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AIBU?

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Original poster

to have treated children with letting dog out

239 replies

beakerclub · 12/10/2023 19:18

DH thinks I was OTT with this, I don't.

Basically as I was getting out of my car with my 2 year old child last night two kids, probably about 8 from their height, were stood right by silently in halloween masks whilst I was unclipping my son from his car seat.

I just rolled my eyes initially and completely ignored them but then as I walked toward my house and up my drive they followed me and at this point my little boy was starting to get upset. I told them to go but they didn't, literally followed me up my drive and to my door!!

In the end I said you have 3 seconds to get off my drive or I'll be letting my dog out to deal with you and you'll wish you had. They scarpered quick as I opened my door and shouted my dog outside.

Now my dog is pretty big and a bit barky and can be quite scary looking if he wanted to be, but he's actually soft as shit so there wasn't any real risk of him doing anything, still it did the trick and they ran off and my dog was confused as to what the commotion was ha.

DH thinks it was just kids messing about and I shouldn't have threatened to basically have my dog attack them (wouldn't have happened). I disagree, I think if you're going to be daft enough to make a toddler upset and follow strangers up their driveways then meeting a scary dog at the door is what you get and really all I did was just warn them I have a dog and was opening my door 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
midnitghtgraveyard · 12/10/2023 21:53

Clarinetiu · 12/10/2023 21:51

She did let the dog out

I mean as in attack them.

StarDolphins · 12/10/2023 21:54

tasslesated · 12/10/2023 21:41

Actually, I think it's more likely that the OPs child grows up into a thug.

Children learn by example.

🤣

Purpleyogamat · 12/10/2023 22:06

LolaSmiles · 12/10/2023 21:31

What adult threatens children they'll set a dog on them and they'll be sorry, especially when dog attacks are all over the news? And then what possesses them to actually call the dog for added measure?

However annoying they were being, adults don't generally threaten children with a dog attack. It sounds like pathetic point scoring. Big hard adult goes to set dog on children instead of going inside, shutting the door and focusing on supporting their own child who was scared.

Go back about as recently as a few decades, and a lot of adults were threatening kids who were behaving 'unsociably', with dogs. It was fairly standard practice in our sleepy little town. The net effect was a) kids learned to give other peoples' dogs a respectful wide berth and b) not to be complete dickheads for the rest of their childhood.

As an older person with no young children around, it's interesting that when I read the OP, the notion that this was Halloween-related honestly didn't enter my head. It's three weeks away and in my world, it only dawns on me that it's Halloween a day or so beforehand. If I had been the target of these kids' 'pranks' last night, it would have scared the crap out of me (I have an irrational fear of horror masks anyway, thanks to Scream). The fact they weren't shouting 'trick or treat' but just standing there silently before following me up my drive, would have only added to the chill.

That said, I truly believe that dogs are not weapons and shouldn't be treated as such. But I also believe that these kids unfortunately need to learn their boundaries from someone, if their parents can't be bothered to.

Original poster
beakerclub · 12/10/2023 22:06

To answer a couple of questions no my dog isn't an XL bully or any bull breed, he's not even a scary breed he's just a bit big and excitable so can bark when you get home / he meets new people. He's a collie/GS cross.

He didn't actually come outside or even bark at the kids, I opened the door and shouted his name knowing he'd bound over to welcome us back like he always does and by the time he was at the door they'd ran off. I did not set my "violent" dog on them, he's never been violent in his life and did absolutely nothing.

The thought of them "just being after some early Halloween sweets" is hilarious. They absolutely were not, they were purposefully trying to scare me and my child. Me perhaps not so much but they were upsetting my toddler and they knew it. They didn't just follow me up the road, they waited by my car, right by me, purposefully whilst I was getting my son from his seat, followed me up the street to my drive, walked up my drive after being told to leave and came right up to my door whilst I was trying to settle my son and get inside. They were ABSOLUTELY trying to do it on purpose, nothing to do with sweets and they had already been told to bugger off more politely.

As PPs have said about their areas, the kids round here can be fucking hideous. There's kids this age out at 11pm riding mopeds up and down the street, shouting obscenities at people etc.. they are, frankly, little shits and god knows what sort of parents they have. Obviously I can't know for certain it's the same kids but there's a few of them round here and it wouldn't surprise me, it's exactly the kind of thing they'd do.

