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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To move to the other end of the country?

73 replies

scrambledeggchair · 07/10/2023 14:03

I've lived in my town all of my life, and have lived in my house for the past 8 years. My landlord has just decided to sell.

I'm a single parent to an 8yo DD and we have a dog. I'm almost certain we couldn't pass the affordability test for any other places around here (SE - very expensive).

We've had a really traumatic year. My DD developed a neurological disorder last Christmas, which caused severe OCD & suicidal ideation. She's doing much better now, but she's become a bit of a target for bullies at school after it all. She's also been referred (though still years away from) for ASC/ ADHD assessment, and the SEN support at her school is awful. She's desperate to move schools.

Also, her dad got out of prison last year and had a bipolar episode in the spring - tried to kick the door in, made a scene at her school etc. He's in prison again now but nobody's sure for how long, so that's another source of anxiety.

I think I've been low-level depressed for years, really - just stuck in a rut and too demotivated to do anything about it.

But when I got the call about the landlord selling, out of nowhere my brain just told me we should relocate.

One of my best friends lives in a seaside town in the north-east, and she loves it. We could rent a much cheaper, much much nicer house up there, and they seem to be way more chilled about benefits/ pets.

We don't have a very close family and don't see anybody much - everyone thinks it's a good idea (which I find reassuring as I have ADHD and have made lots of stupid decisions in the past).

I WFH and my boss thinks I should do it too - he actually gave me the morning off to start researching so no worries there.

I've started to look at schools & there are lots in the area which look fantastic, but I'm going to chat to all the SENCOs next week.

I've floated the idea past my DD and she's ridiculously keen - she can't stop talking about it! I think a fresh start is exactly what we both need.

But it's so scary! There just seems like so much to do, nothing can be done in a sensible order (eg sign new tenancy, get school place, give notice on this place), I'm terrified of it all going wrong and DD getting really poorly again etc etc. I've been homeless before & being homeless with DD is my biggest fear.

So AIBU to move 300 miles with my DD & pup, do you think?

Has anybody done similar? I'd love to read some positive stories!

OP posts:
JaneyGee · 07/10/2023 20:18

I'm in the south east and would definitely move to Northumberland or Scotland if I had the chance. It's unbearably crowded down here. Developers have hacked into our local woods to build a giant new housing estate, and another massive estate is being built at the other end of the village. As for the traffic, it's so bad I hardly go out at the weekends anymore. On top of that, the summers are getting too damn hot. Right now, it's like a muggy July evening.

Lou670 · 07/10/2023 20:24

ooh I love this thread as it is where I am from (Saltburn by the sea!). Redcar is just down the road from Saltburn. I now live in the South East but would move back up to the North East in a heartbeat! Good Luck with whatever you decide but I think it would be good for you and your daughter to have a fresh start.

fireplacetiles · 07/10/2023 20:38

Go for it, the NE is full of warm friendly people you will love it. Be careful in Redcar, it has iit's not so nice bits but Saltburn, Guisborough ( which has a great secondary school) are lovely.
Good luck with your move x

muddyford · 07/10/2023 20:39

Planning to move from south-west to north-east in due course, with two dogs. The climate down here is killing me. Go for it!

Original poster
scrambledeggchair · 08/10/2023 15:52

Thank you all! I loved that thread in classics too, made me cry - I so hope it works out as well for us as it did for the OP & her family 🙏🏼

Been decluttering today in preparation! I need to give 2 months notice & save up enough for the moving costs (£££) so I reckon it'll be the new year we move. But I will come back and update!

OP posts:
uncomfortablydumb53 · 08/10/2023 16:29

Do it OP
You have everything to gain and nothing to lose
You have a friend there in a beautiful part of the country

Original poster
scrambledeggchair · 01/12/2023 16:16

Just coming back to say we've found a really lovely school & have signed a tenancy agreement on an absolutely gorgeous house today. I can have an office! DD can have an en suite! It's a new build so won't have to scrub mould off the walls each week like we do here.

I thought something must go wrong at some point, but it looks like we might finally just have luck on our side!

OP posts:
pippinsleftleg · 01/12/2023 16:27

Fantastic news!

ApolloandDaphne · 01/12/2023 16:40

That is fantastic. Enjoy your new life.

goody2shooz · 01/12/2023 17:29

@scrambledeggchair how wonderful! Wishing you all the best for your new life 💐

FictionalCharacter · 01/12/2023 17:35

That’s so wonderful to hear! 💐

Original poster
scrambledeggchair · 27/12/2023 19:16

Moving day tomorrow! DDs super poorly, either COVID or flu & I haven't been able to get our anxious little dog any sedatives for the drive like I'd hoped, so I'm very nervous!! But this time tomorrow we'll be there & it'll all have been worth it Smile

OP posts:
Bramblestarr · 27/12/2023 19:24

I'm from the Cleveland area and it's lovely. People are friendly and you and your daughter will be able to make new friends. Hope the move goes okay!

baubl · 27/12/2023 19:30

Good luck OP, you're doing exactly what I'd love to do! Whereabouts are you going?

Original poster
scrambledeggchair · 27/12/2023 19:41

Such a stereotype but we both couldn't believe how friendly people were when we visited! More than anything I hope this applies to the kids too - there are some real bullies in her school now, and I'd just love her to make friends with a few nice kind kids.

Moving to Redcar Smile I know there are some dodgy bits but don't think we're in one of them! And regardless, we went all over when we visited and I didn't spot any needles/ broken glass/ dog poo/ human poo on the streets - we come across at least one of these every day on our 4 min walk to school down here. We're moving to a new-build estate which is quite fancy for the area & seems to have a real sense of community. I'd love for DD to be able to play out!!

OP posts:
WithIcePlease · 27/12/2023 19:50

My very best wishes OP
It's so exciting! It'll be lovely sitting with all your stuff in your new home and maybe a take away tomorrow evening.

everyredsock · 27/12/2023 20:14

I moved from London to Northumberland and I absolutely love it. The kids are young teens and they have so much freedom. We have a much smaller mortgage and a much nicer house in a really 'naice' area. Best move ever.

BibbleandSqwauk · 27/12/2023 22:50

The very best of luck to you and your DD . Great to hear it's all working out ok.

randomstress · 27/12/2023 22:53

Wishing you all the best OP for the new year and all the years ahead.

Karwomannghia · 27/12/2023 22:55

Good luck tomorrow! Lovely to read your updates.

Movetothesea · 28/12/2023 00:58

Good luck with the move, we are all routing for you! It’s lovely to read about your progress. Hope that your all settle in and have a better life in your new location.

TheFormidableMrsC · 28/12/2023 01:09

So happy for you! I want to do this, just need to grow some balls. Could be mortgage free. Could change the utter monotony of my life. I'm really inspired. Good luck OP! Flowers

SweetChilliChickenWrap · 28/12/2023 01:17

Well done OP!

The beaches there are to die for, loads of walkies for your doggy. Whales and dolphins to be spotted too if you're lucky.

You'll love the big skies I think, and air so much fresher than London.

MyNamechange2024 · 28/12/2023 01:19

Good luck OP, hope all goes well.

Bramblestarr · 31/12/2023 00:22

Hopefully you and your family settle in well. Redcar is lovely and in summer so close to get out in fresh air and enjoy the beach.
No where is perfect and there is good and bad everywhere but I hope you settle in and love your move to the little seaside town 😀