To stop giving DS snacks?

[MooseBreath]

DS is 3.5 and slightly taller than average and thin (can see ribs, no protruding tummy or baby fat). He is also quite heavy... When HV weighed him, she made him step on the scale three times because she couldn't believe the weight matched the child.

He does not eat his lunch or dinner about 50 percent of the time, but always eats breakfast. He is constantly asking for snacks. I limit them to one in the morning and one in the afternoon in the hopes that he will eat his lunch or dinner. Water is available all day without question. Below is a typical day...

Breakfast: Bowl of Cheerios in milk, pear and grapes.
Pester for snack x3
Snack: Granola bar
Pester for snack x3
Lunch: Macaroni cheese, slice of ham, carrot sticks, broccoli, apple juice (refused 25% of the time)
Pester for snack x3
Snack: Chocolate rice crackers and yogurt
Pester for snack x3
Dinner: Chicken with gravy, rice, and sweetcorn, glass of milk (refused 75% of the time)
Pester for snack x3
Tantrum about being hungry

I don't offer alternatives to meals, but never give DS food that I know he hates. There is always 1-2 "safe" foods on his plate, and others are things he has either never tried or has eaten and been ok with in the past.

Is this normal? This has been our system for as long as he can remember. AIBU to cut the snacks from his day? I don't know how else to get him to eat meals. What would you do?

We do the picnic meals too: DD calls it platter, and it’s her favourite dinner aside from spaghetti bolognese. She always eats a healthy variety when it’s presented as “lots of little things on the bread board”, and expands her repertoire – it’s how she started eating stuffed vine leaves!

Also have set meal and snack times (our snacks are 10am and 3pm) and these days it’s plain rice cake, plain bread stick, or nowt. “Are you hungry? Nearly dinner time!” is our new mantra.

It took us a while to realise her appetite had slowed from those mad baby/toddler years where they can randomly neck an adult-size roast dinner, steal your pudding, then need a stack of sandwiches: the growth spurts slow, the brain developments slow, they’re not suddenly needing to learn to crawl! stand! walk! talk! grow molars! They can eat more at one sitting but we weren’t giving her the chance to because we were still doing toddler-appropriate snacks that were filling her up.

Also, final thought: small children are annoying, they won’t eat the nice dinner but they will eat the old dog biscuit off the floor, everything’s a phase, this too shall pass, a multivitamin eases my worry on days DD refuses to eat.

It definitely makes me feel better that this is normal.

It's interesting that people have mentioned "roaming" snacks...he doesn't eat snacks at the table as we're often out and about. I will see if adjusting the expectations about sitting and eating snack at a table makes a difference.

Thank you!

Cereals are a nightmare to be honest. I've recently had to follow a diabetic diet due to some health issues and I've been gobsmacked by the amount of hidden sugar in EVERYTHING. Even things that you don't assume are sugary contain high levels of natural sugars. It's a real nightmare and I can see why so many children gravitate towards them as snacks. It's been a real learning curve for me and it has meant I have reshaped some of the things I buy for the whole family.

On the budget - cucumber sticks, carrot sticks, some sweetcorn are all quite cheap.

How much is a granola bar?

Multigrain Cheerios have 5g sugar in 30g.

Government advice for under 4 is "avoid sugar-sweetened drinks and food with sugar added to it"

Many older kids have their full recommended sugar allowance from cereal alone.

Eggs. Not meaty and full of protein,should fill him up for longer. Soft boiled,hard boiled,scrambled,pancakes,frittata,omelette.

@MidnightOnceMore Granola bars are £1.25/6 bars at Sainsbury's with Nectar prices.

The issue is the cheerios for breakfast, not the snacks. It may seem extravagant but make him scrambled eggs on toast or a cheese pancake for breakfast. The protein and fat will help stabilise blood sugar levels and reduce cravings.

He’s obviously sensitive to sugar, so try not to give sugary food without protein or fat as well.

Doesn't sound like a lot for a 3.5 year old, stop giving him sugar crap and give him things like eggs, bacon etc. he needs proteins & fats.

These are probably similar in price to carrot sticks etc?

It should be possible to switch to something healthier, if he doesn't eat them he may be more ready for tea.

