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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have treated children with letting dog out

239 replies

beakerclub · 12/10/2023 19:18

DH thinks I was OTT with this, I don't.

Basically as I was getting out of my car with my 2 year old child last night two kids, probably about 8 from their height, were stood right by silently in halloween masks whilst I was unclipping my son from his car seat.

I just rolled my eyes initially and completely ignored them but then as I walked toward my house and up my drive they followed me and at this point my little boy was starting to get upset. I told them to go but they didn't, literally followed me up my drive and to my door!!

In the end I said you have 3 seconds to get off my drive or I'll be letting my dog out to deal with you and you'll wish you had. They scarpered quick as I opened my door and shouted my dog outside.

Now my dog is pretty big and a bit barky and can be quite scary looking if he wanted to be, but he's actually soft as shit so there wasn't any real risk of him doing anything, still it did the trick and they ran off and my dog was confused as to what the commotion was ha.

DH thinks it was just kids messing about and I shouldn't have threatened to basically have my dog attack them (wouldn't have happened). I disagree, I think if you're going to be daft enough to make a toddler upset and follow strangers up their driveways then meeting a scary dog at the door is what you get and really all I did was just warn them I have a dog and was opening my door 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
Bloom15 · 12/10/2023 20:30

eandz13 · 12/10/2023 19:43

I have kids at similar ages. Mine wouldn't be out winding folk up, but if they were my children and I caught wind of this, i'd tell them it served them bloody right to be scared off like that and they should keep it in mind if they think of doing that again.
YANBU.

Agree - my son is 8. And if he did this - he wouldn't - then I would say it was his own fault

Ilovelurchers · 12/10/2023 20:31

I think it depends entirely on how you felt. If you felt you and your child were GENUINELY at risk of violent harm, I think this is ok. I have once used my dog as a threat, about a year ago, when a man approached me alone out early in the morning in the park with an obscene suggestion. Dog was off in the bushes but I whistled him, knowing he would come bounding over. (He's a tall dog and also just wide enough to have a bit of threat to him in the dark - anyway the scary sexual harasser thought so, as off he fucked).

I am struggling to think you were genuinely scared by these eight year olds tho? And as others have said, threatening someone with violence (and not even just a slap - a mauling!) just because they are annoying you is totally wrong, and indeed a little bit mad. I mean, why stop there - why not fetch your shotgun too?

If you WERE truly scared, I apologise. I know there have been a few isolated cases of kids this age committing horrible crimes. Rare tho. Its very hard to see how they could harm a grown adult, unless you suspected they were armed?

MsRosewater · 12/10/2023 20:32

Please think back on this when your child is 8 and consider how reasonable it is?!

It really is bullying kids ( who may not be behaving perfectly but then they are 8 and you are an adult )

Prinnny · 12/10/2023 20:33

Hellocatshome · 12/10/2023 20:26

Did they? Do you think two 8 year olds thought here's a good idea let's wait for OP getting home so we can intentionally upset her and her toddler. Or do you think they didn't think any further than if we put these masks on people might give us sweets.

Show quote history

Of course they did! OP told them to leave her alone and they ignored and followed her onto her property, that’s rude AF.

Why would anyone be giving sweets to kids walking the streets in masks? Halloween is three weeks away!

SirenSays · 12/10/2023 20:35

I thought you were gonna say they were huge beasts in bloody Jason masks. Not a couple of silent 8 year olds. There were a million other and better ways to handle that.
For goodness sake do adults really need to be told not to threaten children with large dogs now?

tasslesated · 12/10/2023 20:36

And why exactly would you go shouting your mouth off about your violent dog, when you've got a toddler yourself?

Keep doing this and you'll have both the police and social services round.

This is the maddest thread

edwinbear · 12/10/2023 20:36

OP is completely within her rights to let her dog out of her front door, onto her own private driveway. They were trespassing.

Annfr · 12/10/2023 20:38

You're my hero.

The problem is kids think they can do this and no one is ever going to do anything. It wasn't like you didn't ask them to go away. They were obviously trying to scare you and your child.

Annfr · 12/10/2023 20:41

I honestly can't believe people are defending them. They weren't just standing around having a laugh, they followed her and her small child up the driveway, to her door!