OP posts:
SD1978 · 12/10/2023 22:08

If you were into it dated by them, had repeatedly asked them to leave and they didn't, the. I don't feel you did anything wrong. They were on your property, and you made a threat to get them off. They weren't in the street, they were on private property and asked to leave several times.

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz12 · 12/10/2023 22:22

JustPretend · 12/10/2023 19:35

You know what, when you have a small child, 8 year olds seem older than they are and you expect a lot from them.

When your child is 8 you'll realise they're basically taller 3 year olds.

You overreacted massively.

So perhaps they should actually be parented, and not just allowed to roam the streets being a nuisance

WeighDownOnMeStayTillMorning · 12/10/2023 22:33

If your dog had bitten them you'd be absolutely fucked and nothing you've said would be acceptable as any kind of mitigation.

daliesque · 12/10/2023 22:55

The parents should teach their kids that when an adult requests them not to do something, they don't carry on regardless and do it

Oh I quite agree and I a, very open about preferring dogs to kids. However, there are a lot of twats in this world and it is possible that these children's parents are of that variety and will retaliate. This could cause more problems for the OP,going forward and even worse, potentially harm her dog.

That's why it was stupid. She now put a big flashing neon sign on her dogs head for no reason, but which will attracts the twats.

Limmers14 · 12/10/2023 23:06

Good on you. Shit kids like that grow up to be the shit adults who don’t care about the world around them. I would’ve done the same or taken the masks off them. There’s so much mollycoddling of feral kids on here. They’re 8, they know right from wrong!

PangramAddict · 12/10/2023 23:09

eandz13 · 12/10/2023 19:43

I have kids at similar ages. Mine wouldn't be out winding folk up, but if they were my children and I caught wind of this, i'd tell them it served them bloody right to be scared off like that and they should keep it in mind if they think of doing that again.
YANBU.

100% this! Sick to death of kids thinking we don't mean it unless we say it ten times. I include my own in this!

ZiriForEver · 12/10/2023 23:11

Question for those who feel it is acceptable to threaten using dog as a weapon and happy it "did the trick".

Would it be still ok if it the dog was replaced with:

In the end I said you have 3 seconds to get off my drive or I'll be letting my dog out to deal with you and you'll wish you had. They scarpered quick as I opened my door.

  1. Taking my revolver out
  2. Letting my tiger out to deal with you
  3. Letting my dog out - while not having a dog

Just curious, I am trying to figure out whether the worse part is "threatening" or "by the dog", so I am interested in your take on this.

mollyfolk · 12/10/2023 23:17

beakerclub · 12/10/2023 22:06

To answer a couple of questions no my dog isn't an XL bully or any bull breed, he's not even a scary breed he's just a bit big and excitable so can bark when you get home / he meets new people. He's a collie/GS cross.

He didn't actually come outside or even bark at the kids, I opened the door and shouted his name knowing he'd bound over to welcome us back like he always does and by the time he was at the door they'd ran off. I did not set my "violent" dog on them, he's never been violent in his life and did absolutely nothing.

The thought of them "just being after some early Halloween sweets" is hilarious. They absolutely were not, they were purposefully trying to scare me and my child. Me perhaps not so much but they were upsetting my toddler and they knew it. They didn't just follow me up the road, they waited by my car, right by me, purposefully whilst I was getting my son from his seat, followed me up the street to my drive, walked up my drive after being told to leave and came right up to my door whilst I was trying to settle my son and get inside. They were ABSOLUTELY trying to do it on purpose, nothing to do with sweets and they had already been told to bugger off more politely.

As PPs have said about their areas, the kids round here can be fucking hideous. There's kids this age out at 11pm riding mopeds up and down the street, shouting obscenities at people etc.. they are, frankly, little shits and god knows what sort of parents they have. Obviously I can't know for certain it's the same kids but there's a few of them round here and it wouldn't surprise me, it's exactly the kind of thing they'd do.

I think your attitude towards them is questionable. They are small children and it sounds like they have terrible parents. I wouldn’t be another crappy adult in their life. Threatening children with violence is always wrong.

