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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Train etiquette

37 replies

Mummyneedsacoffee · 09/10/2023 08:25

My partner and I just had a weekend away (which was utterly amazing)

Our journey home was via a two hour train journey, we had booked this train but not any specific seats. It’s apparent this was a very very busy train and we ended up walking through several carriages to find some empty seats.

my partner finally found a table with 4 seats available (we only needed two) and sat down. A lady further up the carriage comes strutting towards us and says “actually .. I was going to sit there”

my partner doesn’t like causing a scene and just got up. I said “we can actually sit here” (there was two of them and two of us) and she starts going off on one saying how she was going to sit there and how she had got up because she thought she was on the wrong train so she was entitled to the seats .. blah blah blah.

AIBU? We could have all sat there?! And even if only two seats were left… she got up and left them (I didn’t even know she had sat there before!) this woman was still ranting as I was walking to find other seats… the train was busy so she surely can’t expect 4 seats for just two of them?!

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 09/10/2023 08:28

If your arse is on the seat, it’s yours. I’d have told her to piss off.

VeridicalVagabond · 09/10/2023 08:30

Of course she was being a twat.

Ponoka7 · 09/10/2023 08:30

She's took her annoyance of thinking that she was on the wrong train out on you. Someone else would have come along after you and sat in the seats you left. She wouldn't have made the journey pleasant. It wasn't worth the hassle.

AlwaysPrettyOnTheInside · 09/10/2023 08:34

I wouldn't have moved, I'd have laughed at her ffs.

Original poster
Mummyneedsacoffee · 09/10/2023 09:15

I think I was more shocked at her pure entitlement!

i found seats further down but could still hear her moaning about me trying to take her seats!

OP posts:
Topseyt123 · 09/10/2023 09:21

Why on earth did you move for her? I wouldn't have. If the seat isn't actually reserved for anyone then it's first come first served.

You should have been assertive and refused to move.

GrandHighPoohbah · 09/10/2023 09:26

I would have just said "We got here first, but you're welcome to take the other 2", whilst steadfastly not moving.

Polopolly · 09/10/2023 09:27

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Previouslly banned poster.

Original poster
Mummyneedsacoffee · 09/10/2023 09:30

No need to call me pathetic… that’s abit over the top 🙄

I moved because I couldn’t be arsed to listen to her moan at me and it wasn’t worth the drama she was causing

OP posts:
ActDottie · 09/10/2023 09:33

She was being an entitled twat. I wouldn’t have moved for her no way!

Rewindthefilm · 09/10/2023 09:33

Unless she had reserved all four seats, there’s no reason why she had to declare anything!

Whataretheodds · 09/10/2023 09:33

She was being ridiculous. I'd have said "that's fine, there are still 2 seats left" and left it up to her if she wanted to sit back down or not.

PuttingDownRoots · 09/10/2023 09:34

Actually if there was seats elsewhere I would walk away too to get away from an irrational person. Its not worth it. But empty seat is usually fair game.

Polopolly · 09/10/2023 09:36

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Previouslly banned poster.

5128gap · 09/10/2023 09:39

I think etiquette might vary, but on my train its first bum first served as far as seats go.
No saving seats for a friend who hasn't been as nippy with boarding. No asking someone to move, and a 'someone's sitting there' would be met with a swift 'yeah, me!'

Ginmonkeyagain · 09/10/2023 09:39

She was a twat. There were four people and four seats, you could all sit down.

On a very busy train with no seat reservations the etiquette is you find the first empty seat , sit down and shut the fuck up.

Graciebobcat · 09/10/2023 09:45

I'd have asked her whether she has a seat reservation and said that they were welcome to sit next to us. And would have given a Paddington bear stare at the tantrum.

Graciebobcat · 09/10/2023 09:48

No saving seats for a friend who hasn't been as nippy with boarding

I think that is actually reasonable if the friend is just behind you.

And I often make sure my DM has a seat if it's a free for all as she is 83 and not as "nippy with boarding".

Hillcrest2022 · 09/10/2023 09:50

I think you know the answer . You were there first and took possession of the seats so they were yours. I hope people call her out on her entitlement in future otherwise she'll continue to behave this way.

Orange67 · 09/10/2023 09:56

Mummyneedsacoffee · 09/10/2023 09:30

No need to call me pathetic… that’s abit over the top 🙄

I moved because I couldn’t be arsed to listen to her moan at me and it wasn’t worth the drama she was causing

Thus allowing her to do it again to someone else in the future because it worked every time before.

Clarich007 · 09/10/2023 10:01

No way would I have moved in that situation.So many entitled people these days.She does it because it works.

SleepingStandingUp · 09/10/2023 10:04

I'd have just moved next to DH so one side was free. She was by to moan, you were being unreasonable to move.

Oowoo · 09/10/2023 10:14

Honestly I’d have done the exact same!! Especially after such a lovely weekend away what’s the point in having to sit there for the rest of the journey in hostile vibes!
some days I might have sat there anyway, and I’m sure you would too! But some days it is just nice to have a drama free life and take a couple extra seconds to find other seats to have a nice journey! I hope it didn’t put a dampener on the trip
the other night me and my partner waited over 3 hours for food in a restaurant and yeah it was shit but what else would we be doing? Sitting at home in a bad mood, so we just sat, chatted and enjoyed the meal with no complaints, sometimes it’s just nice to take things like this casually because in reality it’s not a big deal, it is just some seats or just a meal x

Original poster
Mummyneedsacoffee · 09/10/2023 10:32

@Polopolly no need for bitchy, nasty and pathetic comments … and yes I’ll call you out on it too.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mummyneedsacoffee · 09/10/2023 10:36

@Oowoo Exactly this. Didn’t want to ruin the weekend. Nice and drama free, I was just shocked she continued to moan as I was walking away!

OP posts: