How much would you expect to spend on a hen party?

[KittyKat8597]

The reason I'm asking is because I'm organising a hen party for my cousin, who's getting married in June next year.

My cousin has let me have free rein on the hen party, with the only stipulation being that it isn't in our hometown. So I've managed to find a package deal which includes an overnight stay in a lovely apartment, a day activity and a booth in a club with a few complimentary drinks in a city that she loves. The price of all of this is £100. I thought this was a great deal, especially since all that's due now is a £25 deposit per person, and the rest of the balance is not due until May 2024.

I created a group chat with all the bridesmaids two weeks ago and detailed everything the hen party would involve and the costs. Most people said that they would come, however since then it's been radio silence and only one person has paid a deposit. It is now days before the deposits are all due and a minimum of 8 people are needed in order for the event to go ahead - if this requirement isn't met, I will have to cancel. I've sent several messages in the group chat but people are reading and not responding.

So my question is, AIBU for expecting people to pay £100 for a hen party? How much would you expect to pay? I appreciate that things may be tight for people at the moment, but I have tried to organise it well in advance in order to give people as much time as possible to pay it.

What’s the plan if people do pay the deposit and then half drop out?

Do a poll or one of those quizzes so you can get an idea of budgets
£100 seems reasonable as not like you’re asking for it all upfront but to some that plus wedding associated costs it might be too much

I would group message them saying:

Hi all,

I really need your help now. Deposits are due on x date and at this rate there aren’t enough of us to go ahead.

Are you all still ok with the original plan? If not, is it the cost/date/night away that’s the factor and do you have any ideas for alternatives?

Thanks

I was gonna say £80 before I read your full post. £100 isn't bad if you can spare it

I agree that £100 is very reasonable but what is the bedroom set up? How many people will have to share or even share with people they don't know?

I this this might be the sticking point.

Is this the first hen do you've organised OP?

If so - get pushy, early. It's like herding bloody cats. Some good suggestions upthread. I'd also second PP saying ask for more money sooner. You'll get some flakes who can afford to lose £25 but that stuffs the rest. Get another £25 off them within 2 months and then the rest ASAP in the new year. Be crystal clear what's included and what isn't. You'll get nowhere being wishy-washy about this and you'll end up out of pocket. It's a pain in the arse organising a hen do and the only way to manage is becoming militant and take no shit early doors.

Good luck.

PS £100 is a bargain

@KittyKat8597
What's making it more expensive is the fact that we are staying over as we will be quite far from home. It's what the bride wants so nothing I can do about it unfortunately
Yeah,I used to love that when younger, loved going to clubs!
Now I'm older, can't think of anything worse than a club where half the club goers are literally old enough to be my kid 😭🤣
Maybe it's that?!
Or maybe they've got young kids they don't want to or can't leave, I remember those days well.
Plus it's a lot of money for some to find for one night out
Bring back pub crawls in your local hometown, like mine was!

£100 for an overnight and and event is very cheap! Is there something else putting them off maybe like do the sleeping arrangements involve sharing a room/bed?

I mean it's all subjective isn't it. People have essentially been instructed to pay £100 for something they haven't asked to come to and feel like they can't say no. £100 could be a lot of money to someone. I just wish people would be more open about if they can or want to come. I've been in this position before and it's so hard to organise a hen do when no one is being honest about their thoughts on the plans and the cost.

£100 is way too much if you don’t want to go somewhere, and it sounds like they don’t want to go. It might not be about the money, it would be more about the time. I just couldn’t get wildly excited about a night out in a city I don’t live in, 7 months away. Why don’t you just go back to the bride and say that? Fine she’s getting married and that’s nice but that doesn’t automatically mean your mates who are adults with complex and busy lives and commitments want to spunk an entire weekend up the wall, going in clubs (which let’s face it no one enjoys past uni age) and sharing beds with people they wouldn’t normally choose to. Just go to the local pub or something, I beg you.