Hellocatshome · 12/10/2023 20:42

Prinnny · 12/10/2023 20:33

Of course they did! OP told them to leave her alone and they ignored and followed her onto her property, that’s rude AF.

Why would anyone be giving sweets to kids walking the streets in masks? Halloween is three weeks away!

Show quote history

Again they are 8. Probably trying their luck. 8 year olds standing on your drive is of no threat to you or your family in anyway. You might be fine threatening children with violence, I think it is unnecessary and unreasonable.

Hellocatshome · 12/10/2023 20:43

Annfr · 12/10/2023 20:41

I honestly can't believe people are defending them. They weren't just standing around having a laugh, they followed her and her small child up the driveway, to her door!

Which isn't intimidating in the slightest unless there were very large or heavily armed 8 years olds.

Overcooker · 12/10/2023 20:44

Yeah, I’m also of the view that, unless you were genuinely concerned for your safety (which does not appear to be the case) then threatening young children with violence is awful behaviour.

Also, dogs are unpredictable and I don’t think you can rule out that even a generally ‘soft’ dog might react aggressively to masked strangers at the door.

Annfr · 12/10/2023 20:45

Hellocatshome · 12/10/2023 20:42

Again they are 8. Probably trying their luck. 8 year olds standing on your drive is of no threat to you or your family in anyway. You might be fine threatening children with violence, I think it is unnecessary and unreasonable.

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"standing on drive" and following you up your drive to your front door after being asked to leave... Is not the same thing

Hellocatshome · 12/10/2023 20:46

Annfr · 12/10/2023 20:45

"standing on drive" and following you up your drive to your front door after being asked to leave... Is not the same thing

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And neither is threatening so...

PurpleBugz · 12/10/2023 20:46

lol. Can't believe the stick you are getting for this. Obviously you took it too far but your child was scared and in the moment that's what you thought of. They followed you up your drive and scared your child doesn't matter if they were just 8 they can't behave like that they should have had a parent with them. I have an 8 year old if never let her out alone like that and if I got wind she behaved like that I'd be punishing her for her behaviour regardless of what I thought of her being threatened with a dog

AmIAutumnalNow · 12/10/2023 20:47

tasslesated · 12/10/2023 20:27

If someone threatened to set a dog on my child, I'd call the police.

Would you 🤣🤣

ShellySarah · 12/10/2023 20:49

Hopefully someone will do something similar to your kid at that age.

AmIAutumnalNow · 12/10/2023 20:49

Well done OP

We don't all live in St Mary Mead

Little aids will hopefully think twice

JustPretend · 12/10/2023 20:51

Annfr · 12/10/2023 20:41

I honestly can't believe people are defending them. They weren't just standing around having a laugh, they followed her and her small child up the driveway, to her door!

And if you've ever ever met an 8 year old you'd know exactly how not terrifying that is.

Mydogmybestfriend · 12/10/2023 20:52

The kids were being creepy but I probably would have just ignored considering the issues with dogs these days
Or acted fake scared

Dunnoburt · 12/10/2023 20:53

Your dog has a mind of its own.....what would you have done if it had actually caught one of the little shits?....yabvu.......kids being kids....agree....very annoying but what you did was awful....."soft as shit" or not.... you used your dog as a threat and weapon.

AmIAutumnalNow · 12/10/2023 20:53

@JustPretend What about if you teach a class of them?

Dunnoburt · 12/10/2023 20:54

Unless said creepy kids has knives etc.. of course!

SideEyeSally · 12/10/2023 20:54

There is an attitude from a lot of folk these days that 'kids misbehave because they're kids' which is true but the bit they miss is that they need to learn not to do stuff like this and this is how they learn. When I was wee we nicked apples, allotment owner let his dog on us and we climbed out and never did it again. It's a natural consequence and part of growing up. Kids who have never faced the fact that deliberately provoking people can result in retaliation don't learn not to do it.

Mydogmybestfriend · 12/10/2023 20:54

JustPretend · 12/10/2023 20:51

And if you've ever ever met an 8 year old you'd know exactly how not terrifying that is.

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Micheal Myers was 6-8 look how he turned out