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AIBU?

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Original poster

Boyfriend turning his phone off at night time

63 replies

Needtoknow89 · 11/10/2023 20:55

When I stay over he's started leaving it in another room turned off? Does this mean he's cheating? He smokes weed and often gets shady characters texting offers! But it's likely a woman isn't it

OP posts:
10HailMarys · 11/10/2023 21:52

You sound like a drama queen and he sounds like a depressed stoner. You’re incredibly incompatible and your relationship sounds like hard work on both sides.

SpacePotato · 11/10/2023 21:54

You should instead be asking yourself why you have such low standards or self esteem to put up with a weed smoking man who has a history of messaging other women.

Gnomegnomegnome · 11/10/2023 22:00

Ditching social media and putting his phone in another room at night is fantastic for his mental health.

Weed isn’t.
I’m going to guess from your paranoia that you are also a weed user?

Why are you with him?

cartagenagina · 11/10/2023 22:03

Needtoknow89 · 11/10/2023 21:39

He may not want calls and texts flashing up when I'm here

Are you a dope user OP? You sound paranoid.

Unless you already know he’s a cheat, in which case why are you still there?

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 11/10/2023 22:05

A stoner with a history of messaging other women

Come on now

Nanny0gg · 11/10/2023 22:18

Needtoknow89 · 11/10/2023 21:39

He may not want calls and texts flashing up when I'm here

Why on earth are you with him?

Do you not think you can do better?

Vikingess · 11/10/2023 22:21

Why don’t you ask him?

BarelyCoping123 · 11/10/2023 22:28

This relationship seems awful

TheSquareMile · 11/10/2023 22:30

Needtoknow89 · 11/10/2023 21:10

It's a new thing. He's depressed at the moment and our sex life has 90% stopped. Earlier he said he couldn't remember who but someone's told him our puppy breed (frenchie and pug) is likely getting banned but can't recall who he's been talking to about our puppy. He has a history of messaging other women especially with his ex. He came off all social media six months ago. I'm just feeling very untrusting. Apart from the fact you shouldn't be with someone you don't trust I'm just looking to see what this could be about..I feel ge either owes money or a woman's on the scene

I looked up the thing about the dogs, as I hadn't heard it.

It sounds as though the idea is something which got some press coverage last year, but there is no evidence as far as I can see that there are concrete plans re these dogs. These things can run and run on social media, but it doesn't mean that the posts reflect the real position.

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/french-bulldog-pugs-breeding-ban-norway-b2008332.html

French Bulldogs and Pugs also in danger of breeding ban, vet says

Flat-faced dogs struggle to breathe and easily overheat, Dr Scott Miller says

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/french-bulldog-pugs-breeding-ban-norway-b2008332.html

AmandasFleckerl · 11/10/2023 22:32

He smokes weed and often gets shady characters texting offers!

And yet you’re worrying about him switching off his phone? Good grief.

Therealjudgejudy · 11/10/2023 22:32

He smokes weed and has a history of texting other women.... why are your standards so low?

43ontherocksporfavor · 11/10/2023 22:32

If he smokes weed, move on!

LovefromIris · 11/10/2023 22:34

I would say always trust your gut. My ex used to turn his phone off when he stayed over at mine and leave it in his coat pocket downstairs. I found it really suspicious and it turned out he was cheating and didn’t want messages from other women flashing up when he was at my house. He also used recreational drugs so would turn it off so dealers wouldn’t ring him as I was trying to get him to stop. My advice would be, if you think it’s off, it’s probably off. Needless to say he’s now my ex for these reasons and your boyfriends actions are throwing up huge red flags for me. I’d be out of there!
Like people have said, he might just have very healthy ‘no blue light before bed’ habits but if he’s not that way inclined and your instincts are saying it’s more sinister then I’d trust what your gut is telling you.

CoreopsisEverywhere · 11/10/2023 22:43

He sounds awful, but I think that the phone is the least of your worries.

fwiw I turn my phone off and leave it in an other room and I am not a drug dealer or cheating. I’m a light sleeper and the slightest flash or sound wakes me up.

QS90 · 11/10/2023 22:48

Who cares if he's cheating? Bin him off!!

QS90 · 11/10/2023 22:52

TheSquareMile · 11/10/2023 22:30

I looked up the thing about the dogs, as I hadn't heard it.

It sounds as though the idea is something which got some press coverage last year, but there is no evidence as far as I can see that there are concrete plans re these dogs. These things can run and run on social media, but it doesn't mean that the posts reflect the real position.

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/french-bulldog-pugs-breeding-ban-norway-b2008332.html

Show quote history

Looks like just the breeding of them too? Not that someone will round all the existing ones up!

AuroraForever · 11/10/2023 23:05

It would be much easier to just ask him why he turns his phone off and puts it in another room instead of blowing up a drama when there most likely isn’t one.

C1N1C · 11/10/2023 23:10

If you're worried, the test of any relationship is "I left my phone at home (or it is on charge), I need to send some flowers to x as its their birthday, can I use yours?"

If they act all cagey, they're either chestinf or doing something wrong, like drugs. I'd hand mine over to my partner in a heartbeat.

Hiding his phone in the other room is not a good sign. Who does that??? Just turn it off and leave it by the side of your bed at night.

DdraigGoch · 12/10/2023 01:46

The drugs alone are a cast-iron reason to chuck him.

determinedtomakethiswork · 12/10/2023 02:15

XenoBitch · 11/10/2023 21:44

This is far from a red flag. I would even say it is a green flag. People are too attached to their phones nowadays.

Yes, except when the phone owner is a druggie cheat

QueenBitch666 · 12/10/2023 02:19

Needtoknow89 · 11/10/2023 21:10

It's a new thing. He's depressed at the moment and our sex life has 90% stopped. Earlier he said he couldn't remember who but someone's told him our puppy breed (frenchie and pug) is likely getting banned but can't recall who he's been talking to about our puppy. He has a history of messaging other women especially with his ex. He came off all social media six months ago. I'm just feeling very untrusting. Apart from the fact you shouldn't be with someone you don't trust I'm just looking to see what this could be about..I feel ge either owes money or a woman's on the scene

Your post lost all credibility with your interbred brachycephalic puppy. Shame on you

Millybob · 12/10/2023 02:20

I can't remember who I was talking to last week about a good Netflix series (insert any topic of your choice) but I'm pretty sure I wasn't having an affair with them.

Blackandwhitemakesgrey · 12/10/2023 02:21

I think it sounds like he's trying to stop calls/texts from flashing up.

Instead of leaving it in another room, he could just turn it off but that would arouse more suspicion from you so instead he leaves it in another room.

I think you're probably right. Sorry OP.

Mydogmybestfriend · 12/10/2023 02:30

Of course he is cheating probably with his ex
Why do women ignore blantent red flags

ChekhovsMum · 12/10/2023 02:31

He doesn’t ‘smoke weed’.

He ‘often has people texting offers’.

He’s a drug dealer.

And if you’re comfortable with that, why didn’t you just come out and say it in your OP?