knocked me for six as a child. We plan to tell our little one about Santa but we intend to say he brought a small amount of gifts while we/family bought the rest. It’s a tricky one, I think…

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Yes that’s similar to what we said.
We told ours relatives give presents at Christmas as it was difficult to explain why our parents turned up with presents. Why didn’t Santa just deliver straight to us instead of expecting elderly relatives to lug all that stuff around.

However
A parent of one of my eldest told her children at age 4 Santa didn’t exist and he told everyone at school.
So the magic was gone to a certain extent
Bizarrely she was happy to carry on with all the Tooth Fairy stuff.

IdaPolly · 14/10/2023 14:46

Some people believe in God but no one believes unicorns are real, is the difference I guess.

BurnToastAgain · 14/10/2023 14:48

Firstly, you chose to send your DD to a religious school because you thought it was better than the other school in your area. Since you don’t want your daughter to be taught Catholic values and beliefs why not move her to the more secular school and see if that’s more to your taste?

I’m a practicing Catholic and I’m wondering how you even managed to get a place at this school since you aren’t Catholics. Did you have to pretend you were or do the school accept all children, regardless of faith or lack thereof? Why are you so surprised that a Catholic school teaches Catholic beliefs, especially when this was, by your own admission, explained to you before your DD started at the school?

Would you have sent her to another type of faith school if it had a good Ofsted report? A Jewish school maybe? Or an Islamic one? If you would, do you think you’d have complained when she was taught about Judaism or Islam? Like Christianity they are also Abrahamic religions.

Personally, I think that choosing a religious school for one’s child and then complaining that they are receiving a religious education is akin to purchasing a ticket for a football match and being annoyed because the orchestra was non existent and the operatic arias you’d hoped to hear were never performed 😬

Lilithlogic · 14/10/2023 14:48

IdaPolly · 14/10/2023 14:46

Some people believe in God but no one believes unicorns are real, is the difference I guess.

I'm sure there's one or two that believe in unicorns

halfshutknife · 14/10/2023 14:49

AutumnalPumpkin · 14/10/2023 11:33

@Gwendimarco I just think it's sad that she had to take it upon herself to tell them they weren't real , with no real reason to. It's not going to hurt them to think that fairies and unicorns live in the forest. You're only a child for such a small time. It feels like they're having to grow up too quickly

I think you need to ask yourself if you always believe everything your child says.

There may have been a very good reason why the teacher said this. There may have been an upset child scared of these creatures. The teacher may have said they don't exist in our woods etc but they do exist in our imaginations and our books.

Unless you were there and heard it 🤷🏼‍♀️

I went to a catholic school. My kids go to a catholic school. Never heard the likes.

I've also heard of people that don't believe in religion celebrating Christmas and Easter. That really blows my mind.

Waitingfortheconferencehosttojoin · 14/10/2023 14:50

I don’t think this is a Catholic thing, I think this is a “shouldn’t be a reception teacher” thing. People wouldn’t told kids fairies aren’t real when I was at Catholic primary - except perhaps the dragon of a woman who should haven’t been a reception teacher 😂

Minnie68 · 14/10/2023 14:51

AGovernmentOfLawsAndNotMen · 14/10/2023 14:45

Yes that’s similar to what we said.
We told ours relatives give presents at Christmas as it was difficult to explain why our parents turned up with presents. Why didn’t Santa just deliver straight to us instead of expecting elderly relatives to lug all that stuff around.

However
A parent of one of my eldest told her children at age 4 Santa didn’t exist and he told everyone at school.
So the magic was gone to a certain extent
Bizarrely she was happy to carry on with all the Tooth Fairy stuff.

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Yes we totally agree. We also think of all the kids who get nothing and my nephew, for example, is already attuned to injustice and poverty so he will ask this year I reckon why Santa gives some kids more than others. And then there’s the other end of the spectrum where kids get bought expensive tech from a young age or several “main” presents - which we refuse to do personally but each to their own.

