Page 2 | Is your 9 year old really annoying?

suzukili22 · 2023-10-07T17:25:44+00:00

I’m just wondering if this is an age thing or a me thing. I love my 9 year old but I find her so bloody irritating. I feel like I have the ick. I’m hoping it passes quickly but at the minute I’m struggling to be around her! aibu to hope this is just a common thing with this age group?

Original poster

suzukili22 · 07/10/2023 20:02

BakedTattie · 07/10/2023 20:00

Ffs all the ‘no my children could never annoy me’ fuck off.

kids are annoying. Even more so if you have sensory issues. I hear you.
we love them, but they are still annoying.

Some real unhinged people on here. And always so quick to jump to adhd and autism diagnosis over literally knowing 1 sentence about a child.

OP posts:

Pollyputhekettleon · 07/10/2023 20:04

BakedTattie · 07/10/2023 20:00

Ffs all the ‘no my children could never annoy me’ fuck off.

kids are annoying. Even more so if you have sensory issues. I hear you.
we love them, but they are still annoying.

Some of some people's kids are annoying some of the time, all of the time or never. Some parents are more easily annoyed than others. Some parents get annoyed but don't get 'the ick' from their children. That's not actually super common you know. And I'm pretty sure literally not a single person on this thread said their children could never annoy them. You just made that up for dramatic effect. But swear some more.

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 07/10/2023 20:04

Pollyputhekettleon · 07/10/2023 19:57

Oh so you just wanted company to bitch about your unfortunate daughter but have no intention of doing anything to sort out the situation. Nice. I'd rather be 'rude' any day of the week.

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Surely the number of people sympathising with OP tells you that it's not just her and she's probably not some uniquely awful parent

Pollyputhekettleon · 07/10/2023 20:07

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 07/10/2023 20:04

Surely the number of people sympathising with OP tells you that it's not just her and she's probably not some uniquely awful parent

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Where did I say it was just her and she's a uniquely awful parent? Find it for me. I'll wait.

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 07/10/2023 20:10

That's what I got from "you just wanted to bitch about your unfortunate daughter". Oh, and when you told another user that it's not normal for a parent to get the ick about their child. And when you said you'd rather be rude than be like the OP. None of that is acceptable stuff to say to another person. If you don't want people to think you're being unpleasant, don't be unpleasant.

If that doesn't satisfy you, wait as long as you like 🙂

Luckymummytoone · 07/10/2023 20:12

Mine is the same age OP and I feel the same sometimes! The back chat and the attitude … definitely feel like I have a teenager already 🥺

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 07/10/2023 20:13

Oh I have another one! "Are you going to get that diagnosed and get help so you can manage it or are you just going to keep getting annoyed at your child and hope she doesn't pick up on it?" I think that's pretty unpleasant too. Did you think it wasn't?

Pollyputhekettleon · 07/10/2023 20:15

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 07/10/2023 20:10

That's what I got from "you just wanted to bitch about your unfortunate daughter". Oh, and when you told another user that it's not normal for a parent to get the ick about their child. And when you said you'd rather be rude than be like the OP. None of that is acceptable stuff to say to another person. If you don't want people to think you're being unpleasant, don't be unpleasant.

If that doesn't satisfy you, wait as long as you like 🙂

Not a single bit of that implies that it's just her and that she's a uniquely awful parent. And of course all of it was in response to her calling me rude for attempting to help her.

It's not normal for a parent to get the ick about their child, no. The truth is good. Does that imply she's the only parent on earth that has ever happened to? No, obviously not. What kind of person wouldn't rather be rude than refuse any advise trying to help them to overcome such 'ick' so that the innocent child in the middle of this will never sense how her mother actually feels about her? You and I clearly have different definitions of unpleasant.

TrumpetOfTheMatriarchy · 07/10/2023 20:16

Pollyputhekettleon · 07/10/2023 20:07

Where did I say it was just her and she's a uniquely awful parent? Find it for me. I'll wait.

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You sound nice Polly, so empathetic and non confrontational.

BananaSlug · 07/10/2023 20:16

Yes my 9 year old is awful and I struggle being around him but he is constantly teasing and winding up his siblings and I find that extremely difficult

Thepossibility · 07/10/2023 20:16

My 9yo is annoying and has always been that way. His older sister wasn't annoying at all so I think it's just his personality. Although come to think of it his 9yo cousin is a PITA as well.

