To move to the other end of the country?

[scrambledeggchair]

I've lived in my town all of my life, and have lived in my house for the past 8 years. My landlord has just decided to sell.

I'm a single parent to an 8yo DD and we have a dog. I'm almost certain we couldn't pass the affordability test for any other places around here (SE - very expensive).

We've had a really traumatic year. My DD developed a neurological disorder last Christmas, which caused severe OCD & suicidal ideation. She's doing much better now, but she's become a bit of a target for bullies at school after it all. She's also been referred (though still years away from) for ASC/ ADHD assessment, and the SEN support at her school is awful. She's desperate to move schools.

Also, her dad got out of prison last year and had a bipolar episode in the spring - tried to kick the door in, made a scene at her school etc. He's in prison again now but nobody's sure for how long, so that's another source of anxiety.

I think I've been low-level depressed for years, really - just stuck in a rut and too demotivated to do anything about it.

But when I got the call about the landlord selling, out of nowhere my brain just told me we should relocate.

One of my best friends lives in a seaside town in the north-east, and she loves it. We could rent a much cheaper, much much nicer house up there, and they seem to be way more chilled about benefits/ pets.

We don't have a very close family and don't see anybody much - everyone thinks it's a good idea (which I find reassuring as I have ADHD and have made lots of stupid decisions in the past).

I WFH and my boss thinks I should do it too - he actually gave me the morning off to start researching so no worries there.

I've started to look at schools & there are lots in the area which look fantastic, but I'm going to chat to all the SENCOs next week.

I've floated the idea past my DD and she's ridiculously keen - she can't stop talking about it! I think a fresh start is exactly what we both need.

But it's so scary! There just seems like so much to do, nothing can be done in a sensible order (eg sign new tenancy, get school place, give notice on this place), I'm terrified of it all going wrong and DD getting really poorly again etc etc. I've been homeless before & being homeless with DD is my biggest fear.

So AIBU to move 300 miles with my DD & pup, do you think?

Has anybody done similar? I'd love to read some positive stories!

So pleased for you. It's great up North.

I'd do it. It sounds a great idea. Northumberland is beautiful and the people so friendly.

@scrambledeggchair
All the best. I'm local ISH to you. Don't tell everyone how nice it is up here. Happy new year.

I too would like to wish you all the luck in the world and hope your children will be able to play outside with their new found friends , it makes such a huge difference to childhood to have new adventures every day .

Loverd reading this thread and your update! I'm from Durham originally and now live in the North West, you are going to love the change!
Sincerely wishing you both the best of luck and hoping your dd settles into her new school.

Love this thread and the update, good luck OP.

We've been here for two weeks now and it's just so lovely! Our house is gorgeous, and I love the area - lovely quiet woodland & beaches on our doorstep for dog walks (our dog is definitely living his best life!), but also great clubs for DD, and quite a few big cities within 2hrs or so that we can explore when we fancy a change of scenery!

Everyone's so so nice, and the best thing by far is that DD LOVES her new school! She actually felt a bit gutted it was the weekend this from a kid who 6 months ago could barely go to school as her mental health was so bad & school exacerbated it so much.

She was picked on every day & the school were not interested in making any accommodations for her SEN or intervening in the bullying. Every Sunday night she'd cry about going back.

She won the weekly award at her new school yesterday & I got to go into assembly. Her teacher said she'd settled in so amazingly & was so enthusiastic and confident. She's made friends, nobody's been mean & her teacher is asking her about accommodations and putting them in place before she's even become dysregulated.

It's just amazing, honestly feel like I've won the lottery!! We've been through so much over the past year and I was so scared to make the move but I think it's the best decision I've ever made.

Thank you everyone for your best wishes and kind words

What a lovely update, I'm so pleased that you and your Dd are settling in well in your new home and area. People in the north east are generally very friendly and helpful and it is a beautiful part of the country.

Lovely update Op. So pleased for you 💐

Really happy for you @scrambledeggchair . Lovely update. ❤️

Ahh this is the first time I've seen your thread and it's made me well up! I'm so happy for you both (and doggy), the NE is my favourite place in the UK for holidays, so much to do and like you say the people are just amazing.

Fantastic! I hope you post now and then with updates, it's lovely to hear when someone makes a change to their own life and it works out.

Missed this thread earlier but what a lovely update. I'm really pleased it's working out well for you. Your DD's school sounds brilliant.

can anyone recommend nice areas in Northumberland where the house prices are good and it's not too far from the sea?

Isn’t it lovely when an OP comes back with an update and such good news.

Good for you, so glad your daughter is settling in well and making friends.

Wishing you both all the best 😊

Lovely update. Welcome to the North East!

What a lovely update. I'm so happy for your daughter. It's not perfect up here but we are very friendly.

When it warms up have a day out in Saltburn, the funicular alone is worth the trip. I'm a little envious of all the places you get to discover.

Have you managed to get a job yet?

Thank you for the wonderful update, OP!
I'm so happy for you and your daughter.

and happy for your dog, too, of course!

From the opening post:

I WFH and my boss thinks I should do it too - he actually gave me the morning off to start researching so no worries there.

This is so lovely to hear, OP. And as someone who grew up in that neck of the woods I’m so happy to hear you love it and that everyone is being friendly. You’re making me want to move home 😊

I've lived all over the UK and settled in a Yorkshire coast town 4 years ago. Best move I've ever done. Made so many great new friends (mainly through sea swimming). It's a dog-loving place, run down in parts but plenty going on and an such an easy place to shop, with great walks in all directions. It sounds like you both need a fresh start. Can recommend.