To tell you about my holiday?

[Withnailandsigh]

Name changed due to level of outing considering I’ve told everyone and their budgie about this because I’m so pleased with myself.
severely stressed and depressed atm, not pit of doom, despair type stressed and depressed, more like the overwhelm that occurs when you’re fighting for your life to keep all the balls in the air and it just feels too much and there’s an overriding sense of being too bloody old and tired and inept to keep going. Anyway, on a whim, an impulse a ‘I just need to get away’ type feeling I booked a budget hotel on the coast. I told DH what I was up to, he was fine with it but was too busy with work to come. I took DS, a large mobility buggy, a massive amount of luggage consisting of clothes, toiletries, toys and medicines on a big train journey all on my own. It should be noted that DS has SEN, I have a few chronic health issues and some residual anxiety and fear of the unknown since all this occurred . But off we set. We’ve had a few magical days at the coast, it was perfect! we’ve had fabulous adventures and met new people and took risks and ( by our standards) partied hard. We’ve had some great cultural and arty experiences and some gorgeous conversations . DS has a newfound respect for his mum as a bit of a legend and seen me in a new light as being able to cope without Daddy and the car and also as being a lot of fun and an art and history geek which he’s never appreciated before . We left the phone on flight mode most of the time and reconnected without distraction and I boldly informed school and work what we were up to by email, because I’m not sorry. Having just arrived safely home and put him to bed with his final comment being ‘when can we go again?’ I’m walking on air as I feed the washing machine and sort his treasures from the beach. My back and legs and hips hurt like hell, but my soul feels 20 years younger. I’ll face the music at work tomorrow. His school were probably delighted of the break. I just feel so brave doing it alone with him and the dynamic was so different and special. I feel so liberated and want to do it again as many times as possible before I’m too old. I just want to go on adventures with my boy all the time now! A true turning point in our lives I think.

Lovely. Where did you go? UK or abroad?

How lovely, OP - well done you! ☺️

That's a lovely post. Well-done to you, marvelous woman.

Love this! I remember my DM whisking me off to do something very similar in my early teens, it was a fantastic holiday and I still remember it well now - 25 years on!! Well done Op

You are a hero. God I spend weeks planning even a few days in Cornwall without kids! Taking your ds, making memories, creating art, having fun...no matter what the fall out it will be worth it

I love your post! And I love how your son is seeing you in a new light! Good for you!
It’s hard work solo travelling with a child! I recently took our two year old away by myself to Ireland to visit friends, and I can definitely relate to the back, hips and legs hurting like hell and I don’t even have any issues!! Looking forward to hearing you plan your next trip!

@henrysugar12 just southern UK. Weather was freakishly gorgeous though. And I booked the accommodation on the basis it would suit us as everything was easy and had the pool etc. But the location had so much more to offer than I thought. DS is quite the photographer and the scenery interested him a lot because it has this juxtaposition between idyllic beaches and rough, rustic industrial and decay. Parts of it were frozen in time and took me back to my childhood because I’m sure some of it hadn’t been touched since I was a kid. Plus it’s very arty and musical of an evening. I was genuinely taken back. Bloody Folkestone! Loved it. DS did see the Eurostar trains at St Pancras and say he’d travel to Europe with me, I have some fabulous memories of France as a kid, don’t wanna get ahead of myself though 🤣 he’s all go though, he wants to go to France now, he was asking me to teach him French while were pool. I’m GCSE level so he can order food and name animals and ask for train times… I’m tempted 🤣

Good for you! He'll never forget that and neither will you. I think taking time out when you need it, even if you're not 'supposed' to (e.g. during school term time) is the wisest way to protect your mental health. Slogging away feeling like you can't keep up is a recipe for decline. It's so important to remind ourselves there are other options at times.

@Thanksforreading yes a two year old travelling is a huge challenge too. My older child as a toddler would either be an absolute dream or an absolute nightmare under these circumstances. They’re so unpredictable. both mine as tiny babies were good as gold, if you kept to the feeding schedule they were reliable sleepers. As toddlers they could sometimes fall off a cliff with routines and behaviours because they didn’t like change. I’d have been nervous doing that journey for sure. I think we overthink things sometimes though, our babies need us, and we intuitively know them and their needs so travelling with them shouldn’t worry us as much as it does. I’d not travelled with my son alone ever though, I’m definitely his main parent and carer but his Dad is the one who has the car and drives everywhere ( I can’t for medical reasons ) so I think he thought we couldn’t go anywhere without him, but my work allows me loads of freedom and flexibility so he’s basically missing out if I didn’t get brave enough to travel with him. Eurostar next, flight after that… no stopping me now :)

Amazing so pleased for you!!

