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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

School left my child in wet clothes

45 replies

Bell17 · 12/10/2023 19:12

Today when I picked my 5 year old SEN child up from school, he was wet. As in every piece of his clothing down to his underwear and socks where soaking wet. As soon as we got home and I realised I phoned the school and spoke to the teacher who had no idea and didn’t sound too concerned. Another child had thrown a bottle of water at him and it had apparently gone unnoticed by any of the 3 members of staff who were supposed to be in the room. He has trouble with communication and interaction and it has left me very upset that he has sat there in wet clothes and nobody noticed. I already have a phone call scheduled with the senco tomorrow and I plan to bring it up. But am I being unreasonable to be angry about this? I’m not angry that it happened just that is went unnoticed.

OP posts:

AnneLovesGilbert · 12/10/2023 21:30

It’s hard to understand. My daughter’s water bottle, even if it was full which it wouldn’t be by the end of the day, wouldn’t soak a child through clothes to the skin, even if it was poured rather than splashed or chucked.

I’m sorry you’re upset, it’s horrible he’ll have been uncomfy. But it’s not easy to see what’s happened. I certainly wouldn’t go in all guns blazing.

Bumblepig · 12/10/2023 21:37

A lot of people are making assumptions here. Disappointing that the teacher was nowhere to be seen at the end of the school day.

Regardless of whether OP noticed it when he was getting strapped in his pushchair, it’s unacceptable that none of the 3 responsible adults in the classroom witnessed a SEN child being soaked through to the skin.

I would be angry too.

Winnipeggy · 12/10/2023 21:41

Not sure why you're getting such a hard time OP. Lot of conspiracy theorists on here apparently. I would be upset if that happened, I think you have every right to bring it up (calmly of course)

StarlightLime · 12/10/2023 21:41

Bumblepig · 12/10/2023 21:37

A lot of people are making assumptions here. Disappointing that the teacher was nowhere to be seen at the end of the school day.

I would be angry too.

But the child had his coat on, so whatever happened evidently happened at the end of the day, shortly before pickup. He wasn't "left" in wet clothes.
I'm also sceptical at him being drenched through from coat to underwear, unless the other child somehow tipped a bucket of water over him.

StopLickingTheDog · 12/10/2023 21:47

If you're having regular incidents, what support does he have? Does he have an EHCP?

Bumblepig · 12/10/2023 22:11

@StarlightLime again, more assumptions. No one knows
whether this happened before or after coat was on.

I’m not sure why OP is getting such a hard time, does everyone have their pitchforks ready for Halloween?

SD1978 · 12/10/2023 22:12

Does he have a 1-1? If the other kid has done it when no one was watching, how would they k ow, unless your son spoke up? It's horrible to think someone has deliberately spilt water on him, not denying that, but unless they physically touched him, they wouldn't have noticed, sickle you didn't initially except the wet coat. I would be hoping to learn more about how the incident happened, but wouldn't necessarily say they were negligent.

StarlightLime · 12/10/2023 22:18

Bumblepig · 12/10/2023 22:11

@StarlightLime again, more assumptions. No one knows
whether this happened before or after coat was on.

I’m not sure why OP is getting such a hard time, does everyone have their pitchforks ready for Halloween?

His coat couldn't have been drenched if it was put on afterwards.

CaptainCallisto · 12/10/2023 22:41

If this happened at/just before home time, I can see how it could easily have been missed.

There were three adults in my Y1 class today at home time. I was focused on my 1:1, who finds the transition from school to hometime difficult, the other TA was comforting a girl who was sobbing because she'd lost her coat in the cloakroom and helping her look for it, and the teacher was by the sink dealing with a nosebleed.

We were all in the classroom, all keeping half an eye on the rest of the class (who were sitting quietly watching Numberblocks because they were early back from assembly) whilst dealing with our specific issues, but something small could have been missed if the child didn't speak up.

If they'd been back late from assembly (which will almost certainly happen tomorrow because its Friday) then it would have been even easier to miss something low level, because we would all be rushing to get them ready and out of the door on time, as parents (understandably) complain if they're late.

By all means ask in the morning, it may be that the other children saw what happened and can help the teacher get to the bottom of it, but unless this happened much earlier in the day and he was left wet for hours, there's really not grounds for complaint. If it were our class, we'd apologise, do some investigating, and feed back to you at pick up.

