to admit defeat and be signed off sick and made to live on UC at 39 years old 😢

[SoUnwell]

I have been unwell now for 3 years and lost 4 jobs because of it.
I have gone from job to job in hope I’ll suddenly get better and be able to work as I feel so young to just accept I am unable to.
I have long covid and fibromyalgia ( brought on my long covid ) as well as a b12 deficiency I’ll need monthly injections for life on as my body no longer absorbs anything

I have really tried
I am 2 weeks into another job and can feel all my symptoms coming back
The constant pain and exhaustion is too much to bear

I think the time has come accept defeat and just follow the GPs advice which is to not work tor the time being

How do I go about all of this?

Im already on a small amount of UC as my wages are so low so will they top me up a little until I apply for PIP?
So confused and very worried as have 3 young children

I’m so sorry you are going through this OP. I had long covid and was very ill. I took 6 months off work and 100% focused on my recovery in a way that I couldn’t when I was working. I changed my diet completely. Only fresh fruits and veg and potatoes for the whole time (it was hard but I was desperate to be well again). I ditched alcohol, drank three litres of filtered water per day, went walking every day. I made time for relaxation - not just sitting in the sofa hating myself and my situation which is what I was doing before. Actual ring fenced relaxation time. All I did when the kids were at school was walk, rest and one house job. I explored supplements and reimagined and accepted my new life with reduced capacity.

I could never have done that whilst I was working, I needed the time off.

Im now working 3 days a week and doing great. I went back to old eating habits sadly.

Take some time, this might not be a defeat it might be the start of your healing journey. if you are worried about your career sign up to a small
online course and put it in your CV as time out from the workplace to study. 🌷

@SoUnwell do you work for an LEA? I can message you the best way to do it if you like but there is no quick fix. It's better by sick note and proving her point not hastily handing in your notice.

Just to add I had 7 months off when when I first got long covid and since have struggled back to that job and realised I couldn’t keep up; struggled through another job and realised I couldn’t keep up so this time went part time, had the whole 6 weeks holidays to rest beforehand and within 2 weeks of working I’m sick again 😢

I have PMd you

I'd try to just struggle on in your shoes. Try to rest at weekends and go to bed early if you are so tired. Have you had a full blood test to check for low iron etc? If you've already cut back your hours and the GP won't support your claim what evidence have you got to send to PIP? Have you seen consultants? They should write to your GP stating their opinion on your I'll health. If the GP has a consultant letter I think they'd have to give you a months sick note. I think with PIP you have to have had illness for 3 months and expect it to last for another 9 months. You'd need evidence to confirm this either from a consultant or your GP.

I’ve seen various consultants
Im under the long covid clinic too
Ive had every test I’m allowed to have and the only thing that came back was the pernicious aneamia meaning monthly jabs - the rest has been put down to long covid

Because I’ve struggled through work this week I’m in agony now and can’t move
The kids have gone with their dad for the weekend so this is making me a crap parent too as without resting in the day when I need to this is the fallout effect 😢

Then you need to get the long Covid clinic to write you a report. Send it in to PIP. Without a GP support it is hard to claim PIP. Could you change GP's if yours is not very supportive?

Thank you
Whilst PIP would be really helpful it’s the top up on UC I’ll really need or won’t afford to live 😢
Ive got my next long covid appt in December so will ask them to do that

@SoUnwell you should be able to google what a limited capability form looks like and what points you need to get it (I believe it's 15) As far as I know though you need a sympathetic GP. Assessment takes about three months.

Sorry I forgot to ask do you not feel any better after your jabs? I always have a honeymoon period of a couple of weeks after I have them.

I sometimes feel better for a week at most but the GP can’t do them any more frequently than once a month.
Ive even had private ones and I still get very unwell to be fair after a week or so of working.
Thank you for your reply - I want to stay in work but I don’t know how to when I’m constantly having to take time off sick

They’ll probably let me go anyway now as I brand new 😢

Do you have a carer for your children when they are with you?

Children are far more emotionally and physically demanding than a part time office job. I would be concerned about your ability to safely parent given how ill you are. If you aren't able to stay awake or move or walk or do basic tasks - how could you safely have children in the home? Especially if your kids are little.

If you tell your GP you are capable of safely parenting 3 children but you aren't capable of basic tasks, that will raise some eyebrows.

I agree, it’s actually depressing some peoples attitude and I bets none of them have experienced anything like long covid or post viral fatigue or if they have they should know why she can’t work.

Op - this is what it’s for. Anyone who knows you would not blame you. You need to accept the support(and be thankful we live in a country that provides this) and use your time to rest and recuperate. I’m sure you’re busy enough with three little ones. Good luck to you

How old are your children?

5.7 and 11.

It’s very different looking after children when I’ve been able to rest when they’re at school though isn’t it?

Not really as you have rested all night and then aren't able to do basic office tasks during the day. So it doesn't seem that rest gives you what you need to manage work, let alone children.

If you were saying work took all your energy so you didn't have anything left for the kids, then being at home to rest during the day might help but you are saying you don't even have the energy for work even after a night's rest.

The energy requirement to be on track when parents are asking me questions and a headteacher needs things done in a matter of minutes etc is not the same to looking after my own children as I can’t pace anything.
The head can’t “ wait a minute “ like the children can if she needs something done

The biggest issue with this is that days can massively fluctuate, some days I’ll be ok and others exhausted and in a lot of pain so holding a job down is what I’m struggling with as even if I don’t leave a job, after a while with my sick record being so bad I get hauled into meetings etc and this time I’m on probation so they can easily just let me go

This is the point I was making as being able to parent 3 kids alone contradicts the rest.

I'm not saying I agree with it but it could well count against you. I would urge caution before giving up your job.

@Willyoujustbequiet is absolutely right. It will be very difficult to convince the assessors (who are looking for any reason to decline) that you can look after 3 children but can’t work at least part time in an office environment or working from home. You will almost definitely still be expected to look for work alongside it.

It’s also worth noting, that it’s very difficult to claim for Long Covid, the success rate for PIP claims in general is about 53%, the success rate for claims for Long Covid is about 47% so less than average chance of getting it even in typical circumstances. Part of the assessment is about your daily responsibilities and they will be able to say then that if you are able to keep 3 children alive and well, fed, clothed etc, you’ve got the capacity to work at least in a part time capacity.

This seems unfair as when I have awful days, their dad or my parents can assist - they can’t however go to work for me!
Or stop my employer from letting me go due to terrible sickness records

This is not accurate according to lots of other websites

They can’t discriminate and say that people who are unwell can’t look after their children especially when they have support like I do

This is all for PIP and as I’ve said this isn’t what I need to survive so if I don’t get that I’ll still be able to function - it’s the UC element of being too unwell to work I would need

The threshold for UC to be classed as LCWRA is very high.
The form includes things like:

• Can you stand or sit
• Can you go up or down 2 steps
• Can you press a button, such as a key pad
• Can you turn the page of a book
• Can you communicate a simple message to someone such as presence of danger e.g. fire
• Can you understand simple messages from people by hearing or lip reading
• Can you learn how to do an every day task such as setting an alarm
• Do you need someone to stay with you for you to feel safe?
• Can you leave home to go somewhere you know?
• Can you get food to your mouth without help

To get the full UC top up you need to be found LCWRA, and it’s going to be hard to satisfy those points while still being able to take care of 3 young children. I’m not saying morally this is right or wrong, but it is the case.

You may be able to get into the Limited Capacity for Work group so would get some UC top up I believe it’s £132 a month, but you would still have to do some “work activities” there, so attending workshops, undertaking skills training etc.