To consider ending a friendship over differing political beliefs?

[HelloBridesmaidLiketheBeard]

If a friend suddenly voiced political beliefs that you strongly disagree with, do you think the friendship can survive?

I have friends with varying beliefs, some like mine, some not, but if someone has a HUGELY different opinion and is vehement in it, do you think it's possible to maintain that friendship?

I'm feeling very conflicted after a rather eye-opening conversation the other day with a friend, and I can't get her words out of my mind.

I think I only have two "out" Tory friends who are both a bit "wheee, who cares, I don't give a toss, I just want to pay less tax" but statistically there must be more of them than that, I know a lot of people!

There’s no correct answer here. You have every right to choose who you hang around with and for any reason.

As it happens, my husband and his best mate have completely opposite political views, but they are very close, and share lots of other passions and interests. They just don't talk about politics!

It depends on what they're saying, why they think it and whether they can discuss it in a calm rational manner.

For example, two people might both believe we should end all immigration. One might just hate foreigners, one might look at it from an economic point of view and see it as a drain on resources. Both or neither might be able to justify their point of view with evidence, be able to persuade you they are right, or you be able to persuade them they're not.

If you end a friendship over something like this it wasn't a very solid friendship in the first place. Friends should be able to discuss and (politely) argue about politics.

It depends upon whether the Friend is trying to impose their views on others, whether their political beliefs dominate every conversation to the point where nobody else can speak etc etc.
I have a friend who I've known since I was about 3. Haven't seen her for years but she is a Facebook friend. I have her on unfollow because I got a bit tired of her constant stream of shrieky far left beliefs in which if anyone has the temerity to challenge her, are informed they must be a Nazi/bigot/gammon etc.
Her FB profile picture is a Palestinian flag at the moment, predictably

In principle no, I wouldn’t end a friendship because it’s not healthy to live in an echo chamber, people come to their views in a variety of ways often based on their own particular experiences and people also change over time. A bit of healthy debate is good. I do have good friends with wildly different opinions to me (religion, abortion politics etc), some I’d discuss these things with and some I’d steer clear.

On the other hand it can be hard with close friends when you find out you’re got wildly different opinions on something. Recent example for me was a good friend who teaches in an all girls school telling me how proud she was that all their toilets were now marked as gender neutral. They hadn’t previously been marked as anything other than “toilet” so it’s not even a case of being inclusive to the girls who don’t identify as girls (and even then their refusal to identify as a girl doesn’t seem to have put them off attending a very highly regarded girls school so I’d query how necessary it was to change toilet signage in any case)

I knew I didn’t agree with her on the trans debate but I was taken aback that she couldn’t see the pointlessness of the toilet signs and I found myself just feeling incredibly irritated by her. We won’t stop being friends but I have had to say let’s agree to disagree on all of that because otherwise I think we might fall out.

Why on earth do all your friends have to agree with you?

FGS I’d drop you faster than a hot rock!

No I wouldn't end a friendship because a friend had different beliefs to me, I think you need to have your beliefs challenged now and then.

It depends on how they live their lives and how it affects their personality and my enjoyment of them. I don't really mind people having different views to me and some friends do. However very socialist people are unlikely to match my personality and lifestyle. It's not their views that bother me at all, we just might not have the same way of life that lends itself to time together

I’d struggle to be close friends with someone who had views that I thought were borne of ignorance.

Depends on "friends" or "close friend".

"Close friend" - I can understand how it can feel more disappointing, even if it doesn't challenge the safe space of sharing mind, but as long as the friend comes across as open minded and willing to listen and probabably has tendency to be flippant, no need to drop like hot potato right away.

It depends if their
Beliefs are extreme and inflammatory then I could understand b you not wishing to.pursue the friendship
But if ,its just she votes for a different mainstream party than you
I would think you were quite arrogant in believing your political beliefs are more important than hers

Loads of my friends have differing political views, it’s not why I’m friends with them.

