AIBU to be concerned about what my friend did?

[Justmeplease1]

My friend doesn’t live in this country. She told me that she struggled to get a taxi home after a night out. Her and a friend were stranded with no way home.

Her and her friend that she was out with are neighbours. My friend’s husband FaceTimed her friends husband and left the phone in his kids room so that he could watch their kids who were in bed asleep. Her friends husband had his own children at home.

Her husband left the kids at home alone for 20 mins whilst he collected them. The children are 10 and 8.

AIBU to think that this wasn’t a wise idea? I don’t want to sound judgemental but I do want to maybe suggest to my friend that she shouldn’t do this again. Also don’t want to poke my nose in if I’m being unreasonable. Thanks.

Not unreasonable in a matter of urgency.

I don't see an issue. They aren't babies, they were fast asleep, they were being watched through the phone the whole time, and the neihgbour was close by.

What do you suggest they did? Let the women walk home?

Seems like a pretty sensible solution to an emergency situation.

They are 8 and 10 not newborn and two, they aren’t going to choke to death.

It’s totally fine.

It depends on the children. I wouldn't do it but could have left my two to do that. My eight year old GC is very sensible and just goes to the toilet in the night and doesn't look in on my DD.

Yabu, at that age and with the precautions they took then I think it's fine as a one off. If they had been 2 and 4 then definitely not. And I definitely do not think you should tell her what to do

Why do you think it wasn't sensible? What would you have done differently?

What’s the problem here - It is because a male was the one being asked to watch over children? Or just that an 8 & 10 year old were left alone for 20 minutes whilst asleep?

I don't think it's any of your business what other people do with their children in an emergency.

Ideal no but understandable in the circumstances
I'd not say anything op

It was a difficult situation.
They are not babies.
They were being watched the whole time.
The person watching was next door and could get to them quickly.
It meant the two women got home safely.

Keep your nose out. The chances of anything happening were vanishingly small.

I might not if they were asleep unless there was a way of leaving a note they would see if they woke up. But I wouldn't think twice if they were awake.

While not ideal, it sounds like a sensible option in the circumstances

Absolutely

I don’t want to sound judgemental but I do want to maybe suggest to my friend that she shouldn’t do this again.

Translation: I'm judgemental as fuck, but I don't want my friend to realise!

What better option have you come up with as to what they should have done? Keeping in mind that the kids were asleep and being watched and it was only 20 minutes.

AIBU to think that this wasn’t a wise idea? I don’t want to sound judgemental but I do want to maybe suggest to my friend that she shouldn’t do this again. Also don’t want to poke my nose in if I’m being unreasonable

You are being judgemental and you're probably looking for everyone to agree with you so you feel justified in poking your nose in. The children aren't babies and it was 20 minutes, presumably they're fine and your advice would be unsolicited. Unsolicited advice is always criticism.

Wasn't ideal incase something unexpected happened but also at 10 and 8 I don't think it was the worst and the situation sounds like an emergency? (Maybe I don't know if the driver was only gone 20 mins couldn't they have just walked home?). I think stay out of it, it's not ideal but also not a huge deal

I think it's fine.

Don't say anything. It wasn't her plan this time and she wouldn't actively plan to do it again. Achieves nothing to stick your oar in stating the obvious. It may not have been wise but it was fine and necessary in the circumstances and.

Presumably the neighbour had a key so would have been able to get to them if there had been a problem, and he knows the children. He may technically have been closer than a parent might have been in a bigger house. And there was no other solution. Yes, YABU and judgemental.

I guess it depends on the children, whether or not they were likely to wake and how they would react to realising they were alone in the house. I personally wouldn't do it as dd (10) would be absolutely distraught if she woke to find herself alone in the house (with her younger brother) and no adult. She is however highly unlikely to wake in the middle of the night once she's asleep. My friend's dd (10) however wouldn't be phased at all and would just go back to sleep. I wouldn't bother saying anything in all honesty. If it's a one-off in an emergency then it's not worth worrying about.

I think it's fine under the circumstances.

Or he could have done what my mum did once, which was get the car nice and warm, fill the back seat with blankets, sleeping bags and other bedding. Then half wake each of us helping us wrap ourselves in warm blankets and carry/ lead us to the car, settle us down and then get my dad.

None of us woke properly, none of us could really remember what had happened when morning came. She let us sleep late.

This would have been getting on for 60 years ago though, fewer cars, all much slower etc. But I am very much a fan of helping kids to sleep pretty much anywhere, and of letting them 'sleep walk' to where you need them to be.

I like their ingenuity!

I think you're being unreasonable and it sounds like a sensible option given the circumstances. What other options would you suggest to your friend did in that situation?