To expect updates from nursery

[VeronicaM27]

My ds is 4 and in his preschool year of nursery (Scotland). The nursery has an app but it never literally gets updated. If I ask at the end of the day how he was I get told he’s had a good day and that’s about it. This means I literally have no idea what he gets up to on a day to day basis. I would like to perhaps get a daily update on the app with some photos of ds. Even a weekly update would be good.

So aibu to expect this?

Don’t be so ridiculous. Last year we would get a photo of ds in a group setting while he was doing an activity. He wasn’t removed from the group and made to pose. I swear some people on Mumsnet just enjoy being rude.

That was directed at @evergreener

It's perfectly reasonable to expect some communication. If they don't use the app but instead say "he enjoyed painting today" or "ate all his dinner today" at handover that is fine and reassuring.
Nothing at all would make me question how much interaction they have/how well they know the children.

sending out a photo in a group setting is enough to get a nursery closed down if there is a complaint. I am not being rude, I am telling you what actually happens in the real world.

Parents do not need photos of children in nursery, it is a very difficult and inconvieniant request that spoils the flow of the day for everybody

@evergreener At our nursery parents sign a form to say they are happy for their children to be photographed and the photos be shared.

The app being updated and staff taking pictures on special occasions aren’t related. It’s quick and easy to take pictures, it is time consuming uploading them, then tagging them to the right children, then writing a comment. The staff’s time is much better used interacting with the children or doing what needs to be done to care for them properly.

Regular photo updates are more appropriate for non verbal children, either because if disability or because they are still too young. It not something that is common for four years olds at pre school. You might get a load of photos when your ds leaves.

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. My son is behind with his speech so he is unable to tell me what he does at nursery. They have a tapestry account which gets updated multiple days a week - which if we didn’t have this I wouldn’t know anything about what he gets up to. So I’m very grateful for that.

I’m perfectly happy to be told aibu. There are some things I didn’t consider which is why I posted to get different views. I just don’t understand while it’s necessary for people to be rude while giving their opinion.

My DSD isn't non verbal or anything but whenever I asked what she got up to at nursery I either got "dunno" or "can't remember". She would always mention if something bad had happened like a kid hurt her or she fell in the playground. Aside from that I didn't really need to know whether she's been painting or building towers.

Her nursery did update their twitter account on occasion and each child also had a folder which we were able to see at parents evening. It was nice to see the photos on the twitter page but not essential. I mean, how did our parents all cope before apps and social media was a thing?

I didn't know this wasn't the norm in the UK. Here in Turkey I get sent a few class photos via WhatsApp every night. I work in international education and everywhere I've worked so far this has been the norm

No news is good news. Rather them be engaged with kiddies than endlessly updating an app with information that's really useless and will stop the moment they go to school.

We get daily photos of ds at nursery. It's on the app and the photos are always in a group setting doing activities.

I think some posters are determined to show how ridiculous they can be by saying nurseries get closed down for photos on an app 😂😂

Why does anyone need a photo every day?

If it's part of the evidence if the learning journey then great...but once a week is surely enough?

Fairly normal for kids, verbal or otherwise...

Why do you need to know what he did?

Surely if anything was amiss or outstanding or of note, you'd be told at the door anyway?

Sounds useful. However, photos aren't needed for you to find out what he's been up to. And he will probably have been painting, sticking, dancing, played in the home corner etc.

I mean, how did our parents all cope before apps and social media was a thing?
Really well. Most parents trusted the staff and were probably less anxious/ less involved with the details of this part of their children's lives.

I think this quick clip demonstrates one of the issues with Nursery doing this fb.watch/nCJgSfGTNb/

Not having an app was a pro for me when looking round nurseries because I'd heard childcare workers can be so busy taking photos/ updating the app etc for each child it can detract from the care children receive. However, our nursery has a whiteboard where they write an update of what's happened that day and it works really well. They started that following consultation with parents so maybe suggest it!

As a childminder I am lucky to be able to build a relationship with the whole family. I set up a WhatsApp group with both parents, and for a new child I will spam the group with photos of their child every 20/30 minutes with a quick update of emotional state. This does taper off to three or four a day, once they're settled. Communication with parents in eyfs is important - they're so little and they parents want to know they're happy, and if not happy, it didn't last long

If it's the same as in dd's nursery (in England) at 2-3y the ratio is 1-4, then at 3-4y the ratio is 1-8. So a very different ratio. They do post some photos nearly everyday but we understand why it's a lot less than last year. If you've got 8 kids per stuff member, plus the kids don't have a daily nap anymore, there's just way less time.

So you can't meaningfully compare it to last year.

He's 4, you could ask him.
There are suggested questions online to ask young children to get more information than "what did you do today"

Tbh once they get to preschool age there's much less communication. Your child can usually tell you about their day by age 4 unless they have communication difficulties in which case a book should be written in. Are their learning journeys online or is it a physical book? If it's the latter you may find they are taking pictures and printing them to add to the learning journey instead which you can see at any time.

I think you have a good point OP. It is lovely getting updates on apps. At the bare minimum they should be giving you some highlights of the day at collection time.

Separately I was reflecting on this with a colleague (secondary teacher). In secondary schools, esp independent, there's a stereotype of year 7 parents being "needy". I was explaining to this colleague, who doesn't have kids, all about how much teacher-to-parent reporting goes on at different stages. Going from year 6 to year 7 it drops off suddenly from very regular brief updates to just one or two reports a term and the parents are left floundering and feeling like they ought to have more output/input into their kid's daily life. Like they want more updates, but also afraid they aren't doing their job as parents if they aren't fully updated.

Op is going through a similar transition. The ratio drops drastically when you get to the year before reception like I said above. Reporting has to reduce. But op needs to understand it's all a normal part of growing up

YANBU

My DD left preschool at the end of August and right up to her last day, we had daily food diaries and pictures and paragraphs of what they'd been up to that day.
I think it's a nice way of involving parents in their children's early education.