100% believe I'm in the right here but you never know.
Context: My husband and I both work full time. Both have stressful jobs.
He has long shifts (10+ hours) but his days off can fall during the week when our child goes to daycare so he has actual time off to do as he pleases (it's just how his shifts work. No shade that our kid isnt at home with him. We still send him so we can keep his place and its fun for him) and I do not. I often bring work home and either work into the night or grab some time during baby's nap time. My "days off" are weekends where I'm 100% in charge of the house and our baby if my husband is working.
My husband is as hands on as he can be in the time that he has.
On to the issue: last night, he came home at around 7.30pm (late for him) and I'd already done grocery shop, laundry, bathtime, bedtime, cleaned the lounge etc. I was pretty tired.
I made dinner. I made breaded chicken (from frozen, like a Birds Eye packet), roasted garlic potatoes and salad. Not really a chore. But somewhat nutritious.
Husband was super grateful and ate it all up.
He then did the dishes.
I was chatting to my friend (let's call her A) about our day and she was appalled that I'd made my husband a "low effort and low quality dinner" and that "making him do the dishes after a long day at work was bitchy and unhelpful". Like... excuse me?! I also worked yesterday. And did 100% of the childcare/housework. I was exhausted. I didn't even ask him to do the dishes. He did them himself because he's an adult who knows how and when to wash dishes.
I told her this.
She told me not to be surprised when he finds someone willing to put more effort into the relationship. More context: A was involved with a married man who left his wife for her, citing that his wife didn't make enough effort. She's paranoid AF that he'll leave if she isn't 100% perfect. Their house is like a fucking show home and every meal is organic from scratch blah blah blah.
I got angry and told her that my husband isn't her concern, that if he leaves me because of a dinner then he's not much of a man. She then said ahe was only telling me "for your own good". I lost my sh1t and told her to f**k off.
Husband says I'm in the right. Another friend agrees with A that I should have put more effort into the meal and offered to do the dishes because husband worked a longer day than I did.
But the way I see it, we both worked so why is his job and work day more important than mine?
If anyone's wondering, I started work at 7am, finished at 3.30pm, did the grocery shop at 4.30pm (after commuting an hour), bathed baby at 6.40pm, put him to bed by 7.20pm and had 10mins to myself before husband came home. I started dinner as soon as he walked in.
Husband started work at 9.30am and got in at 7.30pm meaning he finished at 7pm.
Was I wrong to tell her this? Am I just lazy?
Edit: my husband never EVER expects me or even asks me to cook for him. We have VERY different tastes in food so we often just cook for ourselves because it's easier!