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AIBU?

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Original poster

School left my child in wet clothes

45 replies

Bell17 · 12/10/2023 19:12

Today when I picked my 5 year old SEN child up from school, he was wet. As in every piece of his clothing down to his underwear and socks where soaking wet. As soon as we got home and I realised I phoned the school and spoke to the teacher who had no idea and didn’t sound too concerned. Another child had thrown a bottle of water at him and it had apparently gone unnoticed by any of the 3 members of staff who were supposed to be in the room. He has trouble with communication and interaction and it has left me very upset that he has sat there in wet clothes and nobody noticed. I already have a phone call scheduled with the senco tomorrow and I plan to bring it up. But am I being unreasonable to be angry about this? I’m not angry that it happened just that is went unnoticed.

OP posts:
Cowlover89 · 12/10/2023 19:14

Yanbu

Ibouncetothebeat · 12/10/2023 19:14

I personally think you’re being unreasonable. If you didn’t notice it when you picked him up why do you expect them to have noticed it. Perhaps just letting them know that the incident happened and to keep an eye out for it happening again.

my point is, if you couldn’t tell he was wet when looking at him why do expect the teacher to. Unless there’s more to the story, if your child is in a mainstream class of 25-30, I don’t think it’s unreasonable for the teacher not to notice.

StarlightLime · 12/10/2023 19:16

You didn't notice when you picked him up, either?

Overthebow · 12/10/2023 19:19

If you didn’t notice until you got home how would they have noticed? He would have been sat in a normal sized class and they wouldn’t exactly be going round to check each child.

Original poster
Bell17 · 12/10/2023 19:30

i had noticed that his coat was wet but didn’t realise to the extent as he was in his pushchair, it was only when we got home and I was getting him out of the wet coat and realised just how wet he was I phoned the school to see what had happened. I think I’m more bothered that it’s not the first incident in these first few weeks of the school year

OP posts:
Username9917 · 12/10/2023 20:09

Bell17 · 12/10/2023 19:30

i had noticed that his coat was wet but didn’t realise to the extent as he was in his pushchair, it was only when we got home and I was getting him out of the wet coat and realised just how wet he was I phoned the school to see what had happened. I think I’m more bothered that it’s not the first incident in these first few weeks of the school year

This still doesn't make sense though, would he not have needed help getting into and being buckled in a pushchair, thus putting you in close proximity to him, and you still didn't notice? I completely understand you're upset he went home wet, it's not a nice thing think about and I'd have been upset too, but I don't think you should feel angry at the staff, it's just one of those unfortunate things that happened. And I know I'm coming at this from the point of view of a teacher, but as someone who has 31 children in their class, it just isn't possible to realise everything that goes on at once. You aren't wrong to feel sad and annoyed, but it isn't the individual fault of staff. It's just how schools are these days - chronically underfunded, understaffed and oversubscribed, so inevitably things get missed xx

Fireisland · 12/10/2023 20:16

How big was this bottle of water that it soaked him from his coat down to his underwear?!

I have to agree with PPs, if it wasn't immediately obvious to you then it's understandable it wasn't to the teachers either.

newYear10 · 12/10/2023 20:19

Yanbu to feel upset but you also didn't notice. If YOU missed that with only one child how would a teacher with 30 others have notice?

newYear10 · 12/10/2023 20:20

Fireisland · 12/10/2023 20:16

How big was this bottle of water that it soaked him from his coat down to his underwear?!

I have to agree with PPs, if it wasn't immediately obvious to you then it's understandable it wasn't to the teachers either.

This. You must be exaggerating because there is no way he could be soaked with just a bottle.

00100001 · 12/10/2023 20:25

Are you implying that he hits soaked before hometime? That his soaking wet clothes were on him for hours?

00100001 · 12/10/2023 20:26

Every item was "soaking wet" ? Did he fall in a puddle or something? I'm failing to see how a kids water bottle, even if full, could soak through his coat, his trousers and down to his pants...

LBB2020 · 12/10/2023 20:28

Does he have 1:1? If so I’d have expected them to have noticed and changed him

Fairospop22 · 12/10/2023 20:29

Hope your little boy is OK after all of that.