I have 3 daughters and this summer holiday we have just had, I took them all separately camping for a weekend. Was brilliant having time one on one. They all said ‘can we do this every year’ we do family camping etc.. but this felt like a proper treat. I did age appropriate activities with each of them which is sometimes a struggle altogether 💕

This is such a fabulously uplifting post, I can feel your confidence and joy jumping out of the screen at me. Life is a series of ups and downs for all of us for all reasons, this is a serious up and i can see how much it meant to you. Hold on to those wonderful memories every time you doubt yourself or things get tough. Congrats on the successful break away op, you’re an ace mum - your ds will remember this forever 💐

@snowstormys that’s so lovely to hear. Memories are so precious . I hope DS remembers this too. I think he will. There’s something different in the dynamic when it’s just the two of you. I noticed differences in his behaviour, he was more present , flexible, relaxed, willing to try new things and his communication was different, he was able to tell me about what he was feeling and express opinions before getting cross. I sort of felt bad because I wondered if I didn’t work so much and was with him more , our relationship would be more like this all the time, then I remember we’re on holiday, and we were alone together through lockdown and it wasn’t anything like this!

I love it OP! Earlier this year I went on a girls only trip with my four year old to a European city. I had never been there, I don't speak the language. We figured it out, it was brilliant.

@Withnailandsigh its nice to work up to the different types of travel as well! I definitely think Eurostar will be for us next year!! My other half drives, I don’t! Don’t let it limit you! Totally agree on toddlers wild behaviours! My DD was a nightmare tbh on my solo trip to Ireland, just thankful everyone was Irish on the flight and was super nice! And DD was a dream on a daytime flight to Thailand, it’s just pot luck with toddlers!

@Elvis1956 I hear you! By nature I’m a planner too. But in some ways life recently has taught me to let go of idealism. I used to worry so much about things like what we’d eat, what I looked like and if we’d get enough ‘holiday for our money’ I was nightmare for it really , itineraries and outfits and researching stuff were features of holidays for me. I’ve had my life turned upside down so much in recent years that I’ve had to learn to ‘go with the flow’ more and I think it’s improved me somewhat. I generally look an absolute fright when I’m out with DS I think 😂 and we have to change plans at the last minute all the time, so I end up in a pub watching a band he likes the sound of when I was scruffy from the beach walking past, or looking forward to a nice meal I’ve booked but he welches last minute and we’re having fish and chips on a bench in the harbour lights while he takes a thousand photos and ignores me 🤣 I still think he’s fantastic and it mirrors my youth more when I was wild and crazy. I remember deciding to drive from Hertfordshire to Cornwall one night when I was 18 and stayed there for 5 years. So he probably gets his crazy from me, the old me, the pre mum me. It’s now just really hard work though 😂. Take more risks, we’re here for a good time not a long time.

@TheChosenTwo thank you! It’s a real buzz! I love his Dad he’s great! But I am so glad to be seen as just as capable and cool in DS eyes now. I’ve worked so much lately and the guilt was setting in, the fatigue too. I think these adventures will be the making of us, definitely a really bonding experience.

@Thanksforreading we have Irish family. They are definitely more family orientated and accepting of baby dramas! Irish men are hilarious and will bounce and sing to any baby In the vicinity, our son is a red curly headed Viking unit and was mock arm wrestling in a pub in Dublin at 10 months old 🤣 they loved him. Also we’re part Greek too, and it’s been a long time before DS’s time, but I remember visiting family in Greece and there was most definitely a ‘village’ there too, the dozen or so kids descended upon poor yaya and my daughter who never spoke a word of Greek and was pale as a ghost was adopted instantly and we struggled to tear her away from her new tribe. I wonder if we’re just not good at this stuff in England? You flew to Thailand though with a small person? Legend. Thailands on my bucket list. I feel like Thailand is quite an athletic holiday so I want to get DS in good physical condition before I take him. In other words, I want him to bloody walk most of it ( which he should be able to) rather than insist on being wheeled about. He’s bloody heavy now, and medically fit to walk indefinitely these days but he’s inclined to Take to his chariot more than he should ( lazy shit 🤣) . What’s the healthcare like out there if there was a medical emergency?

@RaceToTheMiddle this is amazing. I don’t think I know anyone who’s done this. 3 daughters is 3 different characters and personalities so I bet each trip felt so different and they really appreciated your individual time. I’m from a really large family and we were always just ‘the kids’ older ones caring for the younger ones and being treated en masse with everything. I think I was in my thirties before I had a conversation with my mother about philosophy and music, turns out she thinks I’m really interesting and clever. But never knew me as a teenager when it mattered. So I think you’re brilliant doing that. Your daughters are fortunate to have you.

What a great idea OP. Glad to hear it worked out well and you and DS had such a nice time. Inspiring

I'm taking my dd away for a mini-break soon. I hope we have a lovely time too. She's starting to get excited about visiting some haunted places. She wants to see a ghost... not sure how I'm going to wrangle that one!

"My back and legs and hips hurt like hell, but my soul feels 20 years younger."

I have more of life behind me than ahead, but your words sum up exactly why I'm still trying to work my way through my more ambitious bucket list adventures ! Whenever I waver, I shall think of you and forge ahead. Enjoy all your adventures to come !

Well done to you and your son. It's lovely reading such an uplifting post. Here's to many more adventures for you!

Well done! The best holidays are always when you just get up and go.

I loved reading this! Really warmed my heart OP.

I can't tell you how much I love this. I think that you're amazing and, clearly, your son does too. I'm wishing you and your boy many more happy and exciting adventures together.