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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It's an off lead dog one.

260 replies

Maluki · 07/10/2023 19:43

I walk my dog in the local park every day. There are sections where he is on lead and sections where I let him off. He is extremely used to people and dogs and generally very well behaved.

As we arrive at the park I always let him off lead and he does a poo. This is on a field area beside a path.

Today he did his poo in the field about 6 feet off the path as usual. I noticed a man in a suit approaching along the path. My dog then went back on to the path to wait for me and I leaned down to pick up the poo.

Very very unusually, my dog started to bark - he barked 4 or 5 times - and I saw he was now behind the man (who had walked past him). I was about to apologize, my dog almost never barks at people (he sometimes barks at really unusual things like a person wearing a sombrero or riding a tricycle, and this guy wasn't wearing anything unusual, except a slightly dishevelled suit on a Saturday morning). The man totally lost it at me. He started screaming that he had been bitten on the back of the leg by a dog, that my dog and dogs like him are aggressive and that it would bite my children and kill them (I didn't have my kids with me). He told me to get the dog away from him or he would kick it in the head. My dog is a bloody 10 lb cavapoo!

I appreciate that my dog should not have barked and that the man was triggered. If he had shouted to put it on a lead, before he walked past it, I would gladly have done so. My dog has excellent recall, and is completely reliable on the "wait" signal. He's actually a dream to get back on lead - but I hadn't called him over as there was no sign of what was about to happen. I do wonder if this man inadvertently spooked my dog or even kicked out at him in fear or something as it's so unusual for him to bark at people like that.

Aibu to think that the man, in his fear, may have inadvertently caused the dogs reaction? And that my dog behaved badly but it could have been avoided if the man had just called out for me to hold the dog?

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 07/10/2023 22:18

“Not really being aggressive” this man thought he was.
He does sometimes bark at people. Not ok. Recall him when someone approaches?

Sunnyjac · 07/10/2023 22:21

@Teddleshon see my above post. It is an overreaction but one most likely triggered by fear and not easily controlled

ShirleyPhallus · 07/10/2023 22:23

Sehenswürdigkeiten · 07/10/2023 21:05

Why?

Show quote history

What a sad life for them that they’re never allowed to explore beyond the length of a lead

kitsuneghost · 07/10/2023 22:23

Furrydogmum · 07/10/2023 22:01

I was lead walking my 7ish stone dog in the local woodland earlier in the week. There were several off lead small dogs barking and yapping and running amok. When they got closer my boy started barking at their excitement, and the other owners looked at me like I was the devil. He stopped barking very quickly but I know that in their minds I was the one with the dangerous out of control dog because he looks the part 🤷‍♀️ He never barks at people, if he did I would avoid going where he had the opportunity, mainly because of his "dangerous appearance". I don't let him off lead in public for the same reason.

But OPs dog never barks at anyone either

LightSpeeds · 07/10/2023 22:26

Sorry, but you're trying to blame the man for your dog barking, because he was scared or a bit odd or something. Or he should have asked you to put a lead on the dog and somehow anticipate what was going to happen.

It's your responsibility to ensure that other people are safe near your dog.

I really hope your dog didn't bite that man!

ozzcla · 07/10/2023 22:26

He looks exactly like my boy Teddy. Also a cavapoo. Teddy is friendly with everyone apart from my grandad. He will stand in front of me and constantly bark at him. All my previous dogs have loved my grandad just teddy that hasn't taken a liking to him. As others have said he could of sensed something about the guy he didn't like and felt you needing protecting. They bark as a warning to you. If he didn't hurt the guy I wouldn't worry about it x

Furrydogmum · 07/10/2023 22:29

kitsuneghost · 07/10/2023 22:23

But OPs dog never barks at anyone either

Show quote history

I'm not sure what point you're trying to make here..

hollywally54 · 07/10/2023 22:30

My honest opinion is that all dogs should be on a lead in public places unless they have impeccable recall and wont approach others. It sounds like your dog didn't do much wrong but as you've seen, even the best behaved ones can act out of character at times.

I do think the man was over the top in his reaction but I personally wouldn't walk mine off lead in a place where we're likely to bump into other people. It just saves all this type of agro and is safer for them too.

kitsuneghost · 07/10/2023 22:33

Furrydogmum · 07/10/2023 22:29

I'm not sure what point you're trying to make here..

Show quote history

You said your dog never barks at anyone.
Many dog owners say their dogs never do xxx until they do

explainthistomeplease · 07/10/2023 22:36

hollywally54 · 07/10/2023 22:30

My honest opinion is that all dogs should be on a lead in public places unless they have impeccable recall and wont approach others. It sounds like your dog didn't do much wrong but as you've seen, even the best behaved ones can act out of character at times.

I do think the man was over the top in his reaction but I personally wouldn't walk mine off lead in a place where we're likely to bump into other people. It just saves all this type of agro and is safer for them too.

Please define public spaces.

ivybx · 07/10/2023 22:36

I think it should be a law for dogs to be on a lead at all times. Not everyone is a fan of dogs and not everyone wants a dog near them, I can't see any reason for them to be off of a lead in a public place.

