Been told I’m not concerned with the kids! (Teacher)

[feelingGuilty12]

I’m a supply teacher of humanities been doing it for nearly four years. I absolutely love it! After having my three kids I felt burnt out and depressed in a full time head of department role so I left and have done supply ever since. I am very good at my job which is evident by being offered a permanent post in every school I have gone to. This is all for context not a boast! I know I’m good at my job and I know schools value me. Also for context I can be a doormat and have a guilt complex which means I will destroy my own sanity rather than feel I’m letting anyone down.

It’s all worked out fine for me as I’m very clear to all schools I’ve been in from the start about my start and end date. I usually cover sickness, maternity or fill a post till new staff starts.

In my current job they have had a tough time, head of department left, then new teacher left, one off in sick etc. my end date is coming up and school has told me they want me to stay but I’ve told them I can’t. A teacher made lots of comments today how I’m letting down the kids and how unfair it is for them. I understand her points but I was only employed until a certain date, I stayed quiet during this rant. I feel upset as it’s not my job to find a permanent person and not my issue they didn’t prioritise this. I feel like saying I’ll stay a bit longer but I don’t know. What would you do?

If you stay a bit longer you'll only get the same thing when your next end date approaches. You've chosen to do supply, it works for you, so just crack on with looking for your next job.

If you like the job and want to stay, then you could offer to stay until they find someone else?

This is toxic please don't agree to stay.

If you stay they probably won't prioritise getting a replacement as they'll think you'll stay indefinitely until they do.

Red flags, staff leaving/ill/stressy and shouting at you.

Time for a new school

The agency person also called me saying they’ll never find anyone to replace me and I should think of the kids doing gcse and Alevels. I don’t particularly like the school but did it as short time contract.

My last head teacher had the nerve to say this to two teachers who left for better jobs. It’s rude and inaccurate.

They probably won't.

But that's not your problem, that's theirs.

Do you want to stay? If not don’t

I'm in a London borough and schools are desperately short staffed here. They're crying out for teachers whether they're good at their jobs or not, it makes little difference, so I've no doubt they'll be putting guilt on teachers to stay.

Do what you want to do, which is the whole idea of being supply staff.

That's a ridiculous thing to say, of course they'll find staff replacement unless they only use one agency.

The moment a school (never mind agencies, they're all about their cut and would send you to the worst place in the world if it meant they'd get more money out of it) starts piling on the 'You're letting the children down/we thought better of you' manipulation, it's time to move on.

You 100% just do what’s best for you.

It’s horrible emotional blackmail to manipulate you and good for you for having made your boundaries clear. Now just don’t engage or take on what she said. It is not your fault schools are in this state and not your role to fix it. You have found a working life that is sustainable so welldone.

Any kind of consideration in a situation evaporates when people become emotionally manipulative

You chose to work this way for a reason, live your life to suit you, they don't have your best interests at heart whatsoever and you owe no one an explanation.

What do YOU want to do? You gave up a permanent job to suit yourself. So suit yourself and don’t ever apologise for doing so.

I used to be a TA, I quit at Christmas once and my nasty piece of work line manager (who was the SENCO) hauled me into her office to berate me for attending an interview saying how unfair it was on the children to leave before July. (Secondary school)
I reported it to HR.
It's ridiculous, no other profession would have people guilted into staying like that. The children will be absolutely fine.

Will this affect the contracts your agency offers in future? Would you be unhappy if this school refused to ever have you on a short-term contract again? What I'm saying is; think about this from your own career point-of-view and if you can avoid doing anything that will adversely affect your career prospects in the future.

Also, if the school didn't want us any longer, they would drop us with a day's notice (this has happened to me before) so it should work both ways.

I wish they would be honest and say that if you leave it means more work for the staff left behind.
The kids will be fine, and in a few years' time they won't remember half the teachers' names.

Absolutely not! If the senior leaders at the
is school cared so much about the students’ experience, they would be running it as a place where staff felt supported and valued, instead of piling on emotional blackmail. Do not entertain this nonsense - you have made the career choices that do best by you and your family

Absolutely not.

Someone ranting at me about my pre agreed leaving date wouldn't get anywhere with me.

Stick to your plan.

I think the appropriate thing to say here is:-

“You know - it’s funny - I was about to contact my agency and talk about staying on here but after Susan’s rant I really don’t want to stay after all.”

honestly - if you bow to this pressure and stay, they’ll never change. Maybe if you stick to your guns they’ll recognise they have to change something… better for you, also probably better for the school.

edited for spag

You are not paid enough to deal with that attitude. The person who said that to you is extremely rude and you would have been within your rights to tell them so. A school's failure to recruit is not your problem. I'm sorry they made you feel bad. The fact you feel bad shows you do care a lot.