Faux none judgement

InfamousPartyAnimal · 2023-10-07T08:46:47+00:00

Nc for this as I don't want it linked to other threads I have posted on! I have noticed this a lot on here, people falling over themselves to prove how none judgemental they are and I just don't see it in RL. The mantra seems to be, we absolutely must not judge anyone for any actions (no matter how bad) as they are more than likely just salt of the earth people trying to get on with their lives. Sorry but I judge all of the time! Woman/man dropping their kids off at school dressed in nightwear stinking of booze and cigarettes (or worse, weed) with scruffy/dirty looking kids then I judge them as unfit parents. Dog owners that don't walk their dogs and leave them at home all day, barking and causing a nuisance through no fault of their own. I judge them as terrible dog owners that shouldn't be in charge of a cactus never mind a living breathing animal! Men that have multiple children who decide they don't like family life and fuck off with a younger child free model and decide they don't need to pay for their children because the tax payer will pick up the bill. I judge them as pond life. We all make judgements every day, some keep us safe, some mean we interact with people that live similar lifestyles to us and some could be completely wrong but we all make them. I don't believe anyone that says they never judge people, it's part of being human! I am sure I will be told how unreasonable I am because judging is seen as a terrible personality flaw but I just don't think it is.

tpxqi · 07/10/2023 10:01

‘Progressive’ is a new class. Gone are the days that working class or middle class was a thing. Now, either you are a regular person or an elite progressive class type.

The faux non-judgey, virtue signallers are the progressive elitists who will stop at nothing to prove how are moral and superior they are. When you actually scrutinise them, their facade falls apart in about a nanosecond. They are not non-judgemental, they are simply trying too hard to price that they are better than the rest.

Beezknees · 07/10/2023 10:04

I do judge people but I do it on actions and personality rather than appearances. Many people judge others on their appearance before getting to know them.

Original poster

InfamousPartyAnimal · 07/10/2023 10:12

Beezknees · 07/10/2023 10:04

I do judge people but I do it on actions and personality rather than appearances. Many people judge others on their appearance before getting to know them.

So, for example if you saw a person picking their kids up from school in stained pyjamas smelling of BO and cigarettes you absolutely would not judge them negatively?
You would happily think to yourself 'there's a person I would love to get to know'?
Appearances are actions (or lack of action in some cases).

OP posts:

MagpiePi · 07/10/2023 10:12

Beezknees · 07/10/2023 10:04

I do judge people but I do it on actions and personality rather than appearances. Many people judge others on their appearance before getting to know them.

Really?
A homeless person sleeping in a piss soaked doorway, or a member of the royal family stepping out of a horse drawn, gold plated carriage - you have exactly the same split second thoughts about them?

MorrisWallpaper · 07/10/2023 10:13

I have absolutely no issue with saying I’m judgemental. I mean, I assume most people are doing their best, and I couldn’t give two hoots about most of the stuff people seem to consider prime judgement territory here (having an untidy house, looking a mess on the school run, giving your child an unusual name, your tantrum-managing technique in the supermarket ), but if you think The Da Vinci Code is a good novel, or have a conversation style that defaults to reality tv, I reserve the right to think you’re stupid.

Original poster

InfamousPartyAnimal · 07/10/2023 10:15

MorrisWallpaper · 07/10/2023 10:13

I have absolutely no issue with saying I’m judgemental. I mean, I assume most people are doing their best, and I couldn’t give two hoots about most of the stuff people seem to consider prime judgement territory here (having an untidy house, looking a mess on the school run, giving your child an unusual name, your tantrum-managing technique in the supermarket ), but if you think The Da Vinci Code is a good novel, or have a conversation style that defaults to reality tv, I reserve the right to think you’re stupid.

Damn, I quite liked the Da Vinci Code 😵

OP posts:

Soonenough · 07/10/2023 10:16

Love the user name on a non judgemental thread @MorrisWallpaper 😁

Hayfeveroverseason · 07/10/2023 10:16

Of course we judge, its human nature. We make up our minds within the first few seconds of meeting someone and are naturally drawn to "people like us". The trick is not to let your opinions influence how you treat people, or indeed speak your opinions out load.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 07/10/2023 10:17

I thought this was going to be about posts saying they are ‘no judgements here! Just curious!’ when all of their posts are full of judgement.

I judge people. Everyone does it even if they try to pretend they don’t.

Hayfeveroverseason · 07/10/2023 10:18

InfamousPartyAnimal · 07/10/2023 10:15

Damn, I quite liked the Da Vinci Code 😵

Show quote history

So do I actually, I have enjoyed all of Dan Brown's novels.