CwmYoy · 07/10/2023 22:37

Your dog should have been on a lead.

All dogs should be in public.

Cuttysark4321 · 07/10/2023 22:38

Tricky one! I find dogs barking at me quite scary, as do my children but then we've had a bad experience and aren't dog people. No excuse for the guys behaviour at all and I can understand why that would have upset you.

Furrydogmum · 07/10/2023 22:40

kitsuneghost · 07/10/2023 22:33

You said your dog never barks at anyone.
Many dog owners say their dogs never do xxx until they do

Show quote history

As I said, he is never off lead in a public place, so if he did bark at someone, which he never has, he would still be under my physical control.

Cuttysark4321 · 07/10/2023 22:41

This! Dogs make me so uncomfortable and anxious when they are lively and off the lead in public but there seems to be an assumption by some dog owners that you should be comfortable with their animal.

hollywally54 · 07/10/2023 22:46

@explainthistomeplease um...places intended for public use. Such as a local park like the op mentioned. If you know there's a good chance other people will be around I would personally always keep my dogs on lead.

Wolfiefan · 07/10/2023 22:46

Dogs are allowed off lead in many places in public. That works fine as well as they are under control.

Original poster
Maluki · 07/10/2023 22:49

Ok I get the wider points people are making but:

He didn't run up to anyone. He was stood in the path waiting for me and the man walked past him.

He most certainly didn't bite (or growl or snarl). The man referred to a previous bite.

He wasn't out of my control, or dangerous - though I understand the man may have felt endangered.

In terms of whether people are safe near my dog @LightSpeeds yes, it's my responsibility to ensure they are actually safe. This man was not in danger. I accept he obviously felt he was. Does he, as the sentient human (he was at least in his 40s) in the interaction, have no responsibility to help his own feelings of safety? As I said earlier, if he would have said "I am not a dog fan, can you keep your dog near you?" I'd have done so no question. If he doesn't say anything until he's yelling at me that my dog needs it's head kicking in, how can I nip that in the bud?

OP posts:
NotAnotherPylon · 07/10/2023 22:49

FIL had his two dogs out a while back. He came home effing and blinding because a woman with her child had pulled said child protectively towards her and stood still because FIL's dogs were running up to them and barking. He apparently gave her a mouthful about the fact he thought she was being ridiculous and that his dogs wouldn't touch her. He really had no understanding whatsoever as to why anyone might be scared of his 'friendly' dogs. Unfortunately that's what you're up against sometimes. It only takes a couple of incidents like that for people to be wary of all dogs and to tar all owners with the one brush. FIL is a plonker.

Original poster
Maluki · 07/10/2023 22:50

CwmYoy · 07/10/2023 22:37

Your dog should have been on a lead.

All dogs should be in public.

Not the law. So you might feel he should have been, but it isn't a legal requirement.

OP posts:
ivybx · 07/10/2023 22:51

@Maluki the man didn't have to act the way he did but he also shouldn't have to ask you to keep your dog away from him or near to you? I genuinely feel like dog people just expect everyone to love their dog and that's not always the case. If you just keep your dog on a lead, your dog is still out and about and not near people who may be terrified/just not like animals ?

NoIcePlease · 07/10/2023 22:55

I think it should be a law for dogs to be on a lead at all times. Not everyone is a fan of dogs and not everyone wants a dog near them

That sounds like a you problem.

I'm not a fan of encountering screeching, whinging toddlers when I'm enjoying my daily walk but there you go. I'd rather they were all kept on reins in busy places so you don't have to worry about them wandering directly into your path, but that's not going to happen.

I don't get to have everything in life arranged perfectly to my preference ...which I accept because I'm a grown up.

ivybx · 07/10/2023 22:56

NoIcePlease · 07/10/2023 22:55

I think it should be a law for dogs to be on a lead at all times. Not everyone is a fan of dogs and not everyone wants a dog near them

That sounds like a you problem.

I'm not a fan of encountering screeching, whinging toddlers when I'm enjoying my daily walk but there you go. I'd rather they were all kept on reins in busy places so you don't have to worry about them wandering directly into your path, but that's not going to happen.

I don't get to have everything in life arranged perfectly to my preference ...which I accept because I'm a grown up.

I will never ever understand the comparison between dogs and toddlers 🤣 seems to be only dog people who say this. Very weird.

Snugglemonkey · 07/10/2023 22:56

letstrythatagain · 07/10/2023 20:47

He was in a big field next to the path. You can't permanently keep a dog on a lead in public. They need to be able to run and sniff about. I get it on a high street etc but they have to be able to come off lead somewhere.

Show quote history

Dog runs? I love dogs, but following several bad experiences, I also feel dogs should be on leads in public, outwith specific dog areas. I am scared of off lead dogs barking, or running at me and I don't think it is OK to scare people.

NoIcePlease · 07/10/2023 22:59

I will never ever understand the comparison between dogs and toddlers 🤣 seems to be only dog people who say this. Very weird

Having owned and trained several of both, personally I find them fairly similar beasts. Except when it comes to other peoples', I usually find dogs far less irritating.