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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's weird to praise a baby for good behaviour

27 replies

Toooop · 06/10/2023 17:56

A baby under a year old. An older toddler ok, but how can a baby regulate it's behaviour? I've seen a gushy Facebook post of someone's baby who's just turned 1, and the grandmother goes on about what a good and well behaved baby he is :/

OP posts:
Original poster
Toooop · 06/10/2023 17:57

I'm assuming she means a baby who sleeps well and doesn't cry much. It's a baby, it's nothing to do with how well or badly they behave.

OP posts:
MorrisWallpaper · 06/10/2023 18:00

Yes, it’s weird in that babies don’t have a concept of good behaviour, but it is also very old school — I don’t think anyone who wasn’t significantly older ever asked me whether DS was ‘a good baby’. As he was a demanding, easily-bored, cranky, insomniac, I used to reply that he was the spawn of Satan, but MY spawn of Satan and also the the most fabulous baby in world history.

LoopyLooooo · 06/10/2023 18:01

Toooop · 06/10/2023 17:57

I'm assuming she means a baby who sleeps well and doesn't cry much. It's a baby, it's nothing to do with how well or badly they behave.

You know that's what she means 🙄

Original poster
Toooop · 06/10/2023 18:02

😁

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 06/10/2023 18:03

It’s just what people say about young babies because there isn’t really a lot else to say, in the absence of them having actually done or achieved much yet. A bit like crooning “who’s the goodest boy??” to a dog, which also doesn’t have any concept of self-regulating. I wouldn’t read anything else into it.

Original poster
Toooop · 06/10/2023 18:03

Doesn't really matter what I 'know' , I'm just saying what I think, calm down.

OP posts:
Original poster
Toooop · 06/10/2023 18:04

That's true, I guess

OP posts:
3dogsandarabbit · 06/10/2023 18:06

She probably means that he's a happy and contented baby and sleeps through the night.

Prinnny · 06/10/2023 18:07

I wouldn’t call a one year old a baby tbh so yes YABU.

Talipesmum · 06/10/2023 18:09

Whenever people asked me if mine was “a good baby” I’d say “oh he’s massively inconvenient, but luckily he’s also utterly glorious”

ManateeFair · 06/10/2023 18:10

Toooop · 06/10/2023 17:57

I'm assuming she means a baby who sleeps well and doesn't cry much. It's a baby, it's nothing to do with how well or badly they behave.

Of course that's what it means and it's really not that deep.

Are you always as literal-minded and pedantic as this? You understand, surely, that some things are just a figure of speech and that she doesn't genuinely believe a baby can regulate its behaviour?

Also why would this bother you? It's a grandma who is excited to have a lovely grandchild and wants to express that. It's not the front page news story in The Times.

Lizzieregina · 06/10/2023 18:12

MorrisWallpaper · 06/10/2023 18:00

Yes, it’s weird in that babies don’t have a concept of good behaviour, but it is also very old school — I don’t think anyone who wasn’t significantly older ever asked me whether DS was ‘a good baby’. As he was a demanding, easily-bored, cranky, insomniac, I used to reply that he was the spawn of Satan, but MY spawn of Satan and also the the most fabulous baby in world history.

🤣🤣🤣

MorrisWallpaper · 06/10/2023 18:14

ManateeFair · 06/10/2023 18:10

Of course that's what it means and it's really not that deep.

Are you always as literal-minded and pedantic as this? You understand, surely, that some things are just a figure of speech and that she doesn't genuinely believe a baby can regulate its behaviour?

Also why would this bother you? It's a grandma who is excited to have a lovely grandchild and wants to express that. It's not the front page news story in The Times.

Show quote history

No one’s suggesting it’s ‘deep’ only that it’s a fairly stupid thing to say to impute morality or good behaviour to a small baby.

5128gap · 06/10/2023 18:19

When my DDiL asks me 'Has he been good?' she's asking me if I've had a challenging/tiring day with DGS. When I reply 'Good as gold' its because I havent had a challenging/tiring day.

5128gap · 06/10/2023 18:31

I will now if course correct Ddil and explain she should no longer ask if DGS has been good, as its inappropriate of her to impute morality to a baby his age.
Thank you MN for another great tip on how to be a better grandma and MIL.

WonderingWanda · 06/10/2023 18:32

I think people just mean 'easy baby' or 'pain in the arse baby' they are all lovely but some are easier than others. Of course if you think about it too much then saying a baby is good is nonsense because as you say their behaviour isn't under their control.

HeddaGarbled · 06/10/2023 18:36

Oh don’t be such a misery guts 😀

Ap24 · 06/10/2023 18:36

What are you meant to say to babies? Wouldn't praising them be a good routine to get into for when they are older?

Lovingitallnow · 06/10/2023 18:36

Meh I'd be happier that she's putting that out there than saying he's a pain in the arse baby on Facebook. I do love a bit of Facebook gushing an bragging though. I think it's nice when people have pride in themselves or their family. So long as it's genuine. I love a gushing granny.

CurlewKate · 06/10/2023 18:42

It's just doting conversation.

HarrietPierce · 06/10/2023 18:48

Prinnny · Today 18:07

"I wouldn’t call a one year old a baby tbh so yes YABU."

I would , even if the NHS calls a 12 month old a toddler.

Original poster
Toooop · 06/10/2023 19:32

Oh my goodness, some of these replies, chill out 😂 don't take it so personally. I'm just sharing an inoffensive opinion.

OP posts:
1month · 06/10/2023 19:47

She’s not telling the baby what a good baby he is though is she.

Shes telling her FB friends about how well behaved he is because some babies are more challenging than others.

LeftTheWashingOut · 06/10/2023 21:53

It's a funny one OP, it doesn't really make sense because you're right - a baby doesn't know if it's being good or bad. I've had a bad one and a good one now and they are still both the same amount of lovely to me.

But what really is funny is the level of odd response you've got on this thread! Some of the replies have really made me chuckle, thanks for brightening my evening 😀

Prinnny · 06/10/2023 22:07

HarrietPierce · 06/10/2023 18:48

Prinnny · Today 18:07

"I wouldn’t call a one year old a baby tbh so yes YABU."

I would , even if the NHS calls a 12 month old a toddler.

At 12M my child was much more a toddler than a baby, walking, had a few words, had an opinion.. gone was the go with the flow baby!