Name changed due to level of outing considering I’ve told everyone and their budgie about this because I’m so pleased with myself.
severely stressed and depressed atm, not pit of doom, despair type stressed and depressed, more like the overwhelm that occurs when you’re fighting for your life to keep all the balls in the air and it just feels too much and there’s an overriding sense of being too bloody old and tired and inept to keep going. Anyway, on a whim, an impulse a ‘I just need to get away’ type feeling I booked a budget hotel on the coast. I told DH what I was up to, he was fine with it but was too busy with work to come. I took DS, a large mobility buggy, a massive amount of luggage consisting of clothes, toiletries, toys and medicines on a big train journey all on my own. It should be noted that DS has SEN, I have a few chronic health issues and some residual anxiety and fear of the unknown since all this occurred . But off we set. We’ve had a few magical days at the coast, it was perfect! we’ve had fabulous adventures and met new people and took risks and ( by our standards) partied hard. We’ve had some great cultural and arty experiences and some gorgeous conversations . DS has a newfound respect for his mum as a bit of a legend and seen me in a new light as being able to cope without Daddy and the car and also as being a lot of fun and an art and history geek which he’s never appreciated before . We left the phone on flight mode most of the time and reconnected without distraction and I boldly informed school and work what we were up to by email, because I’m not sorry. Having just arrived safely home and put him to bed with his final comment being ‘when can we go again?’ I’m walking on air as I feed the washing machine and sort his treasures from the beach. My back and legs and hips hurt like hell, but my soul feels 20 years younger. I’ll face the music at work tomorrow. His school were probably delighted of the break. I just feel so brave doing it alone with him and the dynamic was so different and special. I feel so liberated and want to do it again as many times as possible before I’m too old. I just want to go on adventures with my boy all the time now! A true turning point in our lives I think.