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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect updates from nursery

50 replies

VeronicaM27 · 11/10/2023 14:23

My ds is 4 and in his preschool year of nursery (Scotland). The nursery has an app but it never literally gets updated. If I ask at the end of the day how he was I get told he’s had a good day and that’s about it. This means I literally have no idea what he gets up to on a day to day basis. I would like to perhaps get a daily update on the app with some photos of ds. Even a weekly update would be good.

So aibu to expect this?

OP posts:
NunsKnickers · 11/10/2023 14:25

Do you know what the ratio of children to adults is? They may be really pushed looking after the children so not have the time to update on the app.

Frontgarden · 11/10/2023 14:26

If he is in preschool YABU

the ratios are higher and do you honestly think they have time to sit there updating the app for loads of kids every day?

give your head a wobble

TomatoSandwiches · 11/10/2023 14:28

YABU

Perhaps offer to fund the single employee you want to go round taking pictures of every child and the work involved maintaining the app.

Octonaut4Life · 11/10/2023 14:30

I don't think you're unreasonable at all. My DS is in preschool, we get a weekly round up every week for all parents talking about some of the main stuff they've done, and then a few pics of our DS every few days. We never worry if they miss a week here or there as we know they're busy but it's not too much to ask to get some ideas of what they've been up to. Do you have a relationship with the staff at handover?

Rycbar · 11/10/2023 15:03

When your child is at nursery would you prefer the adults are interacting and engaged with them or sat on an iPad? This is why the EYFS framework changed to not needing to gather mounds of evidence - to ensure adults were with the children, teaching them.

Catza · 11/10/2023 15:04

Sounds unreasonable to me on many levels. If you want to know everything your child is up to during the day, you'll have to home educate. I suppose you wouldn't expect the same update from your partner's boss, for example. In a nicest possible way, your child is going to grow up and have life independent of you. I don't think anything more than "he had a lovely day" is necessary.

Green777 · 11/10/2023 15:06

If your child is doing well, well fed and healthy then they’re doing a good job. Childcare is in crisis, they are working exceptionally hard with little time to be posting lovely pictures.

Green777 · 11/10/2023 15:07

Rycbar · Today 15:03

When your child is at nursery would you prefer the adults are interacting and engaged with them or sat on an iPad? This is why the EYFS framework changed to not needing to gather mounds of evidence - to ensure adults were with the children, teaching them

This!

PinkRoses1245 · 11/10/2023 15:07

YABU, at that age. You're not going to get constant updates at school.

BeastOfBODMAS · 11/10/2023 15:12

When I went round looking at nurseries, I turned down the one where all the staff were tapping away at iPads in favour of the one where the staff were interacting with the children.
You pays yer money you takes yer choice

Groovee · 11/10/2023 15:20

We don't update learning journals while with the children. So as I only work 2 days it can take me time to get them uploaded. We've recently had the Developmental Milestones updated so lots of new learning. If you are concerned I would try to speak to whoever oversees the nursery.

We had a stage where staff were off and the head took the decision to say no observations as we were so short staffed (in ratio but when half your staff is off it's challenging) but the head did convey this.

I did recently have a conversation with a parent who comes from a culture where they expected worksheets etc to be used but as we are big on learning through play, I gave her some reading and explained how Scotland do things.

But I'd definitely ask as some places may have an app but be doing a paper based book.

RedPandaFluff · 11/10/2023 16:01

I'll be going against the grain here but I think they should update the app given that they have provided this as a means of communication and a way of keeping parents updated. I have an almost 4 year old and it helps me make sure she has eaten, shows me the activities she has taken part in and frankly I love the photos and updates the nursery posts. I think it's really valuable and I'd think twice about a nursery that didn't offer this.

It's hard to leave our children with paid strangers all day, so it helps to have these little snapshots into their nursery lives.

RedPandaFluff · 11/10/2023 16:02

Oh - and I don't think it's a case of either/or. I don't think my child's safety or welfare is adversely impacted by a nursery worker taking a quick snap and typing in a one-liner. They're still fully engaged with the kids.

