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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say DP cannot sleep in our bed tonight?

59 replies

VictorianSqualor · 07/03/2008 12:22

He's off out on a leaving do for his best mate from work, I'm 35+4 weeks pregnant and have been having niggles for a while, so he thought I was going to tell him not to go out anyway, but we've got MiL on standby and if I call, he is coming straight home.

Thing is, I know that when he comes in he will be drunk, he will smell of beer, and probably cigarettes because all his friends smoke, so I imagine he'll go outside with them when they have a fag.

He's also eating, I think, so might as well add garlic or something into that.
Plus when drunk he snores.
I've told him he has to sleep in DD's bottom bunk, it's not like he won't have a bed to sleep in, just not in my room.

But I feel quite bad about kicking him out!
AIBU? Or would you do the same?

OP posts:
schneebly · 07/03/2008 12:23

oh god yes I wouldn't think twice about doing the same

MegaMindy · 07/03/2008 12:23

YANBU! I would do the same.

OrmIrian · 07/03/2008 12:24

DOn't blame you. It's the fag and garlic smell that would do me in. I hate it when DH has had a curry....bleurgh. Anyway he's going out when he thought he might not be so he can't complain.

mumblechum · 07/03/2008 12:24

I wouldn't do that but then I'm lovely

dh came home reeking of garlic and wine last night, but I don't mind, he doesn't get out much, bless him.

dizzydixies · 07/03/2008 12:26

no, if it means you're not getting a sleep then just ask him to go in spare room. If he's p*ssed he's hardly likely to notice where he sleeps and it'll save you cleaning the bed to freshen it up in the morning

my friend doesn't let her dh share a bed with her at all when she is pg, and I mean from about 12/15wks onwards!!!

YANBU

Original poster
VictorianSqualor · 07/03/2008 12:28

Mumble would you be able to sleep next to someone who stunk and was snoring then?
Last time he went out I was still suffering from HG and threw up violently because of the smell and could not sleep.
I don't think I should suffer because he is out really.
But I also feel mean because he hardly ever goes out.

OP posts:
mumblechum · 07/03/2008 12:29

Blimey, VS it sounds as if your dh is a leetle bit smellier and snorier than mine, so ok, you have my permission to chuck him out.

dizzydixies · 07/03/2008 12:30

you're not asking him to sleep in the car/shed or even couch - he's still getting a bed !!!

LilRedWG · 07/03/2008 12:30

DH often offered to sleep in the spare room when I was pregnant and the smell of beer repulsed me (except one real ale which I loved the smell of ). you are not at all unreasonable and I'm sure your DH won't think you are either.

bobsyouruncle · 07/03/2008 12:31

I do this when dh goes out otherwise I get no sleep and I'm a grumpy cow - and I'm not pregnant!

Emprexia · 07/03/2008 12:35

yanbu.. i wish i could have kicked my dh into the spare room while i was pg.. most of the time it was me and my maternity pillow that retreated that way because he refused to.

Emprexia · 07/03/2008 12:44

yanbu.. i wish i could have kicked my dh into the spare room while i was pg.. most of the time it was me and my maternity pillow that retreated that way because he refused to.

Emprexia · 07/03/2008 12:44

yanbu.. i wish i could have kicked my dh into the spare room while i was pg.. most of the time it was me and my maternity pillow that retreated that way because he refused to.

Emprexia · 07/03/2008 12:44

yanbu.. i wish i could have kicked my dh into the spare room while i was pg.. most of the time it was me and my maternity pillow that retreated that way because he refused to.

Original poster
VictorianSqualor · 07/03/2008 12:59

Lol Kaishay, you felt strongly about that didn't you

OP posts:
tootiredtothink · 07/03/2008 13:04

YANBU to let him sleep elsewhere - but is it fair to inflict him and his smells/snoring on your dd? Or will she be in with you?

Emprexia · 07/03/2008 13:06

sorry.. that wasn't me.. it was clicky fingers, otherwise known as my 18mo!

PeatBog · 07/03/2008 13:08

YANBU. Even if you weren't pregnant I'd probably say that, and you are, so it's a sure thing.

Hulababy · 07/03/2008 13:09

YANBU

Original poster
VictorianSqualor · 07/03/2008 13:11

She'll sleep through it, and wouldn't be next to him, but in a bed above so won't smell him.
I did think about putting DS in DD's room and giving DP, ds'd room but I know DS won't sleep if he isn;t in his own bed.

OP posts:
Ulysees · 07/03/2008 13:17

YANBU

lizziemun · 07/03/2008 13:19

Yes and do every friday night.

I put the light on in the spare room and shut our bedroom door, i have DH well trained he knows where to sleep .

PS i am not pregnant but have a 4yr old and a 6mth old who are up at the crack of dawn so i do not want him adding to my disturb (sp) night sleep.

Mum2b2BabyRoo · 07/03/2008 14:05

YANBU

BroccoliSpears · 07/03/2008 14:08

I have asked dp to have a shower before coming to bed after a night out before.

Poor bugger, stumbling around the bathroom rubbing toothpaste in his hair and soap on his teeth!

PrettyCandles · 07/03/2008 14:08

Under the circs, YANBU.

When I was heavily pg with no1, and at the time it was our bed or the sofa, I woke one night after dh had been out on the twon to find him showering and brushing teeth at about 2am. He wanted to come back to our bed! Awwww...I couldn't bring myself to chuck him out again, even though he was still pissed enough to snore like a road-drill.