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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It's an off lead dog one.

260 replies

Maluki · 07/10/2023 19:43

I walk my dog in the local park every day. There are sections where he is on lead and sections where I let him off. He is extremely used to people and dogs and generally very well behaved.

As we arrive at the park I always let him off lead and he does a poo. This is on a field area beside a path.

Today he did his poo in the field about 6 feet off the path as usual. I noticed a man in a suit approaching along the path. My dog then went back on to the path to wait for me and I leaned down to pick up the poo.

Very very unusually, my dog started to bark - he barked 4 or 5 times - and I saw he was now behind the man (who had walked past him). I was about to apologize, my dog almost never barks at people (he sometimes barks at really unusual things like a person wearing a sombrero or riding a tricycle, and this guy wasn't wearing anything unusual, except a slightly dishevelled suit on a Saturday morning). The man totally lost it at me. He started screaming that he had been bitten on the back of the leg by a dog, that my dog and dogs like him are aggressive and that it would bite my children and kill them (I didn't have my kids with me). He told me to get the dog away from him or he would kick it in the head. My dog is a bloody 10 lb cavapoo!

I appreciate that my dog should not have barked and that the man was triggered. If he had shouted to put it on a lead, before he walked past it, I would gladly have done so. My dog has excellent recall, and is completely reliable on the "wait" signal. He's actually a dream to get back on lead - but I hadn't called him over as there was no sign of what was about to happen. I do wonder if this man inadvertently spooked my dog or even kicked out at him in fear or something as it's so unusual for him to bark at people like that.

Aibu to think that the man, in his fear, may have inadvertently caused the dogs reaction? And that my dog behaved badly but it could have been avoided if the man had just called out for me to hold the dog?

OP posts:
hennaoj · 07/10/2023 19:52

Your dog picked up on his wierdness/fear, hence the barking. I suspect he would have had a rant at you regardless of how your dog had behaved or even whether he was on a lead.

Original poster
Maluki · 07/10/2023 19:58

hennaoj · 07/10/2023 19:52

Your dog picked up on his wierdness/fear, hence the barking. I suspect he would have had a rant at you regardless of how your dog had behaved or even whether he was on a lead.

I agree. Poor man I expect he gets barked at by a lot of dogs, it's a vicious circle. Why didn't he just ask me to call my dog over?

My dog was 5 feet away barking btw, but barking at him for sure. I mean he wasn't round his feet snarling or snapping or anything

OP posts:
Original poster
Maluki · 07/10/2023 20:01

We passed another couple of hundred people on the rest of our walk - kids playing rugby, toddlers unsteady on their feet, men and women on bikes, people pushing prams, riding scooters, people with dogs....he didn't bark at any of them.

OP posts:
Bigcoatweather · 07/10/2023 20:02

You sound very lovely OP but in my opinion (I have two dogs) this is the second ‘my off-lead dog caused a bad reaction when it scared a person…AIBU?’ posts I've seen this week.
Off-lead barking dogs, however small, can cause a fight or flight response in people, especially those who’ve experienced a bite or scary situation. A barking dog ON a secure lead is not as scary.

I feel sorry for both you and the man, but this situation was caused because your dog wasn’t entirely under your control - however cute it is!

Balloonhearts · 07/10/2023 20:03

He was probably acting weird out of fear and confused your dog who barked in response. Barking isn't an aggressive act, just as calling out to someone isn't aggressive. It's how they communicate, its literally their language.

rwalker · 07/10/2023 20:06

Did he bite him or not

Neverwatchedgameofthrones · 07/10/2023 20:06

I wish everyone would keep their dogs on leads at all times. I've got 5 dogs, smaller than yours that are always walked on leads. It's safer for everyone, especially them and makes for a much more pleasant environment.

Original poster
Maluki · 07/10/2023 20:09

I can see how his behaviour could have been perceived as scary by someone already scared. Being barked at isn't nice. He (dog) was not really being aggressive at all though - more, as you say, going "don't like this!"

In the past I have occasionally had someone say "my grandson is scared of dogs can you put him on lead" and I would never refuse. I just say "wait" and he will stand stock still until I can get to him.

OP posts:
TheCupboardUnderTheStairsAtTheMojoDojoCasaHouse · 07/10/2023 20:10

You acted entirely reasonably

Your dog's behaviour was undesirable but normal, and not the norm for them.

The man went massively over the top.

Sometimes dogs act up in public, rather like toddlers. I defy anyone who has raised a dog, or toddler, to say they never put a foot wrong, never thrown a tantrum in public, and were in fact reading Debretts as a bedtime story.

Original poster
Maluki · 07/10/2023 20:10

rwalker · 07/10/2023 20:06

Did he bite him or not

Did my dog bite the man? No, he has never bitten anyone.

The man was saying a dog had bitten him in the past - presumably why he is so wary.

OP posts:
Chickenwing2 · 07/10/2023 20:16

Dogs should be on the lead in public. End of story.

CoffeeChocolateandBooks · 07/10/2023 20:17

Your dog barked because he probably sensed something was off regarding the man.
Dogs are very protective.
I used to have a dog but all the joy has gone out of owning one now, so l would never get another one. My dog was a running dog, born to run, not to live a life tethered on a lead.