Now if they started turning into conspiracy nuts then yes, I would have to reevaluate the friendship, because it’s incredibly tiring being around people like that.

*and I had someone who was pretty homophobic (East european), kept sending me moral panic news stories, anti-vax, read too much conspiracy theories and had a habit of wanting to challenge "my status quo mainstream beliefs" like hot head.

That made me go off her and want to keep distance on whatsapp.

So, idk...epends on how annoying they are about it.

Depends really, if it’s just they vote Tory then no. I have friends who voted for brexit who I didn’t drop. If it was someone who joined a Nazi group for example, then I wouldn’t want to be friends with them.

I have a couple of ultra woke friends who do my head in sometimes with the virtue signalling and worthiness but ultimately they’ve been good friends to me over the years.

We don’t have to all agree on everything

One of my friends cut me out of her life because I voted against Scottish Independence. Said she couldn’t be friends with what she called a Westminster sheep ! 🤷‍♀️I laughed.

I ended one long standing friendship because she met a new bloke, went on holiday, and came back spouting openly racist views. I ended a second because she had an affair, plus there was a load of shitty behaviour related to that. It made me see both of them in a completely new light.

you need to take a trip up to scotland!!! different political beliefs have broken apart families and friends alike!! me and my sis have not spoken for a few years due to politics!! I and many others hate the SNP and what they have done to scotland but her hubby loves them!

My friends and I never discuss politics , it's a route to upset

Very true 👏

Honestly I think you need to consider why people have those beliefs, and if you can understand how their life experiences have taken them to their views.

Eg a woman who has had absolute heartbreak over fertility/miscarriages having a pro-life approach is much more understandable than a man who just wants to control women.

One of my friends votes Tory, she's had a pretty shit start in life and through absolute hardwork and determination she has achieved her goals. She thinks if she can do it, why can't other people and people shouldn't get handouts. She's also from a very Tory, countryside area and involved with the rural community. I don't agree with her, but I can understand her approach.

For me this reasoning is really important and I would consider this before cutting a friend off.

It depends on how extreme they are. I have friends who have different politics but nobody who is on an extreme.

I have cut contact with one friend, several years ago now, who married someone and took on their very extreme views. They would take over every conversation talking about how wrong homosexuality was (they felt it should be illegal), that there was no reason ever to leave a marriage if you had children as a two parent family was the only solution (the final straw for me was when they severely criticised a friend for “not putting her children first” when she left a DV situation), there should be no benefits system as there’s no such thing as being too disabled to work and if you need benefits you should have your children removed. The views spouted about immigrants and asylum seekers were unrepeatable and got more extreme as time went on. It was relentless and they just became a person I didn’t want to have anything to do with.

Me too but its their followers who are the sheep! sad times but it looks like we might escape their clutches in the next few of years! lets hope scotland is not bankrupt before that happens!

Depends what they are. If someone supports the Nazis/ Britain First/ ISIS, I would certainly not wish to continue friendship with them. If they voted Tory, I would disagree with them but it wouldn't prevent me from being their friend.

My partner and I have completely opposite political views. Sometimes I do think whether it is possible to maintain a relationship in the long term with someone with such strong views but somehow we manage. We do have a lot of discussions, quite heated at times. But we had a very different upbringing, values and life experiences so it is to be expected. The only thing I dislike is when he makes comments about things he knows nothing about based on echo chamber content on social media. I just try to encourage him to look at historical context and do a bit of reading around the subject. I think it is healthy to disagree and I wouldn't end a friendship or relationship over this. And people do change their minds even about things you would assume were ingrained. Like one of my previously openly homophobic friends who is absolutely horrified that she ever held these views.

I think it depends. 'I am voting brexit because I believe each country should be responsible for its own economy and free to make its own trade deals' or 'I vote tory because I get to keep more of my salary' I'd disagree with opinion and logic but wouldn't affect my opinion.

'I am voting brexit because foreigners are awful' or 'I vote tory because its peoples own fault they are poor and they deserve to rot' , then no I couldn't be friends with someone with those beliefs