To be a bit miffed by this?

[Cats234]

Friends wedding in May. Quite a good friend but don't see her that often due to distance and busy lives etc. Went to her hen do as well. Gave her £50 in wedding card at the wedding (put it in the postbox they had on present table for cards)
Never had a thank you for it?
It's not like her to not acknowledge gifts or say thank you so now I'm worrying she didn't get it.
Obviously it's now months since the wedding

Why didn't you post it to her home? It seems silly to send gifts/money to the reception when it just creates a job for someone to deal with them.

@Millybob that's where they wanted the cards to go when we were at the wedding...they'd had a postbox made on the gift table in the venue it's quite a common thing

I've seen similar threads, it seems like thank you notes are out of fashion nowadays. Honestly I never learned the proper etiquette on this myself and haven't taught my children either because I have no idea. I think technology has ruined cultural norms. I wouldn't take it personally!

You're not being unreasonable to have wanted confirmation that your gift was received but it's far too late to be worrying about it now. It is highly likely that she did get it as they had a proper set up and the money was in a card from yourself .This is the trouble with people wanting money, especially cash, it all becomes unmemorable almost as to who gave what. If you had posted the money, you would definitely have grounds to worry that it had not reached the recipient, no one sends cash nowadays for very good reasons

@junbean What is there to learn? You write a short note and you thank the donor for their gift. Is that too difficult to work out for yourself? Stamp on the envelope, then post it.

Wow, rude! Yes there's details. There's a certain amount of time given to send notes depending on the event. You can't expect someone to write notes on their honeymoon, or just after a birth for example. There's a grace period. Notes are rather formal in today's culture which is what I was saying. It's not taught anymore. Honestly I can see why they don't bother with you though, I regret replying in the first place.

You don't know how to say thank you? It's still very much a cultural norm.

@StarlightLime Using snail mail is not really a thing anymore, so no.

It's a wedding.
They would have forked out absolutely hundreds on the event, stressed themselves out to no end working out all the ins and outs of venue, invitations, table arrangements, food, music, family dynamics, dresses, hair, bridesmaids, etc etc, they offered a post box to drop off your wedding gift.

I would never genuinely expect a personalized thank you card for a wedding gift. Surely giving is it's own reward at weddings.

Not really a thing... You're not serious, surely? I'll bet op received her wedding invitation by snail mail. People send Christmas / Birthday / Thank you cards through the mail all the time.
You seem astonished at some fairly everyday things, tbh?

Lol at "giving is it's own reward" 😂

It's just reality. Sorry it upsets you so much.

No, it's absolutely not reality. I'm not remotely upset, just boggled at your notion of reality 😬
Nobody uses the post anymore, I was never taught to say thank you so I can't teach my kids how to... How weird that you'd insist that this is the "reality" for everyone else too.

I honestly can’t remember the last time I received an invitation - wedding or otherwise - by snail mail. They’re usually sent on those online invites that you have to type a code in to access or something. The only things I receive in the actual post are junk mail! So @junbean, I think you are absolutely correct that posting thank you notes is a thing of the past.

Some people send out generic “thank you everyone for coming and your lovely contributions” via WhatsApp or whatever, but personally I think that’s a little impersonal, so I wouldn’t know what to do either. Go the whole hog and post personalised thank you notes like in the days of yore, or just leave it? I think I’d go with the former, personally, but it wouldn’t surprise me that people go with the latter these days. I think I’d be unbothered by it, but can see why people who still see notes in the post as the standard would be a bit annoyed.

Is this your first time realizing people have different points of view? I stated how I see things. So what? Move along.

You didn't state a different point of view, you claimed that your obviously quite limited experience of the world was the reality for everyone 🤣🤣🤣
That's quite something. As is ordering me to move along. Er, no...

I didn't expect a thank you note although I have had this at previous weddings for gifts/momey/vouchers I've given but I do think it's a bit rude not to acknowledge a gift at all. I can't imagine being given 50 quid by someone and not even sending a text to say thanks.

I've voted YANBU. However, I didn't do thank you notes after my wedding either. Almost 20 years later and it does still embarrass me a bit when I think about it 🙈
I actually wrote most of them too. I just never got round to posting them. And then before too long, if felt too late. (I've not learnt my lesson, I still do this with Xmas cards!)
Having said that, I haven't had a thank you note for a wedding present in years! So, I don't think it's as much a done thing now.

😂 Seriously! How utterly bizarre. Maybe if you can't work out how to post a thank you card you could actually pick up the phone and make a telephone call!

It's possible the money was chucked accidentally and they thought they had only received a card?

Why don't you say something like, "I wasn't sure what to get you so I hope you got something nice with the money I gave you."

Not elderly, just have etiquette and manners.

I literally cannot imagine phoning every single wedding guest to thank them. You’d never get off the phone!

That's just an excuse to be rude. If someone goes out of their way to buy a present for you or your family and get that present to you, you thank them, you don't just ignore it because you don't know how the postal system works or you're too young and hip to make a phone call. You find a way to return the gratitude and thank that person. Be it a thank you card, a phone call or a message. You don't just ignore it.