Silly school idea?

[IzTed]

I have one DD, she’s 4, not long started reception. Her school allows/encourages nursery & reception pupils parents to stay and read with them every morning from 8.45-9.15. In Y1&2 this changes to just 1 day a week.
Most parents don’t stay (the kids then read in groups with the teacher/TA, but between 5 and 10 seem to at least on the couple of days I’ve managed to stay.
I work full time, as does my DH and we don’t have any local family.
Every week since school started DD has been upset atleast once if not more that we haven’t been able to stay and read.
She goes to breakfast club sometimes but DH and I both have the chance to work from home sometimes but even then I have a team meeting at 9 I have to lead and can’t miss. DH is in the same boat a lot.
I do my best on WFH days to condense my hours, drop her off to class myself and pick her up but that’s the best I can do. DH is the same and some days she has to do breakfast club and after school club. I know this is all normal and most parents are in the same situation.
Today DD came out of school and got upset immediately asking me to please stay for reading tomorrow, I just can’t and neither can DH, infact tomorrow is a breakfast and afterschool club day.

AIBU to think this is a silly idea and quite exclusionary? I’d get it if it was once a month or something or once a half-term but everyday? And next year every week? There will be some weeks if not most where we just can’t stay.

So because you can't do it you don't think anyone else should be allowed to ?

I did this with my children when they were younger many years ago, they are 18 and 22 now, so it's not a new thing. To be honest l think the novelty wears off after a while and they prefer you don't do it !

Its a nice idea, but would be very upsetting for children whose parents that can't do it. Extra people in the room can stress some of the children as well.

Once a month can't one of you build it into your day? I don't think missing one morning call every 2 months would lead to any issues at work

It seems a bit excessive to me yes. Once a week sounds better.

Can't you move things around to do it maybe once a term? And maybe hubby do the same?

Or tell child that you don't come in because you have your special reading club and home where you both snuggle up on the sofa and read together on an evening instead?

That's crazy. We have maybe two afternoons a year where we are invited in and depending on when they are in the week we might not be able to make it.

Every day is going to lead to loads of upset for lots of them surely? And must make it more difficult for them to settle in Reception if their parents are in and out. I would massively resent this.

It’s a great idea, if this isn’t part of your ethos change schools.
Just because you can’t doesn’t mean others should be restricted.

When I was on work experience in a year 1 class many years ago now they did "book and biscuit" once a week. Parents could come and read a book with their child one morning a week and the child would get a biscuit but only if their parent came! One little girl went to breakfast club so her parents never came. Every week I was there she would read with me instead. Each time she would ask for a biscuit and the teacher would tell her no. Every time, she cried and it would break my heart. It was awful. I've never forgotten her. She was called Naomi and she will be 26 now.

Take a sick day and put her first.

For heaven's sake as though handover isn't hard enough for some kids. Let's drag it out a little bit more why don't we? YANBU

I think it’s a nice idea but every day is a bit over the top. Once a month would be enough!

Swings and roundabouts.

I used to go into infant school to help when the children were first there, and go to assemblies etc for the few years I was a SAHM. We never had any spare money, and certainly no foreign holidays or music lessons, etc. Those luxuries eventually came when I was working, and then didn't have time to go into school.

Wow wow. We do go, in the month or so school has been in I’ve been 3 times I think DH has done the same.I can’t take a sick day every day or every week for that matter as then I’d lose my job!!
If this was a once a month thing I could take it in turns with DH to have a morning off but every single day?
Obviously we read at home every day, I just hate seeing DD upset because we can’t be there to read everyday and it seems unfair to have it daily.

So if parents are working they're not putting their children first?

I think that’s different. They still have parents help with other things but it’s one or two parents at a time. This is several parents everyday and the kids who’s parents can’t go in read in groups of 10 instead of 1-1 with a parent it’s noticeable to the kids.

I think the problem here is that the 1-1 reading isn’t shared around? Which does seem unusual. We had parents who’d come in a read but they would take a range of DC, not their child.

You aren't unreasonable to be unable to stay every day. You have a job. It's fine. You should make a commitment to your dd for a regular slot you can do - say 1st Thursday of each month or somesuch. Nominate a deputy to take the 9am meeting and brief you later fir that one day, as a management development opportunity for them.