Letsgoroundagain101 · 12/10/2023 23:29

There’s a chance now (because they’re silly kids and they’ve already shown themselves to be total wind-up merchants) that they will come and hang around your house with the express purpose off winding you and your dog up. They might bring their mates over, throw things at windows, maybe over your fence, knock-door-run, etc etc The excuse of Halloween is going to run on for the whole of October at least…
No matter what the provocation, if you (or your dog) threaten or hurt these kids in anyway then the law is against you (regardless of what the court of Mumsnet thinks).

sandyhappypeople · 12/10/2023 23:34

ZiriForEver · 12/10/2023 23:11

Question for those who feel it is acceptable to threaten using dog as a weapon and happy it "did the trick".

Would it be still ok if it the dog was replaced with:

In the end I said you have 3 seconds to get off my drive or I'll be letting my dog out to deal with you and you'll wish you had. They scarpered quick as I opened my door.

  1. Taking my revolver out
  2. Letting my tiger out to deal with you
  3. Letting my dog out - while not having a dog

Just curious, I am trying to figure out whether the worse part is "threatening" or "by the dog", so I am interested in your take on this.

"Revolver"?? Where do you live, the Wild West??

Sorry that's cracked me up!

StarlightLime · 12/10/2023 23:35

ZiriForEver · 12/10/2023 23:11

Question for those who feel it is acceptable to threaten using dog as a weapon and happy it "did the trick".

Would it be still ok if it the dog was replaced with:

In the end I said you have 3 seconds to get off my drive or I'll be letting my dog out to deal with you and you'll wish you had. They scarpered quick as I opened my door.

  1. Taking my revolver out
  2. Letting my tiger out to deal with you
  3. Letting my dog out - while not having a dog

Just curious, I am trying to figure out whether the worse part is "threatening" or "by the dog", so I am interested in your take on this.

What exactly are you on about?

Gabiabbi · 12/10/2023 23:49

I'm with you OP. Little shits should know better than to follow a woman carrying her toddler up her drive, after being told not to!

WandaWonder · 12/10/2023 23:50

I may have said I will go see their parents. I don't see the need for the dramatics

MatthewsMumFromTikTok · 12/10/2023 23:54

'Oh hello, it's you! Remember me? I'm friends with your Mum/Dad/parents'

TheSpikySpinosaurus · 12/10/2023 23:58

WeighDownOnMeStayTillMorning · 12/10/2023 22:33

If your dog had bitten them you'd be absolutely fucked and nothing you've said would be acceptable as any kind of mitigation.

Christ on a bike. The dog didn't even come out of the house. It didn't bite anyone. Calm down.

saraclara · 13/10/2023 00:19

Hellocatshome · 12/10/2023 20:46

And neither is threatening so...

Show quote history

It would have been to her three year old. My DGD would have been freaked out by 'big kids' in scary masks not going away when mum told them to, and following her.

ChocolateIsntTheSameAnymore · 13/10/2023 00:26

Good on you!
If that was my dcs And they came home saying someone had done that, I'd be telling them it serves them right! They were asked to move they didn't.

Coyoacan · 13/10/2023 00:34

I hope you don't get irate parents at your door or, worse still, someone harming your dog.

Overcooker · 13/10/2023 00:40

Coyoacan · 13/10/2023 00:34

I hope you don't get irate parents at your door or, worse still, someone harming your dog.

Yup. Whether or not you think the OP was within her rights to make the threat, I do think it risks blowback.

RantyAnty · 13/10/2023 00:58

Well done OP!
It's probably the first time the little shits have ever had a consequence. Bet they don't do it again.

BabyFireflyx · 13/10/2023 01:00

daffodilandtulip · 12/10/2023 19:44

I don't agree with what you did, and you could have ended up in trouble or with a thump from one of their parents ... but everyone saying about scaring the kids? Round here the kids that roam the streets would say something like "if your dog comes near me I'll stamp on it's fucking face"...

Yep. This exactly.
The kids around here have no fear of consequences from adults. They'll happily intimidate and attack. You're lucky if they don’t have a knife. Halloween masks? It's balaclavas year round here.