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Original poster

To consider ending a friendship over differing political beliefs?

114 replies

HelloBridesmaidLiketheBeard · 12/10/2023 10:01

If a friend suddenly voiced political beliefs that you strongly disagree with, do you think the friendship can survive?

I have friends with varying beliefs, some like mine, some not, but if someone has a HUGELY different opinion and is vehement in it, do you think it's possible to maintain that friendship?

I'm feeling very conflicted after a rather eye-opening conversation the other day with a friend, and I can't get her words out of my mind.

OP posts:
dcsp · 12/10/2023 16:59

It really depends what you mean by "voiced political beliefs that you strongly disagree with".

On the one hand, there are beliefs that I disagree strongly with that're still within the spectrum of (what I'd consider to be) acceptable views. I could be friends with someone holding those kinds of beliefs.

On the other hand, there are people who have strongly racist or homophobic views, which I wouldn't think of as merely a political disagreement, but they'd probably frame it as such. I couldn't be friends with someone like that.

Doggymummar · 12/10/2023 17:00

I cut my parents off for supporting farage so yes I would ditch a friend

bombastix · 12/10/2023 17:02

You should be to disagree and not personalize politics; but probably everyone has a point where something is said that casts that person very differently in your mind.

Even then, I would try not to let it affect a friendship, but both people should agree not to revisit the issue and mean it.

Zebedee55 · 12/10/2023 17:03

There used to be a rule in pubs: no religion, football or politics.

That works for me - I just don't have these discussions with friends. They have their views, I have mine.

No worries.🙂

EasternStandard · 12/10/2023 17:04

I love a good political discussion

With family and some obliging friends

I’m much better now than when I was younger and easily reactive. Now I want to hear views. All good

Sunplant · 12/10/2023 17:08

It would depend . If they had extreme views eg were members of the BNP, Britain First or any conspiracy type groups then no I couldn't be friends with them. If they just backed a different political party than me then I could stay friends but to be honest all my close friends do have similar views to me.

bombastix · 12/10/2023 17:12

Conspiracy theory either left or right is a bit different to politics. Believing in conspiracies is where you are led about by the nose and don't have your own mind. That is rather sad, and not much basis for a friendship because that person is cultish. They become isolated that way.

Different politics where someone has their own view, okay. You can put that aside and find something else. A conspiracy theorist has a sad, semi religious or cultish hive mind. Not friendship material.

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz12 · 12/10/2023 17:14

Not unless they suddenly became a different person. I like my friends for who they are as a person, not because we agree on everything

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz12 · 12/10/2023 17:18

Now if they were constantly trying to change my political beliefs I'd have an issue, but I would with anyone that does that because it is insufferable and a bit arrogant to think you are superior and everyone else should do/believe what you do

Lottapianos · 12/10/2023 17:19

I have a friend who reads the Daily Mail, is a Brexiteer and might as well be president of the Boris Johnson fan club. She literally thinks he can do, and has done, no wrong. We've had one row about it and it was horrible. I've decided that I'm never ever talking politics with her ever again. That's fine, we have plenty of other stuff to talk about. Honestly though, I've lost some respect for her, especially over the Johnson stuff

Spinet · 12/10/2023 17:22

It's difficult when people's views affect your own way of life. So for me I struggle not to be angry with Brexit voters because I feel that they have taken something away from me and my children (particularly my children).

But I would always try to reach for the common ground if I had a relationship with someone. Connection is mostly always better than conflict. That seems really important at the moment.

Oblomov23 · 12/10/2023 17:22

Doubt it, not unless very extremist.

Didimum · 12/10/2023 17:25

No I wouldn’t. I once had a friend who said she would never be friends with anyone who voted Tory as they would be evil people. I’ve not ever voted Tory and our political beliefs aligned, but I thought she was terrible immature and short-sighted to say that.

verdantverdure · 12/10/2023 17:27

I wouldn't do well with racism, anti-semitism or conspiracy theories.

But I think getting rid of the Brexit millstone from around our necks is absolutely essential to getting this country back on it's feet again and I have friends and family that voted for it.