MagpiePi · 07/10/2023 10:18

MorrisWallpaper · 07/10/2023 10:13

I have absolutely no issue with saying I’m judgemental. I mean, I assume most people are doing their best, and I couldn’t give two hoots about most of the stuff people seem to consider prime judgement territory here (having an untidy house, looking a mess on the school run, giving your child an unusual name, your tantrum-managing technique in the supermarket ), but if you think The Da Vinci Code is a good novel, or have a conversation style that defaults to reality tv, I reserve the right to think you’re stupid.

I have watched several series of MAFS, and I have a dreadful opinion of myself.
😬

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 07/10/2023 10:21

but if you think The Da Vinci Code is a good novel, or have a conversation style that defaults to reality tv, I reserve the right to think you’re stupid.

I really don’t care what other people (legally) enjoy! I like the Da Vinci Code and some reality TV. If you’re someone who judges others for what they like to read or watch (again, legally), then I reserve the right to think you’re a snob!

Pollyputhekettleon · 07/10/2023 10:22

Yes everyone judges. Good judgement is a virtue. The people you're talking about judge different groups of people. I don't know if they're aware that they do that.

Pollyputhekettleon · 07/10/2023 10:24

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 07/10/2023 10:21

but if you think The Da Vinci Code is a good novel, or have a conversation style that defaults to reality tv, I reserve the right to think you’re stupid.

I really don’t care what other people (legally) enjoy! I like the Da Vinci Code and some reality TV. If you’re someone who judges others for what they like to read or watch (again, legally), then I reserve the right to think you’re a snob!

So she judges some people as stupid and you judge her as a snob. Everybody judges, as OP said.

Catza · 07/10/2023 10:26

I kinda approach it as a scientist. When doing scientific research, every scientist will have a bias but in order to produce a solid reliable study, one needs to be aware of their biases and do their best to overcome them. Same with daily judgements. Yes, maybe the mother is an unfit parent based on their presentation but maybe I also can't judge them without getting to know them first. In my twenties, I used to work in a place that saw a lot of celebrities. Someone who looks nice, smells nice and is all smiley on TV can be an absolute c*nt in person, I assure you.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 07/10/2023 10:27

Pollyputhekettleon · 07/10/2023 10:24

So she judges some people as stupid and you judge her as a snob. Everybody judges, as OP said.

Show quote history

Yep. Exactly as I said in my previous post.

Pollyputhekettleon · 07/10/2023 10:27

Hayfeveroverseason · 07/10/2023 10:16

Of course we judge, its human nature. We make up our minds within the first few seconds of meeting someone and are naturally drawn to "people like us". The trick is not to let your opinions influence how you treat people, or indeed speak your opinions out load.

It's absolutely essential to personal safety to let your judgements influence how you behave and how you treat people. Ignoring your own judgement about someone who looks strange and is behaving erratically on the street is one of the ways that people end victims of violence. Same for many people who end up in abusive relationships. And not voicing your judgment about a friend's abusive partner can be the difference between them suffering for years or not.

Devilsmommy · 07/10/2023 10:28

Judge not lest ye be judged 😇 see what I did there 🤣🤣 everyone judges and those claiming they don't are the worst offenders

panelbottle · 07/10/2023 10:32

I genuinely don't judge strangers that much more so because I don't really care about

So, for example if you saw a person picking their kids up from school in stained pyjamas smelling of BO and cigarettes you absolutely would not judge them negatively?

I'd feel sorry for them

panelbottle · 07/10/2023 10:34

A messy house, clothing, music choices etc wouldn't bother me really

Pollyputhekettleon · 07/10/2023 10:36

panelbottle · 07/10/2023 10:32

I genuinely don't judge strangers that much more so because I don't really care about

So, for example if you saw a person picking their kids up from school in stained pyjamas smelling of BO and cigarettes you absolutely would not judge them negatively?

I'd feel sorry for them

You do care, you wouldn't feel sorry for them if you didn't. The reason you feel sorry for them is because you judged them as deserving pity/empathy. The judgement comes first.

panelbottle · 07/10/2023 10:37

A homeless person sleeping in a piss soaked doorway, or a member of the royal family stepping out of a horse drawn, gold plated carriage - you have exactly the same split second thoughts about them?

My split second thought wouldn't be to cast aspersions on the homeless person or think the Royal was superior.

panelbottle · 07/10/2023 10:38

Having said that if it was Andrew getting out of a carriage I bloody would judge!

panelbottle · 07/10/2023 10:39

@Pollyputhekettleon I guess my judgement isn't necessarily coming from a bad place which isn't often the case on MNs.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 07/10/2023 10:44

panelbottle · 07/10/2023 10:37

A homeless person sleeping in a piss soaked doorway, or a member of the royal family stepping out of a horse drawn, gold plated carriage - you have exactly the same split second thoughts about them?

My split second thought wouldn't be to cast aspersions on the homeless person or think the Royal was superior.

I would be more inclined to judge the royalty for allowing the homelessness situation to become so awful! If I was made of money, I would be doing all I could to make sure people weren’t sleeping on the streets!