Smartiepants79 · 12/10/2023 22:53

Who told you the other child had thrown water at him?
I have to say I too am struggling to understand what has happened here and how.
A bottle of water thrown at anyone is not going to soak all of their clothes, through a coat (which he must have been wearing if it was wet).
It’s also quite hard to throw water out of most kids water bottles as they often have spouts or straws.
Is this a full class of 30? Did this happen at the end of the day?
If this has happened much earlier in the day then it is poor that it was not noticed and dealt with.
If ( as I suspect) it has happened last thing, as they are all ready to go home sitting on the carpet in their coats, the he’s only going to have been wet for a few minutes.
By all means speak to school so they can be aware and hopefully it won’t be repeated. If you’ve never dealt with it though it’s difficult to appreciate the chaos that is getting a class of 5 year olds ready or go home!

Mumof2teens79 · 12/10/2023 23:20

I think people need to check the meaning of the word "soak"
To be soaked I woul expect to be able to wring water out of every item of clothing

Or was he just a bit damp/wet?

If his coat was wet then it either happened just before hometime...and if it was throwing water etc then that's what I would be bothered about, not whether they changed him or not.....or it happened this morning on way to school and he is still damp...did ot rain this morning?
Where do you keep the buggy, was that dry?

junbean · 12/10/2023 23:24

A thrown bottle of water doesn't soak through layers down to socks and underwear. Something else happened entirely. To me that's the concern, obviously there was an incident not easily overlooked. They weren't watching the children. I'd be very concerned.

PollyPut · 12/10/2023 23:50

Hmm. If you didn't notice he was wet, I can see why the staff didn't.

But throwing a bottle (if that is what really happened)? That's not good and needs to be followed up tomorrow. What if that hit a child on the head?

I wonder if this is really what happened here. It sounds like something else happened

Blondeshavemorefun · 13/10/2023 07:54

Agree if coat was soaked then couldn t have been in wet clothes all day

Coats are put on last 10m or so of the day

whereaw · 13/10/2023 08:07

I would be wanting to know what the school were going to do re the child who did it!!!

Shinyandnew1 · 13/10/2023 08:30

Was the water bottle thrown with no lid on? If the lid was on, I can’t imagine much came out? The only ‘soaking’ we get from water bottles at school is generally when the seal is broken/lid off and it’s left upside down for ages.

If your child is completely non-verbal (did you clarify that?) and can’t say when they are upset, then perhaps they need a picture card that if something is wrong, they can take to the teacher who can ask them to point to the problem.

If Bob accidentally threw a water bottle which got your child wet but Bob didn’t notice what he did, your child didn’t say anything and you didn’t even notice when strapping them in a pushchair, then it’s just one of those things. BUT, you can talk to the teacher about what’s happened (ie find out what happened) to try to prevent something similar happening in future? Your child needs a mechanism to explain what’s wrong, maybe the class need to discuss not throwing bottles etc

UsingChangeofName · 13/10/2023 20:02

So, @Bell17 , what was said today ?

Bell172 · 14/10/2023 11:27

I don’t know how to log back in so just an update for everyone. Now everything is just speculation as while my son does have speech it is limited and not always easy to understand and no teacher seen what actually happened.

but, apparently the other child had taken the lid off the water bottle and poured it on him. When I asked my son what he done after that he said he just sat there, which will be why the water had gone through his coat to his clothes.

so yeah I did notice his coat was wet, but I didnt think he was going to be as wet as he was, which is why I just planned on asking the teacher the next day. It just upset me that when I asked the teacher how it had happened he said nobody had seen it happen but that the carpet was wet.

its not that they didn’t notice he was wet that bothered me, just more so that something like that could happen and nobody seen it. That there has been a couple issues in the past few weeks where one or two children seem to be picking on him and he is just not speaking up about it. We are in the process of trying to get him a 1:1 but maybe mainstream just isn’t for him.

newYear10 · 14/10/2023 12:57

Op, you expect one pair of eyes to be on 30 kids all at once? And what kind of bottle was it for it to completely soak him through his jacket? Also, coats are put on at the end so surely the teacher must have been very busy at that time. I get that it's upsetting, but you absolutely cannot blame someone else when you yourself didn't notice. You noticed his jacket because you handled him, a teacher who saw all jackets on would not notice this at all.

Smartiepants79 · 14/10/2023 16:36

Also it is possible to teach your child to communicate that something has happened to him and he needs help without words.
Can you practice using some kind of signal- for you and school (he didn’t communicate his problem to you either until you questioned him)- just get him using the words help, please or similar? If he was able to tell you what had happened then he could learn to do this??

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