Mamai90 · 12/10/2023 17:28

Most of my friends are left leaning, I didn't seek them out to be like that, I have had friends with right wing views but we never discussed politics.

My SIL though who I'm very fond of has always been a very empathetic person, she'd do anything for anyone but she's never watched the news in her life, doesn't read anything and never had any interest in that sort of thing. Though recently she's started to complain about refugees, stating 'facts' that she has no evidence for. She spends a lot of time on TikTok and told me she gets her information from the videos and then reads the comments. It's very easy to end up on racist TikTok, the algorithm will just follow what you're looking at. More recently she's become Trumps biggest cheerleader, she doesn't keep these opinions to herself either and it's driving DH and I mad. I wouldn't even mind as much if she'd based it off doing her research and coming to that conclusion herself but she's getting her information from TikTok videos. She's a decent human being, that's why it's difficult to see her go over to the dark side.

I'll be distancing myself a little from her because she's not discreet about her views, if she didn't mention them then I guess it would be easier.

ManchesterLu · 12/10/2023 17:29

I don't have an issue with people having differing opinions to mine. What I object to is either a) them talking about them excessively or b) trying to change my mind about them.

Healthy debate is fine, but you get to a point where you have to agree to disagree. If you can't do that, you have to walk away for your own sake.

Chiaseedling · 12/10/2023 17:30

Depends on the views expressed.
Complete conspiracy theorist, racist, antisemite, homophobic etc - no thanks.
Someone who voted Leave - I’d think they were deluded but wouldn’t leave the friendship

Flibbertygibbetty · 12/10/2023 17:32

Agree with PP “connection is better than conflict”. If you fall out with those whose views you dislike the world becomes increasingly dividedinto smaller and smaller groups of like minded people until they find a new issue to disagree on.

. I don’t want my views to be set in stone, as new experiences, articles, influences, conversations are constantly shaping my thoughts. Nowadays I hate the thought of being narrow and always ‘right’ and try very hard (don’t always succeed) to hold myself open to hearing other opinions and asking more, not just shutting things down or arguing, although I do have some very strong deeply held values. It makes life a lot more interesting.

verdantverdure · 12/10/2023 17:34

I probably disagree strongly about something with everyone I know.

But we also have things in common.

I may not understand why anyone would vote to be lied to again by the current conspiracy theory-promoting, 1930s Germany rhetoric-spouting, economy-wrecking iteration of the Tory party that has neglected their responsibilities to the extent that we don't even have room to put rapists in prison and our schools and hospitals are literally crumbling, but I wouldn't fall out over it.

verdantverdure · 12/10/2023 17:35

I don't blame people for voting Brexit.

The Leave campaigns spent a lot of time and money finding out who could be manipulated and how best to manipulate them.

DOmeafavor · 12/10/2023 17:44

Depends on how tolerant you are, doesn’t it?

I note that after a general election, the only time there are protests is if a Tory has been elected (“Not my PM” they chant).

If you’re a leftie who detests Tories, you’ll have plenty of company.

Oliotya · 12/10/2023 17:52

It clearly depends what the belief is, how vehemently it is held and how your own beliefs differ.
There is no black and white answer.

Roselilly36 · 12/10/2023 18:05

I wouldn’t stop a friendship due to opposing views. One of my best friends has opposite views to me on certain matters, neither of us push our views on each other and respect each other’s opinions.

threecupsofteaminimum · 12/10/2023 18:10

Not sure i could be proper friends with someone if discussing current affairs wasn't allowed but perhaps I'm unusual. I don't like talking about other people or the mundane. Suspect it's cos im older and have a smaller group of friends and steer away from small talk.

HeadAgainstWall0923 · 12/10/2023 18:11

Yesterday a colleague and friend of mine posted something on FB about a current political issue and her stance is the exact opposite of mine. We’ve never had a discussion about it as I find political discussions can be a nightmare, but seeing her FB post has really knocked me off and I’m just praying to God that it’s a conversation that never arises.

It would be so awkward and I don’t think our working/personal relationship would survive it.