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 07/10/2023 20:18

I did not think that your message sounded remotely helpful, and it wasn't even aimed at me. I honestly thought it was pretty vicious.

PandaExpress · 07/10/2023 20:21

Not at all. At that age they sometimes pick up silly pronunciations, but it was easy for me to say "Why are you talking like that? Don't"
Never found her annoying though. It sounds like she's just being a normal 9 year old and the issue is with you.

RichardArmitagesWife · 07/10/2023 20:21

I love my children very much but yes, they were annoying as hell at that age.

One was permanently furious; one was endlessly weepy; one spent two years being aggrieved that the world didn't confirm to their demands.

Thank fuck it was just a phase. Don't worry, OP, it will get better.

Itsjeremycorbynsfault · 07/10/2023 20:22

Yes same here ! My DD is nearly 9

Constant singing, talking, humming, dancing, screeching, winding her brother up and 'mum, watch this....'

Just a happy go-lucky child but dear god my head is near exploding from sensory overload 😂

Pollyputhekettleon · 07/10/2023 20:22

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 07/10/2023 20:13

Oh I have another one! "Are you going to get that diagnosed and get help so you can manage it or are you just going to keep getting annoyed at your child and hope she doesn't pick up on it?" I think that's pretty unpleasant too. Did you think it wasn't?

In what possible universe is it rude to suggest that someone who thinks she has autism and accompanying sensory issues, which are causing her to find her 9 year old 'icky' and 'bloody irritating', should actually get a diagnosis and appropriate support?

Is it a bad thing that someone who suspects they have autism would get a formal diagnosis? People do that every day you know. There's nothing wrong with it, it's a sensible and helpful thing for many to do. Especially if it's affecting their relationships, above all with their children.

Should they all stop doing that for some reason? Or is it just that you object to anyone else suggesting it? The goal of course is that she would stop getting 'the ick' around her daughter, right? Because you do understand that's not pleasant for the child if she picks up on it, which she likely will? And it's obviously not a whole lot of fun for the OP either. Reality can be unpleasant. Ignoring it doesn't make it better.

Itsjeremycorbynsfault · 07/10/2023 20:22

Oh and until very recently a phase of talking in a whiny baby voice.

MilitantMommyBFArmy4Life · 07/10/2023 20:24

Give it a rest, Polly.

My dds are a similar age and also can be very annoying with the talking, whinging, begging for sweets etc. Doesnt mean they aren't funny and lovely at other times. It's always full on when you don't have another parent/family to have them at times.

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 07/10/2023 20:27

@Pollyputhekettleon OK, we'll rewrite what you said as "You sound like you're struggling. Perhaps you do have a disability that's making it hard for you to connect with your child. Have you thought about following that up with your GP?"

Because that would have been fine, I agree. It's just not what you said 😊

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 07/10/2023 20:27

Anyway, this is getting in the way of people who actually do want to help the OP, so I'll draw a line there.

Original poster

suzukili22 · 07/10/2023 20:33

I’m going to take a sick day on Monday I think as my toddler will be at nursery too. I will kick my husband out of the house so I can just lie on the sofa all day in peace.

OP posts:

Cowlover89 · 07/10/2023 20:39

Yanbu

Gillypie23 · 07/10/2023 20:39

It's a you problem. Not her.

amusedbush · 07/10/2023 20:52

suzukili22 · 07/10/2023 20:02

Some real unhinged people on here. And always so quick to jump to adhd and autism diagnosis over literally knowing 1 sentence about a child.

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To be fair, you said you think you're autistic. If you are ND, there's a high chance that your child is, too. I think people were just asking if she could be a bit more intense than other kids because of ND, which, in turn, is causing you more sensory overload.

I'm autistic and have ADHD (formally diagnosed, medicated for the latter) so no judgement.

DisappearingGirl · 07/10/2023 20:57

Polly if only it was that easy for everyone who thinks they might be autistic to "get that diagnosed and get help" and then no longer struggle with the things they are struggling with. Like nipping to the shop for some paracetamol perhaps?