The school aren't unreasonable to be offering this opportunity. Absolutely the strongest factor in predicting educational ourcomes fir KS1 kids is how engaged with reading they are with their parents - do they read together, do they have lots of books at home and do they see their parents reading for pleasure. I mean this kindly but I think we can deduce from the fact you have a job where you are in a leadership role that you are not the target audience for this activity. The school are desperately trying to engage with the mums who didn't come out with much education themselves, who don't now have a job (or a low paying job) and who have low expectations for what school will do for their child.

It's a shame that your dd is upset but I think it's better to work on helping your dd to understand that you are juggling lots of different needs, and that nost days people at work need you and your pay for being there is what pays for food and house and cinema trips so you can't just not do it, but you can come into school once a month and will really look forward to it every month.

Yes, it's a bit bonkers. No, most people who work FT cannot go into work late several times a week or once a week or even once a month. Can you imagine the outrage if your GP didn't show up for your appointment because they decided to go listen to their child read instead? Or a teacher didn't show up to teach until 9:30 once a week because they were at their own child's school? What about bus drivers and shop workers and the vast majority of working people who don't work from home?

I have a very flexible cushy professional job that allows me to generally move my schedule around to suit my life. I am at every parent's evening and sports day and homework sharing afternoon and nativity play, but even I could not be late to work one to several morning a week. It's a silly idea.

It's to encourage reading with parents, which in itself is great, but that should be encouraged at home anyway. And yes, children should read, but at our school, they read to volunteers (not the parents of anyone in the class, but sometimes they are parents or school governors or people from the village who volunteer - all DBS checked, etc.) or they read to other students. If nothing else, from a risk assessment standpoint, it sounds like a nightmare. At our school, all parents have to be checked in through the main office, and have our photos taken, and we're given colour coded lanyards and have to be escorted by a member of staff with DBS at all times to even enter the classrooms. If you need to use the loo, a staff member needs to leave the children to take you there and back, etc.

Curious, have they had to extend their teaching time by any chance? At our school, this year they've been required by the LA to add an extra 30 minutes of classroom time to the school day. The school has creatively added a 'daily assembly' that they never used to have to fill this time without adding more to teacher workloads. I wonder if this is similar - a way to demonstrate they are doing more 'teaching' but without it being an extra teaching for already overloaded teaching staff.

@IzTed - no different to parents attending the numerous assemblies or similar events. I always had younger children in tow, so sometimes it was difficult to do anything on my own in school. That shouldn't have stopped parents with just the one child getting involved in what was happening. My kids would have loved to go the afterschool club because of the friendships that happened there, but that didn't happen. No-one gets to have everything run smoothly for them, as everyone's circumstances are different.

YABU.
Just because you work full time doesn’t mean there can’t be regular things for parents who are available and want to get involved. And I say that as a parent who works full time.

Schools are expected to involve parents, it will be something they can tell Ofsted they are doing. I used to be a Reception teacher and wouldn't have liked it for the reasons given above. I think it would be more disruptive than anything. We used to invite parents in for 'fun' afternoons once a half-term related to different curriculum areas with educational games they could play with their children. There would still be some who couldn't come but some took time off or changed shifts round.

I have sympathy with you but schools are expected to do something.

We one morning a week, always the same day. A day I can't do. I would love if it was every day as it would massively increase my chance of making it at least once a fortnight!

Would she find it easier if you had a regular time where you stayed as read with her rather than it being ad-hoc?
Every other Monday for example with you and your partner alternating?

Genuinely not sure if it's the same thing, but many years ago, when mine were young, I volunteered at school to do 'reading practice '.
It never occurred to me to wonder where other parents were, I never had a child upset because mum or dad wasn't there, and never heard a word of criticism from staff, so what's the problem????
Some parents work, some parents aren't really interested in being involved, some parents simply can't because of other obligations.

So what? I understand the hand wringing, I'd have probably been the same, but honestly, fast forward 5 years and no one even remembers whether you were there or not x

We would struggle to guarantee any day, my partner is freelance and works in TV, his schedule can range from a week of WFH to working 6am-8pm for two weeks.
I’m also in a management role in the creative industries, my workload fluctuates, and once every 3 months I have to work abroad for a week.
Id hate to promise a day and then be unable to make it. We go as often as we can.