NunsKnickers · 11/10/2023 16:08

RedPandaFluff · 11/10/2023 16:02

Oh - and I don't think it's a case of either/or. I don't think my child's safety or welfare is adversely impacted by a nursery worker taking a quick snap and typing in a one-liner. They're still fully engaged with the kids.

I don't agree with this and I've worked in a nursery.

NancyMaloni · 11/10/2023 16:10

I would definitely want updates and pictures and change nurseries if they weren’t provided.

CaptainMyCaptain · 11/10/2023 16:14

Rycbar · 11/10/2023 15:03

When your child is at nursery would you prefer the adults are interacting and engaged with them or sat on an iPad? This is why the EYFS framework changed to not needing to gather mounds of evidence - to ensure adults were with the children, teaching them.

I was going to post this.

LetsGoFlyAKiteee · 11/10/2023 16:20

I work in a nursery. We do 2 observations per chilr a month and any other update is verbal at the end of the day. We do reply to messages if parents send them but other then that...we said from the start when we changed to online journals that we wouldn't be doing daily updates for preschool as rather spend time with the children then updating 24 accounts each day

The EYFS changed a lot recently to make sure less focus is on things like this and more about interactions. There is no legal requirement for observations and reports etc just 2 year checks now and the rest is down to each setting.

IAmBarbaraMillicentRoberts · 11/10/2023 16:26

Preschool year is totally different in Scotland, they're still at actual nursery.
OP my DS is the same age/stage and I get a couple of updates on the app most weeks. It's not a lot, but it does help to see what they're doing. I'd raise it if you have any real concerns x

Original poster
VeronicaM27 · 11/10/2023 16:33

Thanks everyone for your opinions. It’s a relatively small nursery with 5 teachers to around 24 kids.

OP posts:
Original poster
VeronicaM27 · 11/10/2023 16:35

Also whenever we’ve been to a sports day/ coffee morning there’s always a teacher with an iPad taking photos and videos. We just never actually see any of them.

OP posts:
Mummy08m · 11/10/2023 16:37

I don't know the ratios in Scotland but in England it's 1-8. The 5 teachers you mention won't be on duty all together all the time, they'll have lunch breaks etc.

Nicesalad · 11/10/2023 16:38

It's not good for children to grow up constantly having photos taken of them. And no need for you to have daily or even weekly photos from nursery. You know what he'll be doing!

ColleenDonaghy · 11/10/2023 16:44

Nursery as in preschool I wouldn't expect any info on pickup and assume no news is good news. Ours did have an app but it wasn't updated daily and the updates weren't individual, just photos of the class doing an activity that may or may not include your DC.

Nursery as in daycare nursery I'd expect a few words on pickup in terms of what they've eaten and also sleep and/or nappies/toilet usage if the child is still at the stage that's relevant. Ours doesn't have an app and that's fine, we just need a heads up if they're hungry/coming down with something/cranky etc.

DragonFly98 · 11/10/2023 16:54

IAmBarbaraMillicentRoberts · 11/10/2023 16:26

Preschool year is totally different in Scotland, they're still at actual nursery.
OP my DS is the same age/stage and I get a couple of updates on the app most weeks. It's not a lot, but it does help to see what they're doing. I'd raise it if you have any real concerns x

Preschool year is nursey in England too. Hence the name PREschool.

evergreener · 11/10/2023 16:59

so you want the staff to stop what they are doing, take your kid aside, pose them, photograph them, then put them back in with the group and resume the day? Cos that is what happens when parents ask for photos during the day. What an utter wate of time for everyone. Totally pointless. And what if more than one parent wants it? You ok for your child to be left unsupervised while the staff fanny about getting a photo for the other parent? be realistic - if you want that, you need a nanny, not a nursery. And what if lots of parents want it? You get a situation like at my daughters nursery at Christmas, where she is called in as bank staff to do a day doing uploads, and yes, her wages are passed on when calculating the year's nursery fees