Hi OP, mine is 7 and is a snack fiend even after eating her meals, i think she likes to graze. I don't often do sweeter snacks such as granola bars, they are saved for if we're having a morning out and as such might eat lunch later, or before her swimming lessons for example.
Snacks at home is usually redskin peanuts, plain cashews, pistachios, breadsticks, salt and vinegar rice cakes, occasionally a bag of crisps such as Pombears. Afternoon snack is fruit/carrot/cucumber/celery.

i would set two official snack times, say 10.30 and 3pm (depending upon when you eat meals) make a picture of the clock times and put them on the fridge so when he pesters you, you can show him its not yet snack time

I would make snack time as boring and healthy as possible, so carrot sticks sat at the table..every time

If he doesnt eat his meal, save it and when he pesters for snacks after a meal then offer the left overs until you get to the official snack time, alternatively just offer water to drink

If he pesters and tantrums just say ‘I dont speak whine’ and walk away until he can ask nicely..when you say nicely he can have his snack of carrots at the table at snack time..and show him the clock.

you will need to stick to it for at least two weeks to reset a three yr old, and after special events like Xmas or birthdays when the routine understandable shifts, you might have to do another reset.

I think I'd be trying to get more protein into his meals and snacks.

He prefers chocolate rice and granola bars to dinners, as they often do. I'd limit them much more and I think he'd eat much more of his main meals.

I think that seems perfectly normal for a 3.5 year old. I think the breakfast and snacks are quite sugary carb, which can lead to more hunger as doesn't fill them up. Something more substantial (like beans on toast - I'm aware beans do have lots of sugar/salt, but they are also more filling/protein heavy - or scrambled eggs and toast, or porridge, etc.). And for snacks, crackers and cheese, hummus and breadsticks, a boiled egg, cheese and a banana, something less sugar and higher in fat/protein.

Otherwise, I don't think it sounds like much food for a 3 year old (certainly not too much!). Mine were definitely eating more than that at 3 and were generally around 50th centile. Some kids are just heavier. It doesn't mean they are 'overweight'. They're growing. I had a friend whose dd was like that. She was like a tank. I couldn't life her. She was tall too and she didn't look overweight at all, but she was just so dense and heavy. That's just how she was built. She's a pre-teen now and a perfectly healthy weight, but quite tall. I think that was just part of her growth at that age.

First thing I’d do in your case, is ditch the snacks- yes.

Of course he wants breakfast and snacks and not his other meals, look at what you are giving him, it's all sweet stuff. Stop giving him sweet stuff when he asks for a snack, make his breakfast savoury and you'll find the tables turn.

Does he feel full quickly? That might be worth looking into.

I think you’ve two trains of thought in this thread- personally I think with growth spurts at this age I think you’re very 3 meals with a tiny bit thrown in but it depends on feeding times because if breakfast is eg 7 o clock and lunch is 1 then 1 cereal bar is pretty small, in the same way if dinner is 4 then a tea mightn’t do any harm. And a snack isn’t a bad thing if it’s fruit or veg, crackers and cheese etc! Ps multigrain cheerios aren’t that bad, people will always suggest porridge just because it’s filling but only 2 out of 4 here eat it and personally I’m not a fan for myself!! Best of luck op, you’re doing a fine job!

Those snacks aren't great. They are sugary and will want him asking for more.

I would cut out all snacks and if he's hungry just give him his lunch or dinner earlier.

It is such a waste if he is not eating his lunch and dinner and instead just eating sugary snacks.

I would cut the sugar at breakfast and increase the protein. Cheerios plus grapes is quite sugary. And cheerio’s aren’t filling.

Wholemeal toast and peanut butter / cheese on toast / scrambled egg etc plus 1 type of fruit and some milk?

I am swapping the morning snack for bread sticks and the afternoon snack for cheese/crackers. I am also going to swap in oatmeal every other morning.

We already have meals and snacks at set times.

7:30am Breakfast
9:30am Snack
11:30am Lunch
2:30pm Snack
5:30pm Dinner

I think some people are just naturally grazers. I wouldn’t cut out the snacks, in fact, counterintuitive as it sounds, I’d be giving more substantial / healthier snacks. Something like peanut butter toast, half a sandwich, some hummus and things to dip in it. A fruit bowl he can help himself to. Even at 17, my ds isn’t a three square meals guy, but he’s a great cook with a varied palate.

He’s 3.5, give him what you have, & certainly no snacks if he can’t eat his meals.