To be a little sad that my boyfriend never takes pictures of me?

[sunrays02]

I had a conversation with 2 friends. One showed us a picture and said “my boyfriend took this of me” and it was lovely. My other friend joked saying “I wish mine took pictures like that! Mine takes silly pictures of me when I look really ugly, with a towel on my head or something!”

it made me realise that my boyfriend never takes pictures of me. He says he lives in the moment. My friends were shocked and said that it doesn’t seem right, that if he wanted to he would. I also remember on our 3rd date, before we were even together, he took a video of me on the dance mat in the arcades because he thought it was funny. He’d never do that now.

Am I being silly? I’m big on taking pictures too so it does upset me a little.

Mine doesn't either - he's registered blind, but he does have some vision and can see photos, albeit not in colour. It was about 6 months before we had a selfie together, which us, AFAIK, the only picture of us together.

The difference is, it doesn't bother me. I assume it doesn't bother your boyfriend either. If he doesn't tend to take photos of anyone, then I'd say it's just him, and you need to let it go. If he takes pics of others but not you, that would be something I'd be asking about.

This would only play on mind if he's someone who takes other photos regularly. I've been with DH almost 15 years and barring very special occasions (e.g. holiday with a nice view) and pre DC didn't take photos of anything. I'm the opposite in that on a normal day I can often find something I want to snap.

Do you take photos of him?
I understand you wanting candid photos, I think it’s nice that someone wants to capture moments with you, whether it’s something funny or special or just a time they want to remember.
I had a conversation with my husband about this when our son was born. He never used to take many photos and when he did he would ask us to “smile!” Or “say cheese!”. I said I didn’t like those kinds of photos and I’d prefer he took candid photos of my son and I doing everyday things, as I did with him. I’ve now got a lovely album of photos, me snuggled up asleep with my newborn, pushing the pram, bathing him in the kitchen sink, eating dinner, snuggling wrapped up in towels on the beach. They’re my absolute favourite photos but I’d not have them if I’d not had that initial conversation with my husband about wanting more photos. Just talk to him about it!

That's lovely, my DH is always taking those kinds of photos of me and Ds. Because he knows I hate having my picture taken so knows I won't pose for one 😉

I don't take photos of DP very often. But then I don't take pictures of anything very often. I also prefer to actually enjoy the moment rather than interrupting it to faff around with my phone just to get a blurry photo (I am a very shit photographer). The camera roll on my phone is a wasteland.

I agree, it’s better to live in the moment.

My DH hardly takes photos (of anything). Doesn't bother me as that's how he is.

I think you’re overthinking this and it’s not a big deal but I guess it depends.

For example, my DH has had his phone over 2 years and probably has taken less than 100 photos on it. He’s taken the odd photo with me, he has a photo of us on his fb profile picture and as his phone wallpaper but hates his photo taken. I can’t remember the last time he took a photo just us two. It doesn’t bother me, in fact I’ve never thought about it until seeing your post.

However, is he the sort of guy that’s got 40000 photos on his phone and constantly taking photos out with him and his mates yet won’t take any with you? That to me is a different story.

YANBU, it's upsetting but it seems it's part of their personality.

Does he take many photos generally? Some people (like me) take photos all the time. I have plenty of friends who never even think to take a photo.

No in fairness he doesn’t take an awful lot of pictures. I’m not on his Facebook but his profile picture is from 2014 😂. I did have a conversation with him though and he simply said “that’s just how I am”

I have been married for decades, & my husband never takes pictures of me - it's hilarious. We come back from holiday with loads of photos, but not a soul on them. I figure we know what we look like, so we're more interested in pics of landscapes, architecture etc.
It doesn't mean, OP, that your partner doesn't care about you.

In that case I wouldn't take it personally. He doesn't take photos and probably wouldn't look at any photos he did take anyway, so it would be pointless.

Mine is the same and it doesn't bother me. He hates having his photo taken so I hardly ever do it to him, and I'm not keen on being photographed either so everyone's happy. When DC was born I did want a few family photos so we occasionally take photos of DC with dad and DC with mum and sometimes even all of us in the same photo. 😆 We also like to live in the moment, and we don't use social media so we don't have the pressure/habit to share everything we do via photos.

I wouldn't take it personally.

I wouldn’t accept “it’s just how I am”. You’re not asking him to change a fundamental part of his personality. And it’s not as if it’s something that massively puts him out either, you’re not asking for a photoshoot every morning. I’d have another conversation with him and explain that this is something small he could do that would make you really happy and that you’d appreciate if he tried.
It’s really not a big ask, that during, for example, a week’s holiday, he took a photo or two of you in front of a sunset or drinking a glass of wine with a pretty backdrop.
I compare it to me, (some may say rather slovenly) never making my bed. It’s just not a habit that ever stuck and it doesn’t bother me to have an unmade bed. It does however bother my husband and he says the house never feels tidy if there’s a bed unmade. I could happily live never making my bed, but because it’s something my husband likes, I make an effort to do it. I would never consider saying to my husband “that’s just the way I am”, and expect him to accept that despite him asking me I was never even going to consider doing it. Small gestures in relationships are really important in my opinion, and actually having the attitude of “that’s just the way” I am is quite selfish.

Lol my boyfriend doesn’t take pictures of me. I’m trying to work out if this thread is for real???

Yanbu. I have no one to take photos of me and it makes me feel rubbish. My mum last took a photo of me seven years ago, and I looked shite.

I take way more pictures of my cat than I do of my husband! Neither of us care about having our pictures taken tbh.

The whole concept of taking loads of pictures every day is so strange. Until so recently in our lives, no one had access to a camera at all times, we just lived. Took photos of special moments/holidays. Why do you want someone to take a photo of you and look at it when they are with you all the time? Why force him to do it when he clearly isn't bothered? Can't you just ask him to take one if you want one? As your friends say, if he wanted to he would. What's to be so shocked about?

What is it about this that really bothers you, OP? Do you not feel he gives you enough attention, doesn't treat you as though you are special, has the magic faded a bit from those initial days when he took the video of you dancing...?

I mean this gently but are you very young? I can’t imagine being bothered about this. If you want him to photo you ask.

I don’t take pictures either, they capture your soul

Dh doesn't think like this either. I just ask him to take pictures though.

If either me or my husband ever went missing we’d never be found. Our missing posters would both have a pic of us on from about 30 years ago - neither of us take them.

No, surely the difference is he's registered blind!

I don't take pictures to be honest. Probably because I am not a fan of getting my photo taken. Equally I do not spend much time scrolling through photos etc. It is just the way I am, I don't mean any harm.
If you go back on my phone nearly all the photos are screenshots of books I want to order from library.