Did he already have his coat on when you collected him? Quite concerning that this incident went unnoticed in a classroom with 3 members of staff

Shinyandnew1 · 12/10/2023 20:36

How many children are in the class? If it’s a special school class of 6 pupils with 3 adults, my answer would be different to what I’d say if it’s a mainstream class of 30.

My daughter wet herself once near the end of the day-she came out with soaking knickers, socks and shoes. Nobody noticed as it was a class of 30 four year olds and she hadn’t said anything. There was a teacher, TA and the 1:1 of another child in the room but I wasn’t surprised they didn’t notice. Getting lots of small children ready at the end of the day is busy and things are easily missed!

You strapped the child into the pushchair though and didn’t notice either?

Blondeshavemorefun · 12/10/2023 20:37

I can't see if he was that wet at home when you didn't notice when picked him up /put in buggy at school

And why didn't say anything to school there and then

If uou didn't notice it till later then not surprised school didn't notice it

Original poster
Bell17 · 12/10/2023 20:53

When I was putting him in his pram, as I said, I did notice that his coat was wet, I looked around for his teacher but he was already gone so it was one of those things where you just say ‘oh I’ll ask about it tomorrow’ and it was a shock when I took his coat off and found him wet right through - yes to his underwear. From what we can work out from him, the other child threw the water at him while he was sat on the carpet and he didn’t do anything or say anything he just sat there in the wet clothes so I’m assuming it has just soaked through his clothes while he sat there. We have had a talk with him about needing to tell somebody as little things like this has been happening most days but he is not telling anybody.

OP posts:
UsingChangeofName · 12/10/2023 20:55

I have to agree with everyone else.
Both in I'm not sure how he could have got quite so soaked from a thrown water bottle, to how you expect the teacher to have noticed, when you didn't, even though you were clearly close to him, and focused purely on him.
Also - if his communication difficulties are such that he is unable to ask for help (either verbally, signing, or using symbols), how is he able to communicate to you exactly what happened ?

As pp has said, I understand you feeling upset, but I think you have to understand how staff with 29 other children all also needing attention, might not have noticed, when you didn't.

UsingChangeofName · 12/10/2023 20:56

x posted

Shinyandnew1 · 12/10/2023 21:05

But am I being unreasonable to be angry about this? I’m not angry that it happened just that is went unnoticed.

You strapped your own soaking wet child into a pushchair without noticing, yet you’re angry with the teacher for not picking up on it, whilst they were trying to get a whole class of children ready for home?

MollyMarples · 12/10/2023 21:10

How on earth can a teacher check 30 children for wetness? You didn’t even notice yourself when you were 1:1 strapping him into his pram.

Goshdarnitgoofy · 12/10/2023 21:11

So he had his coat on sitting down and the water managed to soak through his coat and all his clothes. That seems very unlikely. If the water bottle was thrown surely it would have just splashed water on him, for him to be soaked it would need to have been poured on him? And I still feel there is no way it went through to his underwear.

weefella · 12/10/2023 21:11

"I’m not angry that it happened just that is went unnoticed."

But it also went unnoticed by you!

StarlightLime · 12/10/2023 21:12

Bell17 · 12/10/2023 20:53

When I was putting him in his pram, as I said, I did notice that his coat was wet, I looked around for his teacher but he was already gone so it was one of those things where you just say ‘oh I’ll ask about it tomorrow’ and it was a shock when I took his coat off and found him wet right through - yes to his underwear. From what we can work out from him, the other child threw the water at him while he was sat on the carpet and he didn’t do anything or say anything he just sat there in the wet clothes so I’m assuming it has just soaked through his clothes while he sat there. We have had a talk with him about needing to tell somebody as little things like this has been happening most days but he is not telling anybody.

Was this at home time, when he'd already put his coat on? Why would they notice?! You didn't.

saltinesandcoffeecups · 12/10/2023 21:16

Honestly OP I’m trying to understand this as I think everyone else is. Was one area soaked through, coat, trousers, underwear? Or are you saying he was soaked like standing out in heavy rain?

Your posts come across like it’s the second, but the first seems most likely. If the first then I can picture this as a result of a water bottle, and can understand that the teachers missed it. To be fair you did as well. If the second then all of you should have seen it.

Duttercup · 12/10/2023 21:17

At least you've had some warning he needs a better coat...

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