Been told I’m not concerned with the kids! (Teacher)

[feelingGuilty12]

I’m a supply teacher of humanities been doing it for nearly four years. I absolutely love it! After having my three kids I felt burnt out and depressed in a full time head of department role so I left and have done supply ever since. I am very good at my job which is evident by being offered a permanent post in every school I have gone to. This is all for context not a boast! I know I’m good at my job and I know schools value me. Also for context I can be a doormat and have a guilt complex which means I will destroy my own sanity rather than feel I’m letting anyone down.

It’s all worked out fine for me as I’m very clear to all schools I’ve been in from the start about my start and end date. I usually cover sickness, maternity or fill a post till new staff starts.

In my current job they have had a tough time, head of department left, then new teacher left, one off in sick etc. my end date is coming up and school has told me they want me to stay but I’ve told them I can’t. A teacher made lots of comments today how I’m letting down the kids and how unfair it is for them. I understand her points but I was only employed until a certain date, I stayed quiet during this rant. I feel upset as it’s not my job to find a permanent person and not my issue they didn’t prioritise this. I feel like saying I’ll stay a bit longer but I don’t know. What would you do?

I’ve worked in the NHS so know how awful it is when another good member of staff says they are leaving or a good agency staff comes to the end of their placement. It’s not okay but I’ve often heard people try and pressure others into staying. I think it’s more out of desperation than malice. But of course, that’s not your problem and if you don’t want to turn into that person on the other end then it’s time to leave and go to your next school. It sounds like this type of working is keeping you in teaching so overall it’s best for you and the kids you teach long term.

It depends why you got in to teaching and why you left teaching.

Yes, the kids will suffer. That’s obvious, however it isn’t your responsibility: I say this as the department and school sound like it has a horrid culture and cannot retain staff. That isn’t your doing. Yes, you could stay and we all know the kids would be better off however would your mental health cope? Would you be as good a teacher forcing yourself to stay? You sound excellent at your job however the are lots of good teachers out there who could do a similar job as supply so don’t let them guilt you.

also, your agency wants a finders fee from the school so ignore them. If they really cared about the kids and their education they wouldn’t rinse the schools budgets helping to staff..

A teacher made lots of comments today how I’m letting down the kids and how unfair it is for them. I understand her points but I was only employed until a certain date, I stayed quiet during this rant.

You sat there and said nothing at all. What happened then? I would have just walked off!

Similar happened to my mum OP.
She was retired but got called back to take on a really really difficult year 4 class (they had been through 4 teachers before February half term!) It was meant to be for 3 weeks, to literally do boot camp (she had a reputation for being extremely firm but very fair) for 3 weeks until they could employ a permanent teacher who could handle them - she was still there in June. Each time it got pushed back and she didn't feel she could leave them. I think in the end she saw them as a project and actually enjoyed it (and the extra money), but it wasn't very well handled.

I also do supply after teaching full time from 1988 to 2019 and then full/part time on short term contracts for most if the time since then. I’ve taken some roles in fear of what refusal might do to my employment potential but you know what? I’ve said screw it now. I do what pleases me. You should do the same.

I'd be going back saying that you did think about it, but after the complete disrespect you were shown when you've fulfilled your part of the contract makes it clear the school is not a good fit for you. I'd email that to the flipping teacher as well if they kept on that vein.

If they were willing to sit down with you and have a proper conversation about options and whether you'd be willing to stay, that would be one thing.The emotional blackmail and misdirected anger and blame though? Fuck that shit. I wouldn't just walk, I'd run.

@feelingGuilty12 The headteacher's failure to even ask you says a lot. It takes minutes to check if you'd be willing to stay and plan what that looks like for you and the school.

It's not your job to solve their problems. Their senior leadership team is paid considerably more than you to deal with this and it's them failing the children by not being organised.

Definitely sounds like a them problem, not a you problem.

I expect whomever spoke to you was utterly convinced you'd snap their hand off for extra work & banked on it, then was disappointed when you said no so snapped.

Totally rude of them to turn it around on you and say you're letting the kids down. Erm, no. You're not.

Do whatever you want to do? Stay longer if you need/want the work.

Don't if you had something else planned, don't feel guilty.

why do you feel guilt other places have asked you to stay and you havent

just move on

As a fellow supply teacher, don’t let them guilt you into staying if you don’t want to! The kids will cope, as will the staff! You have done your job and completed your contract!

It’s amazing how nobody is guilt tripping all the men in this country to have to work in schools on low pay for the good of the children. No, the male dominated transport areas - which deliberately exclude and intimidate women - are hardly likely to be asked to work for nothing for the public good. How much of a pay rise did they get offered again? Yet women regularly face this crap.

It isn’t letting kids down to insist on decent working conditions. Quite the opposite. We’d all be Victorian serfs without the work of Unions, and particularly women’s rights activists. I have no gratitude for the way the ladders have been kicked away since I was a kid, have you?

I'm a retired headteacher and my advice is to do what's best for YOU! I can assure you that if a school needed to cut their budget and make staff redundant, they'd do that, regardless of your personal circumstances. I know that staff give huge amounts of time and energy to their jobs and that's more than enough - honestly it is! Please don't be guilt tripped - put yourself and your own family first because nobody else will.

Have you got something else lined up?

I had this once years ago with an agency. The school reduced my supply days down and I only found out when I turned up for my normal day and was told they didn’t need me on this day anymore just the other two. They had only told the agency the day before.

The agency didn’t bother to tell me. When I then decided to leave as I had a permanent job offer elsewhere the agency tried to manipulate me into staying even though I gave a weeks notice ( supply don’t need to give the usual notice) and said I should stay as the school needed me.

When I reminded them that I had received barely any notice for them reducing my days and thus my pay they told me I should be the better person! I didn’t stay.

1. Agencies only want the money.
2. Schools have no compunction about letting agency staff go at extremely short notice if it suits them.

If you are a good teacher they will use tactics like you mentioned to guilt trip you. It’s wrong as they would not offer you the same consideration if they didn’t need you anymore.

Had they asked nicely and said how much they appreciated you and that they understood that they were asking a lot, then maybe.

After ranting at you and emotionally blackmailing you it would be a hard no.

They need to look at the way they treat people and then they might not have such a high turnover.

All of the above and also I hope you recognise that excellent supply teachers are needed by schools, and especially by students. That teacher was only thinking about their school and not the others that you will benefit by continuing in your supply role. The guilt trip was wrong on many many levels

They have read you (almost correctly) as someone who has heartstrings that can be pulled on. It seems like you've just discovers boundaries and self care recently- well done and keep it up. Doesn't mean that others will like it though.
You can't control what they say about your boundaries but you can control if you act on what they say.
Stay strong op xx

Ps there's probably an element of jealousy there too

But why did they ask for someone on such a short contract then?

I think the way they spoke to you reveals a lot about why they can’t find someone to fill the post and have struggled to recruit.

Do not stay - it will get worse. They’ll push the boundary again.

It is sad for the kids, but you can’t stay because this is what your job is, and you’re not going to be bullied into it.

How awful. Their toxic blame culture is most likely why they are losing so many staff. The kids are not your responsibility. I would be feeding that back!