YourNan · 14/10/2023 14:52

“The child intuitively comprehends that although these stories are unreal, they are not untrue ...”
― Bruno Bettelheim, The Uses of Enchantment: The Meaning and Importance of Fairy Tales

DrinkingMyWaterMindingMyBiz · 14/10/2023 14:54

YABU. Catholic school or not, I think most teachers would tell children that unicorns aren’t real creatures as it’s a part of learning. (And it’s not the same as telling reception children that Santa or the tooth fairy aren’t real)

In all honesty, I thought that was the allure of unicorns (and fairies, pixies, elves, etc.) - the fact that they’re fantasy? And children who believe have a sense of adventure by trying to disprove the non-believers? I have never heard of any teacher pushing the idea that unicorns are real.

Lilithlogic · 14/10/2023 14:54

I must say, I had the most wonderful Catholic School teacher, she encouraged me to learn Gaelic and to read some wonderful books. Sadly after 2 years I had to return to living in North Wales, missed her so much.

manilafiller · 14/10/2023 14:55

I think that teacher could have handled it less bluntly but I wouldn't allow my 4yo to believe these things were real. It was clear to me as a child that these things were make believe. They were no less enjoyable.

Original poster

AutumnalPumpkin · 14/10/2023 14:57

@BurnToastAgain They accept children of all faiths.
I am not surprised nor shocked, annoyed, whinging and all other things I have been accused of being - that she is being taught catholic beliefs. That doesn't bother me at all.
My daughter went to a Muslim nursery. Religion isn't an issue to me at all. As I have stated multiple times.
It's the fact she is young, believes in nice imaginative things and got shut down.
I'm not complaining about anything to do with any religion here

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Minnie68 · 14/10/2023 15:01

DrinkingMyWaterMindingMyBiz · 14/10/2023 14:54

YABU. Catholic school or not, I think most teachers would tell children that unicorns aren’t real creatures as it’s a part of learning. (And it’s not the same as telling reception children that Santa or the tooth fairy aren’t real)

In all honesty, I thought that was the allure of unicorns (and fairies, pixies, elves, etc.) - the fact that they’re fantasy? And children who believe have a sense of adventure by trying to disprove the non-believers? I have never heard of any teacher pushing the idea that unicorns are real.

Yeah, “knowledge rich” and all that…

With that in mind, I’m going to tell my little one fantasy is a wonderful literary genre and she can write stories in the genre, based on such fantastical creatures. She can draw and imagine fairies, dragons etc.

It’s not true it’s quashing their imagination.

manilafiller · 14/10/2023 15:02

AutumnalPumpkin · 14/10/2023 14:57

@BurnToastAgain They accept children of all faiths.
I am not surprised nor shocked, annoyed, whinging and all other things I have been accused of being - that she is being taught catholic beliefs. That doesn't bother me at all.
My daughter went to a Muslim nursery. Religion isn't an issue to me at all. As I have stated multiple times.
It's the fact she is young, believes in nice imaginative things and got shut down.
I'm not complaining about anything to do with any religion here

But you are, for reasons that have been explained to you. Now you know the approach that the faith you've chosen to educate you child in takes, you need to drop your issue. If you don't then you are complaining about the religion.

YourNan · 14/10/2023 15:02

AutumnalPumpkin · 14/10/2023 14:57

@BurnToastAgain They accept children of all faiths.
I am not surprised nor shocked, annoyed, whinging and all other things I have been accused of being - that she is being taught catholic beliefs. That doesn't bother me at all.
My daughter went to a Muslim nursery. Religion isn't an issue to me at all. As I have stated multiple times.
It's the fact she is young, believes in nice imaginative things and got shut down.
I'm not complaining about anything to do with any religion here

Yes agree. I only joined Mumsnet today. People seem to get told off a lot in the replies to their questions.

LolaSmiles · 14/10/2023 15:04

It's the fact she is young, believes in nice imaginative things and got shut down.
They key part her is imaginative.
The job of schools isn't to teach kid that imaginary creatures are real.

Mythical creatures are just that, mythical. They can be fun and exciting and enjoyable to think about and be the source of great imaginative games, but they aren't real.

Learning what is real and what is make believe is part of being a child and when they're younger they look to adults for guidance as they explore. Knowing unicorns aren't literally flying around planet earth isn't going to prevent enjoyable imaginative play.

It sounds like the teacher has been a bit blunter than I'd have chosen, but concluding a discussion about different mythical creatures with the fact that they don't literally exist is fine.

2weekstowait · 14/10/2023 15:07

I once told a reception age child that unicorns weren't real and she didn't believe me! I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to say, but making a point of having pictures on the board and then telling them the truth needlessly harsh.