Original poster
Maluki · 07/10/2023 20:17

Chickenwing2 · 07/10/2023 20:16

Dogs should be on the lead in public. End of story.

But it's not the end of story, as that isn't the law. If it were, then yes.

OP posts:
pickledandpuzzled · 07/10/2023 20:17

It frustrates me that people have unreasonable expectations of dogs. They are not remote controlled.
They exist in our society and people need to learn how to behave around them, just as they learn how to behave around roads, wasps, and other hazards.

my young dog was passing a woman on a path in a country park. He looked at her, and she squealed and danced on the spot with her arms waving up in the air. It was guaranteed to attract his attention, and is in fact what I do when I’m calling him if he’s mislaid me. Not the right way to deal with a dog you don’t like.

Newuser75 · 07/10/2023 20:18

The man totally over reacted and there is no excuse to speak to you so aggressively but he is right really.

I'm pretty sure (will stand to be corrected) that a dog is classed as dangerous if someone feels threatened by it which this man obviously did.

justaboutdonenow · 07/10/2023 20:19

pickledandpuzzled · 07/10/2023 20:17

It frustrates me that people have unreasonable expectations of dogs. They are not remote controlled.
They exist in our society and people need to learn how to behave around them, just as they learn how to behave around roads, wasps, and other hazards.

my young dog was passing a woman on a path in a country park. He looked at her, and she squealed and danced on the spot with her arms waving up in the air. It was guaranteed to attract his attention, and is in fact what I do when I’m calling him if he’s mislaid me. Not the right way to deal with a dog you don’t like.

This!

rwalker · 07/10/2023 20:24

I can see your point of view and I can see his and tbh nether trumps the other one
I’d just draw a line under it

Undisclosedlocation · 07/10/2023 20:25

while the man totally overreacted, this is the reason I ALWAYS recall my dogs away from random members of the public and do nit allow them to approach or interact without my express permission
Humans are just as (if not more so)unpredictable as dogs imo. and I have no desire whatsoever to put my dogs in the firing line for the weird responses of random strangers.

Original poster
Maluki · 07/10/2023 20:27

I mean I told him off, and he went back on lead for a considerable amount of time, but I feel a bit torn. He was acting on instinct, and I kind of don't want to make him think he can't alert to people he thinks may be up to no good....if we ever get burgled I would want him to bark at those guys.

It's an off lead dog one.
OP posts:
Loubelle70 · 07/10/2023 20:28

I have a fear of dogs off lead... however i always give them a wide birth if possible. Walk around away...he probably has real phobia but tbh if he has, why be in an area where people walk dogs

smilesup · 07/10/2023 20:32

Chickenwing2 · 07/10/2023 20:16

Dogs should be on the lead in public. End of story.

No they shouldn't. End of.

TheCupboardUnderTheStairsAtTheMojoDojoCasaHouse · 07/10/2023 20:37

Chickenwing2 · 07/10/2023 20:16

Dogs should be on the lead in public. End of story.

Are you always incapable of differentiating between your personal opinion and the law?

NoIcePlease · 07/10/2023 20:40

I wish everyone would keep their dogs on leads at all times. I've got 5 dogs, smaller than yours that are always walked on leads

You've got very small dogs, smaller than a cavapoo. Yes, a pootle around on a lead is probably great for them. Not all dogs are like yours though. I have a Springer Spaniel. Onlead doesn't cut it and she'd be miserable (and unhealthy).

I agree with the pp. Dogs exist and yes they should be under the control of the owner but people also need to react appropriately to them.

My dog doesn't pay any attention to people on a walk. None at all, totally ignores them. She'll politely sniff other dogs then wander away or occasionally play chase with a dog when invited to do so by them (yes, invited by the dog with clear 'run with me!' signs). Yet still, every couple of days we'll pass someone who'll dramatically yank their 10 year old close as she walks past them or jump and squeal or similar. It's ridiculous.

Sehenswürdigkeiten · 07/10/2023 20:44

TheCupboardUnderTheStairsAtTheMojoDojoCasaHouse · 07/10/2023 20:37

Are you always incapable of differentiating between your personal opinion and the law?

Show quote history

Do you always dismiss others valid opinions, just because it's not 'the law'?
People are allowed to state a view and not feel like it's up for debate. I personally wish there were stricter rules regarding dogs being on leads in public places too, for the safety of humans and dogs, and I say this as someone who has owned dogs and appreciates their good points (as well as the not so good ones!).

Sehenswürdigkeiten · 07/10/2023 20:46

Loubelle70 · 07/10/2023 20:28

I have a fear of dogs off lead... however i always give them a wide birth if possible. Walk around away...he probably has real phobia but tbh if he has, why be in an area where people walk dogs

If I didn't go in areas 'where people walk dogs' then I wouldn't be able to leave my front garden, walk to the shop, walk down the town, walk along a beach and so on. It's reasonable to expect dogs to be under control and if an off lead dog starts barking at someone then it's not under control. @Maluki your dog looks lovely, but if he suddenly started barking me for simply walking past him then I wouldn't be too pleased either tbh. Something perhaps spooked him about the person, but an off lead barking dog isn't great imho.